And baby makes three

Flying with a Toddler

2011-11-03T15:16:00.002-04:00

I was visiting West Philly Mama blog which made me think of our upcoming travel plans. We ar heading to NYC next weekend and then Florida a few weeks after that. For the most part, I'd consider Preston a well traveled baby all considering he's only been on the earth for 18 months. I would say that he's probably flown roundtrip close to 10 times. However, the older he gets, the harder it is to fly with him. For the most part, I fly with him alone. So I'd like to consider myself pretty experienced in this department. I can get through security with a baby, carry on suitcase, diaper bag and stroller in a breeze. However, it was definitely challenging the last two times. He's at an age now where nursing him doesn't put him to sleep instantly which was always my go to plan. He's also curious about everything and everybody. Even though I buy a lap child ticket, we've been pretty fortunate about scoring a free seat so that he can have his own (with the exception of one flight). However, the one flight he literally pulled the shade up and down for half of the flight until I moved his seat. He's also incredibly fascinated by the tray table and yes, no matter how much I try, he's the kid who will kick the back of your seat because what else can you do with your legs on a 2+ hour flight when you can't walk around? I know he must drive the people around him crazy.

One thing I've learned about Preston is that he needs containment in order to fall asleep. This could mean being in the Ergo, strapped in to a carseat or simply being in his crib. We usually don't take the car seat when visting my mom because 1. there's no guarantee that we will get a free seat and 2. they have one for him so it would be pointless to add another heavy item when I'm already traveling solo. Someone told me about a CARES harness which looks good in theory but it expensive (SN- if anyone has one that they are willing to sell, please let me know).

So I'm going to take some tips from West Philly Mama and his Pediatrician...pack lots of snacks, go to the dollar store and buy some cheap new toys that we can pitch afterwards, and download some episodes of Sesame Street or Barney on to my iPhone.

If anyone else has any other tips for flying with a Toddler, please let me know.

Love You Forever

2011-11-03T02:30:00.001-04:00

I find this book very strange but oddly enough I'm drawn to it. So drawn that I may actually buy it to add to the little one's library.

It's about the love between a mother and her son that transcends over time. Each night when he's asleep she takes him in her arms, rocks him back and forth and sings to him her own little song. However, she does this little ritual even when he's an adult and living in his own place across town. She takes her ladder, climbs in to his room and rocks him. I almost died of laughter when I read it for the first time. I have so many questions like what the hell does his wife think? What if they were having sex? Why doesn't he wake up? Does she have difficulty sleeping? Why doesn't she ask for a key? Quite honestly, I think it would make an awesome SNL skit.

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Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T13:33:00.002-04:00

Growing up we didn't celebrate Halloween. The first time I dressed up was in college. Why didn't we celebrate? I had a very proud father who would say "if you want candy, we will buy it for you. There's no need to go begging for it." You can't miss something you never had so it never really bothered me. And while it's typical to carry on family traditions, this is one that we may break.

Last year my friend invited us to TOT in her neighborhood. It was held the Saturday before Halloween and we had a blast. I do have to admit that it did feel weird "asking" for candy. Sometimes I had Danielle do it. I felt a lot more comfortable taking him to the Halloween parties at the library and Barnes and Noble than going door to door.

This year at the last minute I decided to make his costume. We went to the party at the library and the zoo last week. However, he missed TOT with my friend on Saturday because it was snowy, wet and cold. I was totally unprepared for the snow and there was no way I was sending him out in the cold in only a Fall jacket. So we stayed home.

I was all set to carve pumpkins last night but I think because I bought it several weeks ago at when we went to the farm that I couldn't cut it open. So we settled for stickers instead. What better way to start our Halloween celebration off this morning than with pumpkin and raisin pancakes and apple sauce for dipping, playing outside in the leaves, Halloween stories, coloring, and right now...a nap. Later he will help pass put candy to the 10 TOT we get each year.

It's like pulling teeth to get him to look at the camera these days.

So surprised that he ate not only a bite but all of the pancakes. Yay!!!!

If anyone ever needs a toddler bib recommendation, I highly recommend the baby bjorn.

Giddy up cowboy! Making his outfit was so much fun.

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Discovery of Peanut Allergy

2011-10-28T14:01:00.004-04:00

A few people are curious about how we discovered that my little guy had an allergy. Over the summer, when he was about 14-15 months old, I gave him some Jif With a Touch of Honey Peanut Butter on crackers as a snack. I did this about three times and he didn't react. We ran out of the PB and a few weeks later while I was in Whole Foods, I picked up a jar of their organic brand. Once again, I gave it to him as a snack on crackers. This time around he reacted. His eyes became red and itchy, he broke out in pimples, and his face turned red and splotchy. He couldn't stop rubbing his eyes. I made the decision to give him Benedryl which he had never been given before and the only reason we had it in the house was because our dog had a reaction to shots the year prior. It did the trick. In the meantime, we had called our Pediatrician but when they called back it went straight to voicemail and because we had his symptoms under control we never called them back. I just figured we would avoid peanut butter.

During his 18 month check up, I added this to my list of questions. I wasn't sure if it was a brand issue or an overall allergy issue. She said it had nothing to do with the brand. She suggested blood work to see if he would test positive and he did.

The Allergist said that because he was exposed and reacted at a young age (<2), there's a likelihood that he can outgrow it. I'm not sure what the theory is behind that but in the meantime, we plan to just stay clear of nuts. He also said that there is a significant increase in peanut allergies among children compared to years ago when we were younger.

We stopped off at Whole Foods today and it was one of my first times shopping since learning of the allergy. A lot of packages indicate if the product contains nuts or is processed in a plant where products containing peanuts and tree nuts are processed. I ended up putting a lot of things back. It's a really difficult decision to make. Do you put the items back or do you get them? For example, I've bought Preston Nutrigrain bars before. Whole Foods had their own brand on sale today but the package said it was processed in the same plant as other nuts so I put it back. The rational part of me wanted to buy it thinking he's had a similar product before but the other part of me said, if he gets sick, I will be ridden with guilt because I knew the warning on the package. On my way home, I decided that I'm going to live by the rule that if he's had it in the past, I will buy it.

I'm starting to see how it may be easier to make my own goodies for him. At least I'll be more aware of what's going in to it. I've been inspired to make my own pumpkin pancakes from scratch this weekend. We will see how that goes!!!

Warning: Peanut Allergy

2011-10-28T02:59:00.002-04:00

Last week my little one was diagnosed with a peanut allergy. It's not the worst thing in the world. God, I could think of a million things worse. However, it has definitely added a curve ball to the world of eating and if you read my previous post about food, this just adds another element to the mix.

After getting the b/w results, his pediatrician referred him to an Allergist who said no peanuts, no tree nuts, and no chocolate. Wowzer!!! The last two are just a precaution. His rationale was most places that process peanuts also process other nuts and we don't want to risk cross contamination. The same with chocolate. Most places that process one kind of chocolate bar process ones that have nuts in it. He said he sees a lot of cases where cross contamination is the culprit of a nasty reaction. He even talked about a woman he saw before seeing my son who went to get a smoothie and because the machine was used to make one with pb earlier that day, she had a reaction and had to administer an epi pen in the food court. He talked about a kid whose school provides peanut free cookies at lunch but directly after eating one he had a reaction and was taken to the hospital. So the really frustrating part to all of this is that no matter how cautious I am about not exposing him to nuts, something as simple as as the smoothie incident or a factory not thoroughly cleaning their equipment could lead to a reaction. He's not in the care of others very often but I have visions of him going off to preschool in a year or so and how all of this will play out.

I'm trying to make a conscious effort for this not to rule our lives. But the reality is we are now going to be reading labels for one addition piece of information, being mindful of cross contamination, letting caregivers know pb&j's are off the menu (not that he would eat it anyway- see food post), and asking if foods are cooked with peanut oil when going to restaurants. Yes, it will be a challenge but we will make the best of it.

Food

2011-10-28T02:39:00.003-04:00

I've checked out two blogs tonight that talked about bento boxes for their toddler aged children. They look like a neat idea and something I'd love to try out with Preston but here's the problem... my kid won't venture outside of a select list of foods. You don't know how painstakingly difficult this is for me. A person who identifies herself as a foodie, a good cook, a lover of all yummy things. I love to try new foods. I'm always preaching about trying something first before ruling it out so at least you can make an informed statement when you say that you don't like something. And here I have this kid who is very particular about food.

I have all of these great ideas for lunches and he won't eat any of them. I made the fluffiest eggs for him the other day, toast shaped like an elephant and he refused it. I made homemade mac and cheese with a homemade cheese sauce and he refused it because he won't eat pasta. My kid likes unsalted crackers, fruit, veggies, and if you can make it in to a soup he's all for it. So I find myself making soup a lot. Homemade chicken and vegetable or beef and vegetable soup only for the simple reason I know he's getting protein, veggies, and grain in a meal. Now if i separated all of those thing and put them on a plate, he would only eat the veggies. I'm seriously looking forward to the day when he will eat what we eat and I'm not making a separate meal for him.

Do you think it's wise to stop being a short order cook and only present to him what we eat? Sometimes, if we are eating something, he will come up and ask to try it. We always give it to him (if it's something appropriate) but he lets his tongue touch it and it's like if he doesn't like the texture, he spits it out (i.e. he asked for the mac and cheese so i gave it to him. He put it in his mouth and as soon as he felt the pasta, he spit it out). Now if I could somehow put it in the food processor and puree it, he would eat it. So I don't always think it's the taste, I think it's the texture. My doctor doesn't seem concerned and I have to admit that over time, he has increased what he will eat so I'm sure this is only a blip on the map but geesh!

Baby Fever

2011-10-28T02:26:00.003-04:00

I couldn't even conceive the idea of wanting another child until a few weeks ago. The idea of having two children scared the crap out of me. Not that I don't love children but I worried that time would be taken away from my son and I also worried where I would get the energy from to care of them. However, lately I've developed a terrible case of baby fever. I see a baby and get all warm and fuzzy and wishful. But at this time in my life, it's just not a good time to entertain the idea.

I wonder what it will be like to ttc again. Will it be as difficult both physically and emotionally? Will it take as long? Now that I'm two years older, will I have more challenges? Sometimes I think back to monitoring my cycles, peeing on a stick and it all feels like eons ago.

I'd love to give Preston a brother or sister. I'd love to give him one close in age. My brothers are 7 and 9 years older than I am. They were great to have around but hardly playmates for me. So on one hand there's motivation to entertain the idea but on the other hand it doesn't seem like the right time for me for various reasons.

Some day I suppose and if it doesn't happen...well I already got my wish and I will do everything to make his life as a single child the best I can.

18 month stats

2011-10-11T20:16:00.000-04:00

Baby boy is now 18 months old. His favorite thing to say this week is "where are you?" it's quite adorable. He's calling for Mama more often but when we answer he doesn't have much to say if anything at all. I think he's just testing it out.

Temper tantrums are starting to happen on a daily basis. Luckily they are not severe. We usually try to ignore them although he's added head banging to the mix. The doctor recommends that we ignore that too instead of me holding my hand there while saying nothing. The head banging usually happens in his high chair while he has to wait for his food to cool down. I know he's frustrated so I dont get too upset by them. Although arching his back and pelvis while trying to buckle him in to his car seat is not fun and makes getting in and out of the car to do errands undesirable.

At this age, he loves books and I love to see him with one or two in hand. He can be often settled by a book or sometimes I'll leave one in his crib while he sleeps and he wakes up and looks through it which buys me about 15 minutes of extra sleep.

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No more nursies

2011-10-08T23:54:00.002-04:00

My boobs slightly ache and yes, my heart slightly aches too. There are some days he doesn't ask to be nursed but when he does, I have a lot of guilt redirecting his focus. It's hard for any parent to deny their child of something especially when it's readily available. He looks up at me with those big brown eyes and signs "more milk" and it feels awful telling him "no nursies this morning. You just had milk in your sippy." However, my little guy is at an age where I feel pretty comfortable ending our breastfeeding relationship. I will definitely miss snuggling up with him in that way or having that one on one time that is so distinctly different from any other quality time spent with him. This week we went three days without nursing and then one morning out of sheer guilt I caved and now we are back to 2 days without.

Thinking back, I was incredibly worried about not being able to nurse. I did a lot of reading beforehand and attended a breastfeeding workshop at my son's pediatrician's office. It was something I wanted to provide to my son and with the help of a local breastfeeding center which is adjoined to my pediatricians office, as well as his doctors (some of whom are lactation consultants), and some other nursing moms, I feel very fortunate to have had this experience.

I remember the absolute joy I felt when I first nursed him after giving birth. The nurses were supportive and helpful in the hospital as I fumbled with getting him to latch. I remember being incredibly stressed in the NICU the following few days while I waited for my milk to come in, learning to use a breast pump, and having only a 30 minutes every three hours to nurse him when he was removed from the isolet for that very reason.

Coming home from the NICU was a whole other experience. I remember asking Danielle to support my wishes of having just the three of us at home because I really wanted to focus on breastfeeding and didn't want the stress of entertaining or having to leave the room. Nursing was definitely challenging in the beginning. I can't remember if I read it or if someone told me that the first two weeks are the hardest and to keep trudging through no matter what. I was never tempted to give Preston formula but there were times I was tempted to give him a bottle of pumped milk. In the end I never went that route and just like that after two weeks it was much easier.

The first bump in the road months and months laer was flying home after seeing my parents. I was nursing Preston on the plane and he bit me. I remember removing him from my breast and telling him no. Later that night he refused to nurse. I was devastated and heartbroken. My kid had never refused the breast from the day he was born. I was worried he would never nurse again. I was hurt when Danielle offered him a bottle of breastmilk which he took without hesitation. I remember crying that same night because I wasn't ready to end. Needless to say I over reacted because around his 2am feeding he latched on. Even at a young age, he was communicating his unhappiness with my response to his biting. Note, he's bitten me about a total of 3 times his entire life and about twice were done purposely after he was done nursing and was testing the waters. I know a lot of people quit at the sign of the first bite but if neither of you are ready to end, this truly is not a reason to give it up. People also assume just because babies get teeth, it's time to stop, it's not.

At 12 months I was happy with making it that far. It was my plan at birth to stop around 12 months but when we got to that point neither of us were ready to stop. At 14 months we revisited it but continued and it wasn't until around 17 months that I felt we were both getting to the end. Nursing had reduced to the morning when Danielle brought him in and sometimes out of boredom during the day but it felt it was done more out of routine than need.

So here we are, 2 days shy of his 18 month marker. I can finally buy new bras because my breasts won't fluctuate in size. I'm looking forward to snuggling with him in bed without him asking to be nursed. It's a new chapter.

Potty training

2011-09-15T12:57:00.001-04:00

We are gearing up to start potty training. I read about a three day approach where they go bottomless for three days and essentially you are on guard for pee/poop action and whisk them on to the potty. This is followed by an enthusiastic potty dance. No snacks, no stickers, no fancy singing potty. I'm drawn to this approach because Preston responds well to a cheer and clapping and will often cheer and clap for himself when he's done something positive. So I haven't decided when we will start because the method also requires you to be somewhat housebound for two of those three days. But in the meantime we are gearing up so the potty isn't seen as a scary thing.

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Couch to 5k

2011-09-15T03:29:00.001-04:00

My cheap alternative to the gym plus my love of the outdoors have led me to running. I bought a jogging stroller off Craigslist, downloaded a couch to 5k app, and this weekend I will look for better running shoes. It's time to shed the last 5-10 pounds and ward off any I will undoubtedly gain over the winter.

I ran in college for a semester but that was only to catch the eye of a guy I was interested in. Once I got his attention I stopped. At that time I had a fab body and didn't need to run for a purpose.

So here I am at week 1, day 1. Stay posted.

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Teething Hell (part II)

2011-09-11T21:35:00.004-04:00

Why does teething have to cause a disruption to our regularly scheduled program? Preston had a good thing going there. Wake up at 7:30am, nap from 12pm-4pm, and bedtime at 8pm. I mean, we could practically set our watches to this routine. But a vacation in Florida and two molars have f***ed this flow up. Why? I want to scream from the rooftop. Why? Our schedule, if you can call it that now looks like this: bedtime at 8pm, won't fall asleep until 10pm and during those lovely hours cries if you leave the room. Then wake up at 3am. If you have the energy to insist that he stays in his crib, it takes him 1-2 hours to fall back asleep (with you in the room) and if we bring him in to our room, he falls asleep instantly. So as I said, depending on our energy level and our desire not to reinforce this new need for dependence, midnight awakening can either be short or long. If it's short, he wakes up around 7:30am usual. If not, then we are looking at 9am/10am. This then pushes nap time back about 30 minutes but also extends it anywhere from 4pm-5:30pm which then affects bedtime. It's a vicious cycle I tell you. (SN: I started writing this entry in his room while waiting for him to fall asleep).

So why the rant? I think deep down I need some reassurance that we will eventually go back to our regularly scheduled program. I'm not opposed to change, but I also don't like the fact that he is not sleeping through the night anymore or that it's taking him so long to fall asleep. Does his nap during the day need to be shorter? Isn't there a cardinal rule that says never wake a sleeping baby?

The confusing thing is that he doesn't foster dependence at nap time. I lay him in his crib, read a book, kiss him and tell him it's nap time and that I'll see him when he wakes up and leave the room. He lays there, chit chats to himself and then falls asleep. No whining, no tears, no insistence on having us in the room. So what's different about bedtime?

Please someone in blogland, reassure me that this too shall pass?

Teething Hell

2011-09-04T21:40:00.002-04:00

I paid a $20 copay to be told that my son is teething. Aggrrr, I jumped the gun again. However, I'd rather pay the $20 and find out it's only that than to either worry not knowing if he's truly sick or find out that he is sick and needs meds. At any rate, we cancelled our DC trip and decided that it would probably be best for him to rest up over the holiday weekend which also allows me a chance to rest as well. If you remember, we just got back from Florida midweek, I work nights...enough said.

So we are in teething hell, which has led to snot hell, fever hell, and I won't fall asleep at night unless I'm in the same room as you hell (I use the word hell very lightly because honestly, it's really not that bad). He continues to remain rather pleasant given the circumstances but periodically gets very whiny. We are on day #3 of a fever that breaks for only a few hours if we are lucky and then returns. Consequently, we are also on day #3 of sleeping in our bedroom. I have a periodic moment of worry that he will not return to his bedroom but I think overall, he just wants to be close by. Through his misery, he continues to be a sweet boy and will seek out tight hugs from us in between play, naps, and having his nose wiped. Have I mentioned how much snot this boy has?

His upper molars have sprouted and the doctor said she can feel his lower ones pushing through. He hasn't teethed in almost 8 months. He has absolutely no use for Sophie because I think he's forgotten her purpose and yet I think she would help if he would give her a try. He loved her when he was younger.

On another note, nursing is starting to dwindle down. I think we are both ready although I'm allowing Preston to lead the way. While we were in Florida there were two mornings that he didn't nurse because my parents got him up and gave him milk and breakfast while I slept in. I've also noticed over the past week or so he's been asking for it less and less during the day. The only sucky thing about all if this is that I'm starting to gain some weight back (sigh).

Anyway, my little guy will be turning 17 months next week. Until then...

It just gets better

2011-08-21T21:27:00.001-04:00

There are days that I think "oh this is a fun age" and then a few weeks pass and I think the same thing. It seems like each new day brings about a new skill, word, or action that makes us laugh (see pics of him trying on a pair of glasses that were left at our house). Yesterday, he realized it was fun to walk backwards. So as he would walk forward, he would just randomly stop and walk backwards. He's also learned how to ride backwards in his truck which makes him laugh a lot. New words this weekend include: doggie and night night. He also perfected the words nana and diaper. He's still working on perfecting Gracie. He can say mommy and mama but won't call us by either name. When will that start?

I also noticed that he imitates others, especially Danielle. This is pretty funny when she acts silly and he mimics her. He's very focused at times and will work on something until he gets it right(i.e. fastening a clip). I love his determination and love watching him hard at work.

At the end of May, beginning of June, we bought him two pairs of sandals hoping that they would last him the entire summer. One pair were Tevas to play in and the other, a pair from Stride Rite for when he goes out. I think the Tevas are a size 6 and the others a 6.5. Well last week we noticed that he's completely outgrown them (think toe hanging over and marks left from the others being fastened). So we went to buy him another pair and ended up with Keens in a size, brace yourself, a size 9!!!!!!!!! I know 2 year olds who wear a size 7. In Preston's defense, he's truly a size 8.5 but the salesman who fitted him recommended a 9 to give him room to grow stating if we bought the 8.5, we would be back next week for the next size up. At this rate, this child is going to be in adult shoes by the time he's 5- lol.

We are heading to Florida at the end of the week to visit his grandparents. It's a much needed trip. Why? Because my parents dote all over us by making out favorite food, driving us around, taking Preston in the morning while I sleep in. It's great. It a week of no cleaning, being annoyed because the house or laundry isn't done, or cooking. It's just lovely. We are also taking Preston to Disney for the day. What's better than that? The only downside is there's a potential hurricane and I don't want our flight to be delayed or cancelled getting there.

Anyway until next week, here are some pics of my silly bean.

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16 Months

2011-08-07T22:44:00.007-04:00

Preston is a few days shy of turning 16 months. At this point in his life he's gained a few more words which includes "banana (a-naa-na) and eye." I'm sure there's more but I can't think right now. He's really in to giving hugs, like really good tight squeezes, I wanna show you much I love you hugs. He loves to climb and this past month, he's learned how to run which for some reason cracks him up. He loves being chased and chasing others, including the dog and cat.

Last week he went on his first camping trip with me, my best friend and her girlfriend. Being outdoors is so refreshing and I loved that Preston had a chance to get down and dirty. We had a lovely stream that ran steps behind our tent. It was wonderfully cold and refreshing after hiking and playing hard.

Being home with Preston during the day is still working out well. We have tons of fun and still have time to get in a good nap. Preston still naps from 12p-4p. However, the other afternoon he swung his leg over the front of his crib and climbed out. I'm so not ready to convert his crib. Luckily, he only tried it one more time but Danielle caught him in the act and he hasn't tried it again. Someone suggested the crib tent. I think my other option is to put him in the pack and play if things progress or see if I can remove the platform that holds his mattress and put his mattress on the floor inside of his crib (granted there are no gaps for him to get stuck in). I just worry that if I convert his crib, nap time and bed time will become a nightmare. Not to mention that I don't think he's developmentally ready to go in a toddler bed yet. When did you guys convert?

I'm working on maintaining patience while Preston tests limits. I know the situation could be worse so I won't complain but he will purposely look at me while he's doing something I told him not to do (i.e. play in the dog's water bowl, unplug things, go after the cat). I'm trying to avoid giving a huge reaction so not to reinforce it but sometimes it's hard.

Food consistency continues to be an issue. He prefers that his food is pureed somewhat (similar to stage 3 jarred food). However, he will eat fruit, crackers, etc in whole form. He refuses things like cheese, pasta, rice, etc. I'll look forward to the day he eats what we eat. I mean, he will, as long as it's pureed. He's mastered using a spoon and fork for self feeding. My newest favorite baby item is the Baby Bjorn bib. It's catches everything and wipes down nicely.

We are heading to Nana's and Granddad's at the end of the month. My 8 year old cousin is visiting them for the summer and we are going to tag along on their annual Disney World trip. It should be fun.

13 months

2011-06-05T21:14:00.004-04:00

My baby boy is totally awesome. Even after a year, I fall deeper and deeper in love with him each and every day. He's just a funny, energetic, and delightful child. He amazes me with his new skills and antics. I tease that he's "all boy" at times because of his antics.

A few weeks ago, he discovered his penis. And let me tell you that this child doesn't miss an opportunity to touch it. Naked heiny time is now one of his favorite times of the day as well as any diaper change.

Preston has been walking full time for over 4 weeks now. He's great at signing "more", "milk" (which he uses interchangeably for milk, breastmilk, and water), and "all done." We will add a few more over the next week or two. Words include "hi" (which sounds more like "eyeeee", "up", "mama" (which he doesn't use all that much), "dadda" (which he uses a lot-lol), and "oh uh." There are some other unidentifiable words that he uses as well.

With the mention of breastmilk, we are still nursing. I feel like once you pass the 12 month mark, there's some shame attached to nursing. People expect you to stop all together. However, the truth is, we both still enjoy nursing, especially in the morning. It's a relaxing way to start the day. During the day, he nurses here and there but he generally gets water or cow's milk. We've opted not to give him juice because at this point, I see no reason for it. He gets fresh fruit at every meal and I'm not sure there's anything juice can provide that fresh fruit can't.

My little guy loves to play. He especially loves water. So bathtime, washing his hands, and playing with his water table are all at the top of his list. He really enjoys cars, or using things to push around like a car. Everything turns in to a phone for him to talk in to such as remotes, tiles, books, etc. He's learning how to throw, which is both good (balls) and bad (throwing a rock at my glass).

He continues to study things to figure out their function and how it works. I find it incredibly adorable when he tries things for himself like after I cut his fingernails, he'll take the closed clipper and puts it to his nail and then moves to the next one. He loves to try to put our shoes on. When we brush our teeth in the morning, I'll make a noise like "ahhhhhhhh" as I'm brushing and he does it too.

Well enough of me going on and on. I'm not on here that much but when I am, I want to highlight where he's at in his development.

Birthday Weekend

2011-04-13T16:24:00.003-04:00

A coworker teases that Preston is a celebrity because he is so loved and adored by so many people. God, writing that sounds so narcessistic but it's true, he's loved by so many of my friends and family. So much that my friend flew in from NY for his first birthday and another friend drove in from DC.

We decided to have his 1st birthday party at Gymboree Play and Music. He attends classes there and it's just the perfect indoor place for a 1st birthday party. They do everything. All I had to do was show up with cupcakes and bottled water. A lot of thought went in to the cupcakes. Yea, I could have bought some from the bakery but I really wanted to feel like I contributed something to this party since they do everything for you. A first I made lemon raspberry but found them way too sweet and a little harsh for little mouths and then I found a lovely chocolate cake with mocha frosting. The mocha frosting is to die for but obviously I omitted the coffee part of it. They were a hit, topped off with a fresh raspberry.

The only thing with being a baby celebrity is that my house ends up looking like Toys R Us!!! He received a lot of cool toys and books. Ideally, I'd like to put some toys away and rotate them in a few weeks but I have to find somewhere to store them. I also have to part with some of his older toys. Half of his large sized toys are geared for outdoor play which helps a lot. We are definitely going to have a fun summer.

The following day we went to our first Pittsburgh baseball game. The Pirates have a pretty bad rep but it was fun to get out in the sun. My friend's husband works for the team and gave us really nice tickets. I would definitely go again. I had no idea what was going on but it was nice to be outside and amongst fans.

And for Preston's actual birthday which was on Monday, Danielle took the day off from work and we went to The Children's Museum.

Happy Birthday

2011-04-13T16:06:00.002-04:00

My beautiful baby turned 1 a few days ago. These past few days I've sat back and relived my pregnancy, his birth and the past year being his mother. To say that this past year has been the best ever would be an understatement. Being a first time mother and working through the challenges most experience the first year has been pretty awesome. I can say that now that we are past some of those challenges but even in the moment, I had a lot of support and knew it was par for the course. Preston is just a pleasant, sweet and incredibly funny baby. There's not a day that goes by that I don't fall more and more in love with him or a day that passes where he doesn't amaze me with one of his antics or small feats. I've said this before and I'll say it again that I truly feel incredibly lucky. Getting pregnant was a challenge and so I never and hope I'll never take him for granted.

So here's to Danielle and I for getting through the first year parenting this awesome little boy and here's to Preston for being that awesome little boy.

First Steps

2011-03-29T23:05:00.002-04:00

At 11 months, 2 weeks and 4 days old, my little boy took his first steps.

11 1/2 months

2011-03-26T22:38:00.005-04:00

I can't believe my last post was in February. Time to catch you up.

Job: My body is suprisingly adjusting to the odd hours. Preston and I have fallen in to a nice routine during the day where we have time to play, go out in to the community, and rest. I love spending the day with him. The weather is starting to warm up which means walks in the park and local neighborhoods and lots of playing.

Food: My sugarplum still prefers pureed food over anything else. I think because he doesn't have to put much effort in to eating it. There are a few things he enjoys munching on but he won't eat pasta for me on his own, he hates bread (did this child come frome me?) and he's finicky about picking up most things with his fingers to put in his mouth. However, if I serve it to him on a spoon, he will give it a shot. I'm not too worried about it though. He won't go to college this way.

Teeth: He has his two upper and two lower teeth. He has two more lower teeth coming in and two upper. He went so long with just two teeth and now it seems like they are all coming in at once.

Skin: He has terrible dry skin resulting in little dry patches and what looks like a red rash on his cheeks and chin. I bought Eucerin but it doesn't seem too effective. I wonder if I should try aquaphor again. Any suggestions?

Sleep: Cue angels singing! My baby is FINALLY sleeping through the night. It happened when I started my new job. Figures right? I guess he realized he didn't have a boob to wake up to. The other nice thing is that instead of crying when he wakes up, he just chats out loud and waits for us to come get him.

Breastfeeding: This kid is a boob addict. Sometimes I realize he nurses to comfort himself. Other times he really wants to nurse and sometimes I think he nurses out of boredom. He always wants to nurse when he sees me and before I leave for work. I think it's his way of saying hello and goodbye. The only issue I've had is that if he's napping with me and wants nurse, he uses me as a pacifier afterwards which is really annoying. I imagine weening is going to be a challenge. Earlier this week we started to give him organic milk before bedtime. It wasn't planned. I had a 6oz bottle of pumped milk that fell over and leaked out 4oz. I didn't have enough time to pump so we made the decision to give him some regular milk. He seemed to do well with it so we just continued for the rest of the week. I'm actually thrilled with this change. I HATE, let me repeat, HATE pumping. I did it for 11.5 months because it was important to me to give Preston breast milk but man, I won't miss that pump. I think with baby #2, I'll be better at managing my milk stash so that in the later months he can get frozen and I won't have to pump as much. However, I was horrible at rotating my freezer stash and ended up throwing away close to 250oz of milk bc it expired.

Walking: Preston isn't walking on his own yet but will walk with the assistance of someone's hand. For some reason walking cracks him up as he laughs hysterically when you walk him around the house.

Cute things: He loves to wave hello and goodbye very enthusiastically, I might add. He loves to take the remote control and prestend it's a phone by putting it to his ear and talking. He signs the word "more" but refuses to sign the word "milk" and instead just pulls my shirt down (yes, it's embarrassing in public). He says "uh-oh" when he drops things both accidentally and on purpose. He was saying mama and mom-mom the week of Valentine's but then stopped (sigh). He claps at anything that brings him joy. He gives the wettest open mouth kisses with his tounge sticking out. Climbing up the stairs is funny to him and he makes it up there pretty fast when you're not looking. He thinks playing tug-of-war with Gracie is hilarious and this seems to entertain him for a while until Gracie gets fed up and takes her toy away.

Upcoming events: My son is going to be 1 in 2 weeks. It's so hard to believe that the time has gone by so quickly. It's been an incredible year. I never knew a love like this. It's absolutely amazing.

Changes

2011-02-13T21:04:00.003-05:00

Gosh, lots of changes are going on around here. I received a promotion at work that allows me to be home with Preston during the day. I'll be working late evenings in to the early morning. The hours aren't glamourous by any means but as I mentioned, it allows me to spend lots of time with Preston during the day. It also means that I don't have to send him to daycare. However, with that said, we decided that we're going to send him once a week anyway just so that he can continue to have that connection and I can do errands baby-free.

It's going to be a fun challenge being a "stay at home mom." Tomorrow starts day 1.

ETA: Everyone's number one question is "when are you going to sleep?" It's a good question and something that I'm going to have to work out as I go along. Right now, Preston sleeps in until 8:30am when not disturbed for daycare. So I'll sleep when I get in until then. Then he takes a 3 hour nap from around 11am-2pm (today it was 11:45am-2:45pm) so I'll have an opportunity to sleep then as well as long as I remind myself to avoid using that time to do laundry, clean, etc. Then Danielle gets home at 2:45pm so I also have an opportunity to sleep anywhere from 3pm until I leave around 6pm. I'll get sleep but it will be broken which at this point in my life isn't that much different than when I worked 9a-5:30p. It will just happen at different times throughout the day. I know, I told you, the hours aren't glamourous but I really enjoyed spending time with Preston today and the increase in salary isn't bad as well. All I can envision is the spring/summer and spending time in the park, taking long walks, picnics, and the spray park.

9 months

2011-02-02T07:35:00.001-05:00

At 9 months of age Preston weighs 26 pounds and is 30 inches tall. He's between sizes 18-24 months and a 2T. A 3T if buying pajamas. I've noticed this month that he's losing his baby face and naturally you can tell he's getting older.

This has been a challenging month. Sleep continues to be our main issue. Being alone is another. I continue to work by trail and error only to have success for a day or two before regressing. I constantly remind myself that this has to be a phase (someone please assure me it's a phase). Because like everything else I remind myself that what was today's issue only becomes a distant memory.

Some milestones this month include adding ba ba to his vocabulary. I'm still dying to hear him say ma ma. He's incredibly adorable when it comes to practicing mama. He watches our lips with deep concentration and moves his own lips in an effort to say it but no sound comes out.

He's also become very aware of what you're feeding him and will peer in to the bowl and decide if he's going to open up his mouth for the next bite. Finger foods are just becoming fun, especially if it's fruit. Halved blueberries are a must have. Mangoes are good but a little slippery to pick up. He has no use for toast or bread though. Texturally, he hates having to chew. He would rather have his food very smooth.

Our boy loves to play. Especially with Gracie who is very gentle with him but at other times has no use for him and will take her toy and run. He loves to climb and "walk" if you hold his hands or he uses his walker. However, one if his favorite pastimes is people watching. Some call his nosey or nebby which is a Pittsburgh word. I say his is exploring his environment. Whatever it is, the kid is just freaken adorable and continues to light up my life.

Weight: 26 pounds
Length: 31 3/4 inches

I brought in a bowl of snow the other day after dinner. Here are a few pics. Clearly, he had no idea what to do with it at first.

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Cry or not to cry it out?

2011-01-22T20:16:00.002-05:00

Last week, during Preston's 9 month check up, his doctor spent some time giving us sleep advice. Preston, who was a great sleeper, has totally regressed. He pitches a fit and has a complete meltdown with snot and tears whenever he sees us leaving the room. Once upon a time, we could leave Preston fully awake in his crib and he would fall asleep without protest. He also started to wake up several times a night. The doctor we saw that day assured us that he should be sleeping through the night. He also strongly advocated the cry it out method, complete with handout. While crying it out didn't really gel with either of us, we listened to him, read his packet and decided to give it a while. Being a therapist, I completely understand behavior modification, conditioning, etc so it made sense that by going in whenever he started to pitch a fit just reinforced the behavior. But on the other hand I've spent the last 9 months creating this nurturing relationship that it seemed kind of harsh but I went along anyway.

Well lets just say, we're all still traumatized from trying it out. We did what the doctor instructed us to do... follow through with our usual routine: bath, nurse, story, and putting him in his crib. Allow him to cry for 2 minutes. Go in and reassure him that he was okay and then leave for the rest of the night. The poor kid was melting horribly. The wailing was insane. Three minutes after going in to check on him, we heard a loud thud, no crying, and then intense wailing. We rushed to his room to find that he had fallen out of his crib and was crawling towards the door trying to get to us. I will never forget that scene. He was a complete mess. Probably the worst I've ever seen him. Needless to say, we failed the challenge because we brought him to bed with us for the rest of the night.

The rest of the week was spent problem solving. By Thursday we remembered that we had a pack and play and set it up in our bedroom. I'm not sure if we are taking 3 steps back but it's working. Thursday, he woke up only once during the night and last night he slept the entire night. Maybe he just needs us close by right now. The goal is to get him to the point where he sleeps through the night (or waking up just once around around 5am) and then transition back to his room and hopefully back to his crib. The crib is on the lowest setting and right now, I'm just really apprehensive about placing him in it. The bruise on his face is a constant reminder and doesn't make me really eager to put him back. We actually placed him in the crib one evening and he attempted to get out again by swinging his arm over as though he was reaching for the floor. Luckily, we were there and intervened. but I suppose that's how he fell the first night. I also think that we tried to work on his sleep issues at the wrong time. We just got back from vacation 2 days prior to his 9 month check up. He had us 24/7 for 10 straight days. The only time I wasn't with him was for an hour on my birthday when I went to the casino on the cruise ship. He spent half of the cruise in the Ergo so it's not surprising that he developed some separation anxiety.

So for now, we will not be following the cry it out method. I'm not sure what I'm doing is the best thing for him overall but it feels right and I've parented so far by what feels right so we'll see.

Sleep

2011-01-08T13:01:00.001-05:00

Sleeping through the night was awesome but short lived. The following week Preston got sick and it went downhill from there. He still has a cold and we are leaving for our annual cruise vacation in the morning so I don't see sleeping through the night returning any time soon. It's not even sleeping through the night that's my issue as much as it's going to sleep.

We have a pretty set nighttime routine: pj's, nurse, story time, kiss, bed. However, as soon as he senses that we are getting close to the door he starts to cry and stands up. I lay him back down telling him it's bedtime and leave. This goes on for about 20 minutes. I remember the days where we could leave him in his cradle fully awake and it wouldn't phase him. Eventually he would go to sleep. Now, even if he is incredibly tired, he fights it.

My brother assures me that all night sleeping is around the corner and this will all be a distant memory.

When we return from vacation I'm determined to put a little more effort in to getting him to sleep and not taking the easy route by bringing him in to bed with us and nursing/cuddling him back to sleep.

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2011

2011-01-03T07:47:00.001-05:00

2010 was pretty amazing due to the birth of our son.

In 2011 I hope to:
- try running.
- if running takes off, try a 5k
- move
- buy a new car

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Merry Christmas

2010-12-24T09:53:00.001-05:00

Create your own free digital ecard

Emotional Ouch

2010-12-15T07:35:00.000-05:00

Last evening Preston went on strike and refused to nurse. After an hour of crying, screaming and refusing to go to bed despite being exhausted, Danielle handed him a bottle of pumped milk and he instantly went to sleep. So much for thinking he wasn't feeling well, had gas, or that I ate something that made my milk taste bad. To be totally honest, my feelings were hurt. It felt like utter rejection. Now while I know that my 8 month old doesn't have the capacity to be intentionally hurtful or be angry because I didn't make it to daycare at lunch to visit him like i usually do, or be upset at the memory or my stern voice the day before, man did it sting.

So I went to bed now eager to go in and console him at 2am and that little bugga didn't even wake up! He slept the ENTIRE night. I woke up at 6:15am to check on him and brought him to bed to nurse, which he did.

So he nursed while sleeping. Great right? No. To make things worse, I got my monthly breastfeeding newsletter email this morning and what was this months topic? Weaning.

I haven't really given weaning much thought. I just automatically assumed that we'd nurse until his first birthday. I know I'm jumping the gun. One evening of not nursing doesn't mean our breastfeeding relationship is coming to an end but I guess I have to consider it right? The thought makes me ill. Hopefully, it was just a fluke. I mean he exclusively breastfed our entire trip without any problems (we were just in Florida visiting grandparents). Last night was the first time he refused the breast.

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Ouch

2010-12-14T15:39:00.000-05:00

We are 36 weeks in to our breastfeeding relationship and it wouldn't be a relationship without a bump or two in the road right?

Last night Preston bit me twice while nursing. Both were towards the end when he was just grazing and playing. The first time I ignored it but removed him. The second time I told him "no" in a stern voice. Well talk about mommy guilt. He looked up at me with those bright brown eyes and his lip quivered. It was a look of surprise from the sound of my voice and hurt that I would use that voice and take the boob away. We went back to nursing a little later on with a better outcome. I'm not sure I'll ever forget that look.

The other bump has to do with Preston instituting a 2am feeding. If I go to his room to console him, he spits his binky out and wails louder and louder until I give in and nurse him. So tonight we are going to switch it up a bit and send Danielle in. I know he will fall asleep if she rubs his back or face.

Fingers crossed.
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Recommendations please

2010-12-06T10:50:00.000-05:00

We are going on our annual cruise next month. This time with Preston. I'm debating on whether to lug my full size stroller or invest in an umbrella stroller. My friend thinks we should buy a cheap $20 stroller but Danielle and I are both very tall and I refuse to be hunched over all week. So we're looking for a lightweight stroller that reclines and is ergonomically suitable for tall people. Any recommendations? I've heard great things about McClarens.

P.S. I'm also bringing my Ergo because we never leave home without it. It's an absolute life saver.

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Christmas Joy

2010-12-05T22:50:00.002-05:00

Ahhh, we are getting ready for Christmas. Unlike any other Christmas, this one is filled with buying toys, thinking about which family traditions we want to encorporate in to our own, taking pictures with Santa, and ordering photo christmas cards. It's very exciting.

We're leaving for Florida on Thursday to have an early Christmas with my parents. I'm looking forward to laying out in the sun. Christmas in Florida is always funny to me. Palm trees donned with christmas lights and not a flake in sight.

Last Night

2010-12-01T17:30:00.000-05:00

Yep, it's getting a little easier. Last night he didn't make it in to our bed not even once. I'm trying to work on nighttime feedings so that he only wakes up at 4am but I realize that with any new change comes a little disruption so for now it's up twice a night. Thank god for the cozy glider and soft warm blanket to get us through those middle of the night feedings.

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First night

2010-11-28T19:40:00.000-05:00

Attempt #2 went rather well. Preston woke up at 2am at which time Danielle brought him to our bed for me to nurse him. I contemplated keeping him there with us but decided that I needed to follow through with my plan so after nursing he went back to his crib. He woke again around 5am but drifted back off to sleep without any assistance. Then at 6am he woke up again so I brought him to bed knowing that the alarm would go off in 50 minutes. I'm quite proud of myself. In fact tonight doesn't seem as scary.

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Attempt #2

2010-11-28T00:03:00.001-05:00

Well it's 11:49pm and here I am awake in my bed. Preston is sleeping blissfully in his crib. It's cute to see him move around so much and the odd positions he ends up in. It's like he's discovered this new found freedom. I'll admit that I've already been in twice to check on him.

In my room it seems so very quiet. No soft baby breathing next to me. Just the ticking of the clock in his bedroom that I can hear on the monitor.

I can do this.

Yesterday, both Danielle and I were so Ill. I'm convinced it's from thanksgiving dinner but because Danielle's mother is the only other one to get sick, Danielle thinks it's a 24 hour bug. At any rate it was so bad that we had to call Danielle's sister to come watch the baby because neither one of us could function. Today we felt better but I'm left with a nasty cough which was another reason I gave attempt #2 a shot. I didn't want to keep him up with my coughing.

In 4 hours I can bring him to our room if needed. Some day this will be a funny distant memory.

Tomorrow is his christening. Pictures to follow.

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Attempt #1

2010-11-24T22:55:00.002-05:00

Failed. I'll try again tomorrow. Maybe with a little more effort this time.

My Dirty Little Secret

2010-11-22T21:34:00.003-05:00

Well it's not dirty per se, more like something I'm having a difficult time with and feel embarrassed about because my other mommy friends don't seem to have the same struggle that I do. I will preface this entire post by owning that this is my issue and not the baby's.

Preston has been sleeping in the cradle next to me for the past 7 months. I love having him close by and it's served it's purpose for breastfeeding easily during the night and being able to tend to his needs. I've never felt sleep deprived because it's been so easy to pull him in to bed with me and nurse while we are both half asleep. However, with much regret it has to come to an end and the thought of it literally makes me sick to my stomach and well up with tears.

To be completely honest, I don't want him to move out. I love having him close by. I don't want to get up at 4am and pad in to his room to nurse him. I want to remain cozied up in my warm bed with him just an arm length away. I don't want him to completely awaken because it takes me more time to realize he's crying in the next room. I don't want him to think that I've abandoned him (extreme, I know but honestly it goes through my head). I don't want to deal with sleeping with my door open because it's always freaked me out and I don't think I've ever slept with the door opened since I had control of it. I don't want to have to worry about someone breaking in to our home again and being paralyzed with fear and not being able to protect my son (yes, it was 3 years ago but it still triggers anxiety. Btw- the house is on the market). I want to know that if anything happens to him, I'm right there.

However, I know in my heart it's time to transition him (me? no him). He has a beautiful crib in his room that he's never slept a full night in. He takes naps in there and starts out each night in there until it's time for me to go to bed. However, the cradle next to my bed is only suppose to go up to 15 pounds and my son now weighs 23.7 pounds. Not only that, it's becoming a safety concern because this weekend he perfected his ability to pull to his feet. He doesn't try to stand in the cradle but he tries to sit up which could lead to him very easily tipping out of it. And lastly, my 7 month old is TALL. I noticed the other day that he's pretty much the entire length of the cradle.

So what to do, what to do? I've considered pulling him in to our queen sized bed with us but it's difficult to get a good night's sleep with him in there all night because he spreads out and Danielle and I are plastered to the edge of the bed so not to impose on his space. It's funny to think about a 7 month old taking over!!! I've also considered buying an Arms Reach bed which I could kick myself for not doing in the first place because then I wouldn't have to address this issue for a few more months. But to spend that money for a few more months doesn't make much sense. I've considered bringing his pack and play in to our room but I'm not convinced that would make for a comfortable overnight sleeping space for him. I hate putting him in it for even a short nap. So I'm going to relent and admit that it's time for him to move in to his own room.

I don't want to I tell you. I feel like kicking and screaming. I've been reading Dr. Sears book on Attachment Parenting. He 100% endorses co-sleeping. However, they talk about the possibility of cosleeping with kids until age 4. I was thinking maybe 1 with Preston (age 4 is a bit of a stretch for me). I was hoping they would talk about transitioning (maybe in hopes of validating my feelings) but what they wrote didn't feel relevant to me. I've read both in Dr. Sears book and elsewhere that a reason working full time moms enjoy co sleeping or having their baby close by at night is because it's a way for them to bond over the missed hours during the day while mom was at work and baby at daycare. I totally subscribe to that thought.

So I'm coming up with my own game plan. I ran it past Danielle, and while she said she'd support me on it, I think she thinks I'm a lunatic.

Game plan A: this week is a short work week. Starting Wednesday night I will put Preston in to his crib at his usual bedtime. Nurse and change him when it's time for me to go to bed and put him back in his crib. At 4am when he wakes up to nurse, retrieve him from his crib and bring him back to our bed as usual until the morning. Once he stops with the 4am feeding (an entire post by itself) leave him in his room until the morning.

Game plan B: starting Wednesday, put him in his crib at night. I sleep in his room on the aero bed and work my way out of his room over the following few days (weeks? j/k. maybe).

I'm wondering if this is going to be much easier than anticipated. Maybe the thought just seems more anxiety provoking than the actual action. I remember when Preston was a few months old, I couldn't bare the thought of leaving him. However, a friend, encouraged me to have a date night with Danielle for a few hours. The idea seemed so difficult but I forced myself to do it, discussing my feelings with Danielle and once we were out, we had a blast.

Dang, who knew it would be so. Honestly, if you had asked me about this when I was pregnant I would have laughed so hard. My initial plan was to have him in our room for about 3 months and then transition.

Playdate

2010-11-21T12:17:00.004-05:00

Weekends are now my favorite part of the week. Yes, there are obvious reasons like no work. But in our house, it's Family Time. We usually have something fun planned out in the community and then on some days, nothing but reading, playing, and cuddling at home.

Yesterday, Preston "hosted" his first play date with some of his friends at My Little Outback. It's an indoor space that caters to children ages 6 months to 6 years old. They have a sectioned off space for babies which is awesome. Our group kind of took over the space and the boys really dominated with soon to be 8 month old twin boys, Pleasantlyfurious and her 6 month old son Leo, Preston, my friend Shirley and her 18 month old son Harry, my new friend Sheena and her 11 month old son, and finally we had my friend and her 10 month old daughter. I won't post pics of all of the children because I didn't obtain permission, but here are a few of Preston, Leo and Harry.

Homemade Baby Food Pitch

2010-11-21T11:45:00.003-05:00

I'm not one to usually impose my practices on others. However, if you are considering making your own baby food, give it a try. When people find out that I make Preston's food, it's usually followed by a look. If I told people I made my 2 or 5 year old's meal, they wouldn't bat an eye so what's the big hold up that I make my 7 month old son's food? Why is it viewed better that I buy him jarred food vs making my own when it isn't a hardship? I think people feel it's an elitist thing to do in the sense that you feel jarred food isn't good enough or you're striving to be a super mom. However, there are so many perks to making your own food. For one- it's incredibly cheap. I'm not sure of the going rate of jarred food but lets say it's 2 for $1 and you are feeding your baby 3 times a day, that's $1.50 if you're just using one jar per meal. While $1.50 isn't a lot of money, check this out... this week, sweet potatoes, which is one of my son's favorite meals, are on sale for 2 pounds for $1.00. Let's just say you get 5 sweet potatoes in those two pounds. Once you put them in the oven and put them in the food processor and in ice-cube trays, you have 24-36 cubes of food if not more. Each cube is about 1 ounce. Preston only eats one cube but even if your child eats two, you still have 12-18 meals for less than 9 cents a meal. Consider then when you buy a bunch of banana's for 60 cents, a bunch of spinach for $2.00, a bag of carrots for $.99, a butternut squash for $2.50, several apples for $2.50, and or mangos for $1.50 (my son loves mangos), if these are fruits and veggies you are already buying for your family, why not buy an extra one and get several meals for your child?

Another perk of making your own food is that you know and control what's going in it.

I'm working really hard on going partially organic in our home. It's difficult at times because I have to hike it to Whole Foods to shop easily for fresh produce vs figuring it out at my local grocery store who doesn't carry many options due to low demand. However, even if you don't go organic, making your own baby food is still a great alternative, it's fun and it's rewarding. I love the look on my son's face when I see him enjoying the fruit of my labor.

Lately, we've been working on combinations. Last week I made berry and apples. He absolutely loved them. I also mixed Spinach and apples. Cooked apples with a pinch of cinnamon smells heavenily and Preston gobbles it up. They also freeze really well in the ice cube trays along with the other produce I've mentioned (with the exception of bananas). I tried to introduce ground chicken and he's lukewarm about it so I'm thinking about combining it with butternut squash.

In two weeks we are going to Florida to have an early Christmas with my parents. I'm really excited for the new foods he'll try there. My parents grow a lot of fruits and vegetables so it will be neat to have truly organic produce. I love visiting my parents because they make all of my favorite foods and it will be nice to share one of them in particular with Preston. There's a hot cereal Jamaicans make called cornmeal porridge. It's one of my favorite things to eat. I think this visit will be an educational one for me because I want to learn how to make certain things so I can make them for him.

Oh and just one more thing... yesterday we traveled with homemade baby food to our play date and it was incredibly easy. I just carried it in the little diaper bag cooler with a spoon and it was great. I have one of these and a batch of these.

I Love....

2010-11-21T11:32:00.003-05:00

I love:

being a mom
breastfeeding my son
taking care of him
reading to him
watching him work on his new skills
his beautiful eyes and wide mouth smile
making his baby food
watching him take in new surroundings. He just quietly sits for 5-10 minutes looking around
seeing him try new foods. He makes a funny face and then opens up for more and more
hearing him squeal
his wet attempts to give kisses.
the way he manages to scoot super close in bed so that you can feel his breath on you
the way his face lights up when he sees me enter the room
the way my heart feels when I see him

I absolutely love being a mom.

Halloween

2010-11-07T22:57:00.000-05:00

Crawling

2010-11-07T21:31:00.000-05:00

Preston started to crawl last two Wednesdays ago. At lunch he was scooting and then 4 hours later when it was time to pick him up, he was crawling. I wanted to upload a video but it won't load (maybe it's too big).

Now that he can crawl he likes to exert his independence and will let you know if you are getting in the way of that. For example, in the morning, he generally hangs out in his room playing while we finish up and get bags together, etc. Well playing is not good enough these days, because he crawls to the baby gate, holds on to the bars, and whines for you come get him.

He is working on speed and in the meantime it seems to frustrate him when he can't get to me fast enough. It so cute and pitiful to watch.

In other news, Preston's come down with his first ear infection. Mommy guilt experience #26 occurred around this. About two weeks ago, I noticed that his left ear was kind of crusty. I wondered if milk had somehow dribbled down his chin while nursing and caused it. A few days later he felt warm but I gave him a bit of Tylenol and just kept an eye on him. His temp went down and he continued to be his bright, bubbly, happy self. Well the other day I noticed his ear again but this time there was a crapload of goo coming out of it. I read up in my baby book and concluded that it was a ruptured eardrum from an untreated ear infection. We went to the doctor the following morning who confirmed that this was the case and prescribed ear drops and antibiotics. The poor little lovie. I feel bad for not catching this earlier but the rational side of me knows that I did what I could when it was apparent.

Art project

2010-11-02T10:06:00.000-04:00

Here's a picture of Preston's first art project done at daycare. It's titled "pumpkins"...

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Just being silly is fun

2010-11-01T21:27:00.002-04:00

6 months

2010-10-23T02:26:00.000-04:00

Preston is growing leaps and bounds. For his six month check up he weighed in at 21 lbs, 14 oz. He's now 28 inches long and last week we bought him a pair of size 4 shoes. The sales associate assured us that we were in for trouble. Even though he's still big for his age, his weight has slowed down considerably so maybe he can stay in his 12-18 month clothing for the entire winter.

New skills this month include rocking on all fours and getting around in a caterpillar like fashion. It's not a fluid motion but it gets him from point a to b. Other skills include trying to feed himself with a spoon and responding to our comings and goings. He gives this killer smile and a chuckle when we come to pick him up from daycare. It just melts your heart.

Over this past week his appetite for solids has grown. He likes yams, mashed potatoes, blueberries, and acorn sqaush. He doesn't care for peas and is lukewarm about bananas. With solids comes a change in poop. Yes, I went there. I miss breastfeeding poop for both the consistency and smell. His new poop is foul and difficult to clean. It's also causing redness.

Weekdays are incredibly overwhelming that I find myself longing for the weekend to just rest more than anything. I'm trying to figure out what could make it easier and the only thing I can think of is a housekeeper. A good friend of mine has one and finds her indispensable. Not only does she clean their apartment but she also does their laundry AND puts it away. God, the jealousy is immeasurable.

I'll figure something out in the meantime. What works for you guys?

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25 Weeks

2010-10-06T21:36:00.000-04:00

Drive by posting:

Preston was diagnosed with broncholitis two weeks ago. It's an infection of the lung's airway. He was prescribed breathing treatments from Thursday to Sunday which seemed to help. Seeing your child sick is so sad. It really triggered memories of being in the NICU. He still has cold like symptoms but his breathing has improved.

I've started to make Preston's baby food. It's really fun and incredibly easy, not to mention really cost effective. For about a $1 per fruit or vegetable, I'm able to get several meals (cubes). We haven't ventured into combos yet because we're still making sure he doesn't have any allergies to common fruits and veggies. However, he seems really lukewarm about solids at this point. He'll take a few bite and then resist the rest by blowing raspberries. I don't push the issue so we generally just end it at that point. But so far he's tried peas, sweet potatoes (seems to be his favorite), avocado, peaches, banana, and acorn squash.
Our breastfeeding relationship is still going strong. It's interesting to see how Preston now noticeably uses nursing for both nourishment as well as comfort. He's generally a really happy baby but if he gets worked up for some reason (dreaded car rides) nursing will calm him. Even though I can tell when he wants to nurse, I'm trying to teach him the sign for milk. Right now, he just throws his body back and paws at my breasts/shirt until it's available to him. Apparently, I'm not fast enough for Preston. What a demanding kiddo!
Other signs that we are going to teach him include mom, eat, more, and sleep. On one hand I can see the use for these signs but on the other hand I feel like I'm pretty aware of his needs such as when he wants to eat and when he's tired and wants to go off to sleep. I wonder if they will become more useful in a few months as he gets older.
We go in and out of teething hell. Last week, he woke up several times per night and could only be soothed by nursing or gnawing on my finger. Let's just say, I was very tired last week. However, we seem to be back on schedule. His gums are swollen, a sign that teeth are coming but none have sprouted yet.
Preston continues to amaze me with his skills. He can scoot backwards and is circles. He rocks on his hands and knees but isn't able to move forward the way he wants to. He can sit effortlessly on his own which is awesome because I can put a toy in front of him while I get dinner started.
His smile is infectious. He is so aware of our voice and face and lights up when he sees that we've entered the room. One of his daycare teachers said that when he hears our voices in the hallway when we pick him up in the evening, he gets excited and smiles. For some reason, it just melts my heart.
Until next time...

Getting ready for church.

Breast milk popsicles are a big hit with Preston. Simply freeze breast milk in ice cube trays. Then put a cube is a sassy mesh feeder and there you go. He really enjoys it during the day to ease the pain of his gums.

Preston eats cereal for the first time

2010-09-19T13:06:00.002-04:00

First illness

2010-09-17T22:48:00.003-04:00

Mama took the day off from work yesterday to snuggle with me. We had a great day despite my 103.1 temp. It was so nice to take naps together with me tucked away in her arms and unlimited access to nursing. I know my mama was worried about me becoming dehydrated and going back to the NICU. As great as those nurses were, my mama never wants to go there again.

The doctor said it's viral and I most likely picked something up from daycare. You see, I'm teething now and I put everything and anything in my mouth, including trying to put Gracie in my mouth. She's just so cute and fluffy, I couldn't resist. She said because of the broken skin from teething, I'm more prone to picking something up. No worries though because I feel much better. I think it was all that snuggling. Mama said I was such a trooper because I wasn't fussy at all.

The only downside is that I got my first diaper rash. It's from all of the poop. The doctor warned that this would happen. But the upside is this just means I get more "naked hiney time." Not to brag, but I have a cute little tush!

Preston heads to NYC

2010-09-12T22:35:00.006-04:00

This weekend we went to The Big Apple to visit some friends. Being in NYC is awesome. There's just something really exciting about the noise, the people, the culture, etc. Our day started very early in the morning with a walk around Central Park. I recently read And Tango Makes Three to Preston so we had to go to the Central Park Zoo to "see" Silo, Roy, and Tango. Afterwards we had a lovely picnic in the park before heading off to FAO Schwartz for a new toy. Talk about an intense but fun place to shop.

Later we met up with my friend Brad. Once upon a time in Grad School, Brad and I were thick as thieves. We have some good memories of livin' it up in our 20's. Everytime I visit him we always end up somewhere fun. This time around we ended up at The Park to eat dinner. We sat in their lovely outdoor garden and I enjoyed a lovely glass of mint lemonade and a steak salad. We stopped off in Chelsea Market to have what has to be THE BEST hot chocolate I've ever had in my entire life. Brad, best described it as a melted chocolate bar. It was so rich and velvety. OMG, I'd love to have another cup right now. The night ended at my favorite bakery in the whole wide world, Rocco's. Honestly, going to this bakery was one of the highlights of my trip. They have the most amazing cannoli's.

We went back to Long Island to stay with Dina. Last year she bought a beautiful little home. It was fun to just kick back around the firepit and enjoy the crisp air. The following day we went to Cedar Beach which is a really rocky beach on the north shore of Long Island. We also went to Port Jefferson which is a cute boating area with lots of shops, places to eat, etc. All in all, we had a great time.

Preston, as always, was such a little sweetheart and did really well traveling. Although I can't see any signs of teeth emerging, he is teething and seems to be handling it really well so far. As long as he can put something in his mouth, he's good to go. I'm considering making breastmilk ice-pops for him in ice trays and putting it on that mesh feeder. Any thoughts or ideas on what helped your little ones? He can also sit up on his own now which is really amazing. It feels like just the other day we were celebrating the fact that he could roll over.

19 Weeks

2010-08-22T21:04:00.002-04:00

What a cool time in my life.

I am so interested in the world around me. I just sit and watch everything because it's all so fascinating. Simple things like trees swaying in the wind or cars driving up the street intrigue me. Because of this, Mama lets me face forward in my stroller.
I outgrew the car seat that came with my stroller so Mama and I went car seat shopping last week and then today she bought the new Britax that just came out.
We also test drove some high chairs but we haven't decided on one that we like. I want Mama to decide soon though because I like sitting at the dinner table with them but right now I'm in the Bumbo on the floor and let's face it, that's no fun.
I can roll from my back to stomach with ease. Now, I just have to work on going the other way.
I enjoy my exersaucer.
I hate my swing
I like to turn the pages to my story books.
Mama calls me a wiggle worm because I'm incredibly active these days.

The Baby Milestone Police Really Don't Exist

2010-08-22T20:18:00.004-04:00

Didn't I just post about being confident in my decisions? Well for a day or two, I actually lost my mind a little. I read 2-3 different things that said Preston should be sleeping through the night (which he does by their standards) but if he wakes up, he should be encouraged to self soothe himself back to sleep rather than being fed. So despite being absolutely okay with our current routine, I got myself in a tizzy because when Preston wakes up after 6-7 hours of solid sleep, I pull him in to bed with me when he starts to stir and nurse him. Keep in mind, that he never fully awakens and neither do I. Did I mention that this routine works really well for us?

So why, I felt the need to conform to the practices suggested in these articles is beyond me. Where was my confidence? I told you I lost my mind a little because that night Preston woke up around 4am and I gave him his pacifier and rocked him in his cradle. Well that clearly wasn't working because within less than 5 minutes, he's fully awake and crying and I'm fully awake and not happy. In the end, I said "to hell with this," pull him in to bed and nurse him. It was evident that the boy was hungry. He wasn't comfort sucking, he was clearly filling his tummy. As I drifted back to sleep, the words that I tell myself all the time came to me clear as day: "you have to do what feels right for you and your child." So screw the articles, we're going back to what works for us. Sometimes I have to remind myself that the baby milestone police really don't exist. So if he doesn't self soothe himself back to sleep at 4 1/2 months, that's quite alright.

Yum

2010-08-17T20:30:00.001-04:00

I'm putting the yum in yummy mummy. Similar to Justin bringing sexy back. This morning I reached my second weight goal. It's ironic how the pounds are melting off effortlessly but when I tried to lose weight it was a challenge. Thank you breastfeeding!!!!!

I havent decided my min weight but i think it's no more than 8-15 more pounds. So with 47 pounds down, yep, I'm going to rock on with my bad self.

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Confidence

2010-08-09T21:04:00.002-04:00

Honestly!!! I don't know why people get their knickers in a twist about the decisions I make for my child. If they were poor decisions, I could kind of see where they were coming from but they're not. I swear, if I didn't have confidence in my decisions, I could easily feel like a crappy parent.

From the early weeks of Preston's existence there has been this push, nag, if you will about giving Preston cereal. I would say that this all started around 5 weeks of age. I was adamant that this was not going to happen that early on. I've never once complained about breastfeeding my son or waking up in the middle of the night to feed him. Some people come from the school of thought that feeding them cereal at night in their bottle is the way to go. I do not attend classes at that school. Nor do I attend classes at the school where because so and so's mama did it, then you should do it too.

I have a friend who has been on my case about giving Preston cereal. I told her that at 4 months we would revisit the idea. Well during the 4 month check up, the doctor said I could continue to exclusively breastfeed Preston and revisit it over the next two months, keeping an eye out for cues that Preston may be ready. Clearly, my son is not underweight or malnourished. Well today I got an email from my friend saying in two days Preston is due to start cereal. When I told her our decision to hold off, she let loose on me saying I was depriving my son. She told me that I had promised her and Preston this (no, no, I don't think I did), and that she hopes that he doesn't seem satisfied by my breast milk and cries to be fed (cereal). Who says that to someone? And more importantly, why? I find it all quite peculiar and I'm still trying to understand how starting my son on cereal affects her directly or indirectly for that matter.

Is this what seasoned moms do to each other? Bully other moms in to conforming to their ways? Where is the respect for each other that says "I know you are a mom, you love your child and you are doing what you feel is right for your child. And while that may not be what I chose to do for my child, the decision is entirely yours." Yes, I'm a semi crunchy yummy mummy. Yes, I cloth diaper, exclusively breastfeed, plan to make my own baby food, co-sleep half of the night because we both fall asleep while breastfeeding at his 4am feeding, wear my child when we go out sometimes instead of using a stroller but dear god, I'm in no way putting my child's health in jeopardy. Her comments really struck me today. I am 100% confident with the decisions I make but I think if I didn't have the ego strength to support that, she could have easily crushed me. So what's the take away? Respect each other as moms.

Here's a pic of my little sunshine at the park yesterday:

August 5th

2010-08-05T23:11:00.000-04:00

A year ago today my wish came true. My life changed forever. Those beautiful two lines that I prayed to see for two long years showed up on a simple plastic stick. It was at that moment that I learned I was going to become a mom.

I remember how excited and surprised I felt. I also remember how scared I was because how after so many tries, failed iui's, failed fertility drugs, was I pregnant? Surely, the other shoe would drop.

But a few hours later we saw a speck on the screen that assured us the universe had kissed me gently. So I suppose August 5th will always be a special day for me.

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4 months

2010-08-03T21:53:00.000-04:00

I'm 16 weeks old now. Mama says I'm growing up too fast. Sometimes she shows me pictures of when I was only a few days/weeks old. I was pretty skinny back then. Nothing like the big boy I am today.

I had my 4 month check up today. I now weigh 19lbs, 8oz and I'm 27 inches long. Since birth Ive gained over 7 pounds and grown 6 inches. The doctor said I'm off the charts. There was a little panic on mama's face but the doctor reassured her that I was just fine and proportionate for my height and weight. I'm in 9-12 month clothing, medium in cloth diapers and size 3 in disposible diapers. The doctor said it's normal for ebf babies to grow fast the first few months and then thin out.

Talking about being exclusively breastfed, I love my mama's milk. Not only does it make me big and strong but it also makes me feel better when I need comforted like today after my shots. Because I'm growing so well my mommies decided to hold off on cereal for a few more weeks unless I show them that mama's milk isn't filling me enough.

So until next time....
Me at the beginning of my appointment. Mama warned me that I was getting shots but I thought if I flirted with the nurse she would forget.

No such luck. This is me after getting my shots (see how red my face was). I got lots of cuddling when I got home and took a really long nap. I feel much better now.

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Preparing for Cereal/Solids

2010-07-28T22:39:00.002-04:00

I'm not in a rush to start cereal or solids but I like being prepared. As you can see, Preston is doing rather well on breastmilk alone. But in a few weeks/months I'll start to introduce some cereal and solids. There are so many products out there for solids and I'm just wondering what's your favorite plate, bowl, spoon, high chair, food storage container, recipe book, or gadget? I already have the food processor picked out and I know I need to pick up a steaming basket. What else do I need? A friend of mine uses this bowl with her daughter and really likes it. I also like this bowl.

What cool products are out there that I'm missing?

Roll Over

2010-07-28T22:37:00.002-04:00

Preston rolled over from his back to his tummy today. It wasn't a fluke because he did it five times. He is still having trouble figuring what to do with the arm that is on the side he's rolling to but he manages after a while. Can't wait to capture it on video.

LA or Bust

2010-07-25T22:17:00.002-04:00

We placed our house on the market last week and had our first viewing today. Although I would love to unload this house fast, I'm aware of the market and our crap neighborhood so it may take a while. We've received a lot of negativity about moving. Yes, I know L.A. has a crap job market, yes I know the cost of living is high, yes I know there are earthquakes and wild fires...I know already! However, I've been dying to live there for a while. We know we can easily afford to live in Pittsburgh and if we want to return we can. However, we don't need to commit to settling down long term until Preston reaches school age. So L.A. here we come (at some point).

Week 14

2010-07-25T21:02:00.001-04:00

This was a very exciting week for me. Mama took the morning and early afternoon off one day and we went to the library for baby and me time. I love bouncing around and dancing to the songs. Mama teaches mommy the songs when we get home and sometimes we have silly time and sing the reggae, rock, country and techno versions.

Now that I'm older I'm really interested in the other boys and girls and I stay awake the entire time.

Mama noticed that I'm really into grabbing things so this weekend she surprised me with TOYS!!!!!!
I got a spinning toy that doesn't travel well in the car because the bumps make it sing. I also got some refrigerated teething rings because I love putting things in my mouth and I also got some oval rings to extend the length on some of my car seat toys. But you'll never guess the biggest toy that I got. Give up? It's an exersaucer. Mama's book club friends bought it for me when I was in mama's tummy but today mama took it out of the box and put it together. Both of my moms were a little surprised with the amount of toys that came with it and said it's oversimulating. No wait, I mean overstimulating. I'm not sure what that means but all I know is that mama removed the overhead bar that had toys and said she would put it back in a few weeks. I like this toy but by the time it was put together it was time to wind down for bed so I was a little cranky after about five minutes. It says it's for 4 month olds so maybe we will hold off for a while.

Anyway, it's past my bedtime. Time to nurse and then off to bed I go. I have daycare in the morning so I need lots of rest. The girls hound me at daycare!!!! I like when Gabriel is there cause then I have another boy to play with.

Excuse the weird eyes.

Week 13

2010-07-18T22:06:00.000-04:00

I'm soooooooo drooly these days. I can't help it though. I give my mommies my million watt smile and it just comes out. I suck on my hands and tons of it escapes my mouth.

Teetering Along

2010-07-15T21:52:00.003-04:00

I'm on the teeter totter of creating some balance. This week started out in tears and is ending with, well less tears. So we are making progress yea? My impatience doesn't allow me see that "it" will get easier. It feels like the opposite. It feels like it's getting harder. I've been in my head all week trying to figure out how I can make this work. I thought about working 2 evenings a week so I could spend the day with him. Unfortunately, Preston can't go to daycare part time or else he will either lose his spot or I will have to pay full time tuition for part time care.

I stumbled on a small solution on Monday when I forgot my pump parts at home. Instead of running home to get them, I decided to go see Preston at daycare and nurse him. I can't explain how this brightened my day. So now I know that if I'm really missing him, I can just simply go see him. My other small solution was every once in a while to work an evening which will allow me to spend the day with him. We are testing it out next Thursday. You don't know how excited I am about it. I think we'll go to Baby and Me at the library like we did during maternity leave and then go to the park and enjoy the weather and some books. I'm sure playing hooky is not in the How to be a Great Parent Handbook but oh well, I'll deal with that guilt later.

Week 11 and 12

2010-07-09T23:50:00.002-04:00

My mom ain't kidding when she says I grow like a weed. She put me on my baby scale and I'm over 17 pounds. Let me just remind you that I'm only 3 months old. I'm the same size as some of the 6 month old girls in my daycare room. I'm sporting 6-12mo and 9mo clothing. In case you missed it earlier, I'm only 3 months old!!!!

Daycare is going well. I'm one of two boys in my room and the four other girls really dig me. When I come in in the morning, they stop chewing on their books and toys to check me out. One little girl L. really digs me. My mom thinks she's a cutie because she looks like a little doll. However, I'm too young for girls so I just enjoy hanging with them for storytime and tummy time. My mommy really like my afternoon daycare teacher. I don't think she even clears 5 feet and when she holds me, my mommy jokes that we're almost the same size. She's really grandma like with white hair, a tiny voice, and gentle ways. I really like her too. My morning teacher is awesome. She too is a grandma and gets us all moving in the morning with stretching our legs and arms, tummy time, reading, and playing. I'm never left in my rocker or crib for too long outside of naps. And to boot, they are also really cool about cloth diapering me.

Speaking about cloth diapers, I think my mom has developed an addiction to buying them and asking Nana to sew more. Nana's awesome and sent some 4th of July dipes in the mail last week. I'm cloth diapered pretty much 95% of the time now and only wear a sposie to bed.

At home, Mama puts me in my bumbo seat every once in a while but I can only tolerate it for about 5 minutes. I've almost outgrown my swing. I know both my moms were hoping to get more use out of it, but I'm a growing boy (remember 17 pounds, 3 months old). I really enjoy my Ergo carrier though. I love snuggling up to mama and enjoying some aromatherapy with the smell of breastmilk. It usually lulls me to sleep within 5 minutes.

I'm squealing and smiling a lot now. This always brings a smile to my mommy's face (you know, I do what I can do to make their day).

Well that's it until next week.

Gracie loves hanging out with me.

Mama and I at 4th of July event.

Mommy and I.

Thanks nana for the new dipe.

Searching for Balance

2010-07-09T23:22:00.003-04:00

I'm having a terrible and I mean terrible time transitioning back to work. I'm sleep deprived for the first time since giving birth but I'm even more consumed with guilt because the time I spend with Preston each day has dramatically decreased. I'm really mourning the days of my maternity leave. I'm not sure how to balance being a mom, going back to work full time, handling the day to day activities, in addition to preparing dinner and getting us ready for the next day. I'm utterly exhausted by the time I get home from work that sometimes I have to work really hard at mustering up the energy to play, sing, and read to my baby and if I'm honest, there have been days where we only get one book in and some snuggling time before he's off to bed.

Preston wants to be nursed as soon as we get home. Seeing him at the end of my work day and sitting to nurse him is a true joy. But after that, it's off to wash diapers, bottles, make bottles for the next day, storing pumped milk, making dinner, getting lunch and clothes ready for the next day. Preston enjoys being toted around in the Ergo while I do some of these things. He looks around for a while and then snuggles in and goes off to sleep. Daycare really tuckers him out and shortly after we get home he's asleep for the night. I feel like I get 1 quality hour with him after work and 30 minutes of that is from nursing. Something has to give.

I really want to be a stay at home mom but it's not an option so I need to stop wishing and hoping for it and problem solve through my current situation. I feel guilty that he's at daycare from 8:30am-5:45pm Mon-Fri. I feel guilty that he's the last kiddo to be picked up in his classroom because I work 8.5 hour days. I'm jealous that his daycare teachers, as wonderful as they are, get to spend more quality time with him than I do during the day. I miss him during the day and I have to will myself not to cry at work. I've considered working evenings so I can be home with him during the morning and day. It would save money on daycare which isn't really an issue (quality time is) but then it would be like playing tag with Danielle and we wouldn't see each other until the weekend. I waited so long to be a mom and now I feel like we're being cheated. Does it get any easier?

Too cool

2010-07-01T15:54:00.000-04:00

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First day of daycare

2010-07-01T15:52:00.000-04:00

We, okay, I made it through the first day of daycare yesterday. I stayed for about 3 hours to see what their morning looked like. I also spent some time showing his teacher how to use the cloth diapers, the wetbag, reviewed his likes (swaddled to sleep), put away his stuff in his cubbie, and taped a pic of Danielle and I to the inside foot of his crib (suggested by my friend's husband).

By 11:30am I was ready to transition and went to get my hair cut by a scissor happy stylist. It's shorter than expected but I still like it.

Picking Preston up from daycare is definitely the highlight of my day.

And so as I transition from being a SAHM on maternity leave to a full time work outside of the home mom, I think we will be okay.

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Week 10

2010-06-26T19:55:00.003-04:00

We've decided to let "Preston" write his weekly updates from here on out.

I'm becoming a seasoned traveler. My mommy (Danielle) jokes that she didn't leave Pittsburgh until she was 19 years old and here I am, 2 months old, and already I'm traveling here and there, flying on planes and staying in hotels. This week I went to Washington DC to see my godmother and then a day later I took my first airplane ride to visit Nana and Grandpa. Mama said that I was the best little boy ever because I did so well on both trips. You should have seen my mama working all of our gear by herself like a pro. She had me in my Ergo while we went through security and on to the plane so that her hands were free to carry our suitcase and diaper bag. I think people were quite impressed with how she was able to handle everything and if they weren't, well I was. I slept most of the time, because lets face it, I love being in the Ergo snuggled close to mama or in her arms. She nursed me during take off and landing to help prevent my ears from popping.

I had so much fun at Nana's and Grandpa's. My mother's cousin's 7 year old daughter was there for the summer and we went to the beach for my very first time. The warm water felt great crashing on my skin. Grandpa even took me and my cousin to the park one evening when the sun started to set. It was 100 degrees one day- yikes! Nana is awesome. She made all of mama's favorite foods and showed mama how to sew paci clips for me. Nana even made me a new wetbag for daycare and some new diapers. I can't wait to go back.

Milestones:
- I've started to take a pacifier. I would much rather use mom as a paci but she said she won't be there with me at daycare so there are times I will have to rely on the paci to help me sleep and soothe.
- I'm losing some hair on the side of my head. I'm still a stud muffin though.
- I can hold upper chest and head up for a long period of time when I'm on my tummy.
- I can use my legs to "stand" when held in that position.
- I'm growing out of my small cloth diapers.
- I consistently smile in response to others smiling and talking to me.
- I know how to bring things to my mouth and love to suck on my hands.

Week 9

2010-06-22T22:38:00.002-04:00

This week brought about envy and other conflicting feelings. I've met some other new moms during my maternity leave. We've met for music time at the library followed by lunch, frozen yogurt, jaunts at the zoo or picnics in the park. It's been great. However, I'm reminded that this will not last and soon I'll return to work while some of my new found friends will remain home with their babies. On the one hand I know I will be grateful for the intellectual stimulation work brings. But on the other hand I desperately long to be home with my son.

Unfortunately, being a SAHM is not an option for me. However, working different hours is. Working the evenings 3:30pm to midnight would allow me to be home during the day with him but then it takes me away from my Danielle. Working 9am to 5:30pm as I am now allows me to be home in the evening with everyone but not spend as much quality time with Preston as I would like. How do you 9-5pm moms feel? Do you feel cheated by the small amount of time you get with your child during the week? Maybe this is just my anxiety about returning to work and separating from him. However, I am annoyed that a lot of enrichment activities are limited to morning and afternoon hours such as diaper gym, baby lapsit, swimming lessons, etc.

We had another exciting road trip this past weekend. This time we drove to Washington DC to visit Preston's godmother and her mother. I haven't partied like that in a long time and my body reminded me of that the following day.

And as always I'll leave you with a picture of my little stud muffin from last week's photo shoot.

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8 Weeks

2010-06-14T14:37:00.003-04:00

My darling SugarPlum survived his first round of vaccinations. He was fussy in the evening and insisted on being cuddled while he slept. Of course, I eagerly obliged as cuddling him is one of my favorite past times. By 8pm he woke up and was back to his bright, bubbly self.

I feel like I write this every week, but he is truly growing like a weed. At his 8 week check up, my beautiful baby weighed in at 14 pounds, 12 ounces and is 24 3/4 inches long. He easily fits in to 3-6mo clothing and has grown out of his newborn prefold diapers. I remember not too long ago he had plenty of space to stretch out when we breastfed in the nursery rocker. Now, we have to find somewhere to put his legs and keep him comfortable. I can only imagine the scene when he's like 5 months old and still breastfeeding.

Speaking of breastfeeding, it is going unbelievably well. Preston is going about 3 hours now in between feedings and wakes up once between 10:30pm and 6am to eat which we both do half asleep while laying in bed. We are not starting solids for a while but I've already researched the food processor that I want and I'm excited to make his own baby food.

In other news this week also brought about Preston's first road trip. We went to visit my brother and family in Ohio. The little ones had a photo shoot which went incredibly well. It's very easy to get suckered in to buying lots of pictures. The kiddos had a great time, especially my 5 year old niece who hammed it up for the camera. However, note to self about going away for the weekend... ALWAYS remember to pack a pump, even if it's your manual pump. I woke up so engorged on Sunday and hand expressing helped but is not nearly as powerful as a pump.

We are gearing up for another road trip this weekend to DC to visit Preston's godmother and attend her mother's 55th birthday party. We've been looking forward to this road trip for a while. I hope Preston does well with this trip as well. The hardest part of a road trip with an infant is not being able to pick them up out of their car seat and hold them when they cry.

And as always, here's a picture of the little tyke:

7 Weeks

2010-06-07T09:49:00.003-04:00

The reality of going back to work set in when I wrote the check for daycare. Preston starts Wednesday, June 30th and I go back to work July 1st. I'll spend the day with him at daycare that Wednesday to see what his day is comprised of, help the daycare workers learn his needs, and lets be honest... help me deal with my own issues of placing him in daycare and being away from him. I'm sure I'll be a mess at work on July 1st.

I was advised to go back to work on a Thursday or Friday to ease back in to the work week. That way I'll have the weekend to recuperate physically and emotionally with my baby and then start a full week the following week. Luckily for me, I have a 3 day weekend (4th of July) to recuperate.

On the agenda for week 8: Pediatric appointment with shots, first road trip- going to Ohio to visit my nieces and get professional pictures taken with them, and establish a nighttime routine. Preston's silly face.

6 Weeks

2010-05-25T21:39:00.003-04:00

Additional things I've learned as a mom:

A public bathroom is as only good as it's changing station. If you lack one, you've already become a terrible bathroom.
There's a high likelihood that you will have some form of baby bodily fluid or dirt on your clothing by the end of the day. No more expensive clothing for a while.
Accessibility to my boob is now vital when shopping for new tops. If I can't breastfeed in it, there's no point in getting it. I have a really pretty long dress that I can't wear at this time because there's no way I can bf in it. I wish I had thought about that when I bought it.
The breastfeeding diet rocks. I've lost all of my pregnancy weight plus 17 pounds of prepregnancy weight. Only 11 more to go because goal weight #1.
Each day of maternity leave brings on a stronger desire to be a SAHM. I wish we could afford that as an option.
The mama bear is me in fierce. I never knew this side of me.
I detest car seats. Not for their function but because they are a PITA to get a baby in and out of. Plus they are freaken heavy if you decide to carry them.
You learn to prioritize which store to go in due to the aforementioned car seat issue.
The Ergo Carrier is a lifesaver.

Preston's Development:

He's starting to coo which is delightful to hear.
He is kicking his legs and moving his arms with more fluidity and enjoys his activity mat.
He's growing out of clothing like I work for a clothing store. What fit him last week, can easily be too small this week. BTW, I stepped on the scale with him yesterday and it said he was 15 pounds. I'm waiting for Danielle to do the same for confirmation. Holy Cow.
He can hold his head up longer on his own.
He still loves to be held and I love holding him.

Here's a short clip of him.

5 weeks

2010-05-19T23:42:00.002-04:00

My beautiful boy is getting bigger and bigger. Pulling him in to bed with me at night to nurse requires much more effort on my part these days. Before I could do it half asleep, now... not so much.
I fall deeper and deeper in love with him each and every day. Sometimes I feel like I can't get enough of him. He honestly brings me so much joy.
He enjoys tummy time and playing on his activity mat. He's discovering that he has arms and enjoys moving them. It's fun to watch except when he accidentally hits himself in his face.
I still wake up at night to make sure he's breathing. Damn you SIDS!
He loves to cuddle but can also fall asleep on his own in his cradle. However, with that said, he'd much rather fall asleep in your arms and I'm okay with that.
Sometimes he stops what he's doing just to listen to my voice as though he thinks it's the sweetest sound ever. I'm sure as a teen, he won't feel the same way!
I feel so incredibly lucky to be his mom.

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4 Week Check Up

2010-05-11T17:13:00.002-04:00

Preston now weighs 11 pounds, 13 ounces and is 23 1/4 inches long. Talk about a growing boy! It's hard watching him grow so fast. Even at four weeks I want to freeze time.

At this age:

He turns his head to the sound of my voice
He stops crying when I sing to him.
He can turn his head while on his tummy
And he loves loves loves to be held.
Fussy time is usually between 9p-10p
He loves to nuzzle at the breast after eating
Wakes up around 2:45am and in the 5am hour to eat

Question: When did you pick a bedtime for your little one? And when is it? He still sleeps alot during the day and night. Did your child's bedtime change once you went back to work? I still have 8 weeks of maternity leave.

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Our First Mother's Day

2010-05-09T18:30:00.004-04:00

I wanted to do something special for our first Mother's Day so we went to Color Me Mine and painted mugs with Preston's footprints on them. Yes, my son has really big feet!!! It was one of the first things Danielle noticed about him after he was born (I anticipate a really tall boy). We had a great time and I'm sure it's something I will always remember. I can't wait to pick up the final product next week after it is fired and glazed.

Mother's Day 2010

2010-05-08T20:37:00.004-04:00

I read over my blog entry from last year on Mother's Day. I was in such a different place then. It was my third Mother's Day ttc and just another reminder of what I wasn't and yet so desperately hoped to be. It was very painful and I can still remember and feel what that hurt was like.

This year I'm looking forward to celebrating Mother's Day. I've waited so long to be a mother and I'm honored to have such a role. To make it special for our family, we have plans to go to a local pottery studio to make each other mugs with Preston's footprints on it (thanks giggleblue for the idea) and then we are meeting Danielle's mother and sister for lunch (pics to follow tomorrow).

So for my readers, I'll leave you with a passage from last year's mother's day entry which was so meaningful to me and helped me get through the holiday.

To those that are blessed to have children on earth, to those who have angels in heaven, and to those who are mothers in their hearts and just waiting for their miracle, Happy Mother's Day.

Baby Acne or Rash?

2010-05-04T15:11:00.001-04:00

It started out with a few spots but over the last week it has gotten progressively worse. At the last pediatric visit we were told it was baby acne. However now it's spreading to his upper chest. We're returning to the doctor next week for his one month check up. In the meantime any thoughts?

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Music Time

2010-04-29T13:13:00.000-04:00

Can be so exhausting at times.

My little love is growing like a weed. I bet he is going to be tall like his mamas. Within a week he gained 1 pound 1 ounce so as of Monday he weighs 9 pounds 1 ounce.

He's had some fussy moments but is easily soothed. The past few nights he wakes up for feedings vs having to be woken up. This weeks goal is to practice nursing while lying down.

Next week Danielle returns to work (sigh).

What I've Learned So Far...

2010-04-26T19:43:00.003-04:00

In the two weeks of being a mother, I've learned the following:

You have to allot WAY more time to get both yourself and the baby ready to go out, even if it's a quick trip to get frozen yogurt at Razzy Fresh.
ALWAYS bring a second set of clothing in case of accidents (i.e. blowouts)
Diaper blowouts SUCK. We've had them about every other day.
Breastfeeding poop stains (yep, the swing, bedspread, and clothing)
Sleep when the baby sleeps is easier said than done but I'm working on it.
You can't please everyone and these days I don't aspire to. If your feelings are hurt, I'm sorry but this is not about you, me, or his other mother. It's about him and I will continue to make decisions that I feel are in his best interest.
I have a lot of patience for crying and I hope it will continue as tonight Preston has learned to exercise his lungs.
Driving alone with him in the car was not as scary as I thought it would be.
However, driving in the rain storm alone in the car was slightly scary.
I need to get out of the house daily if even for a walk around the block. The other day I didn't and I cried on and off the entire evening. It was not a good day. The following day I left Preston with Danielle for 1.5 hours so I could run to Target and Motherhood Maternity and I felt like a new woman.
A good nursing bra makes a huge difference. Thank god for my mini trip to Motherhood Maternity.
Breastfeeding does get easier like everyone said after the first two weeks. Preston now feeds on demand except at night when he still gets fed at 1am and 4am and my boobs are less leaky! Yay!

Pregnancy Weight

2010-04-23T11:42:00.003-04:00

I stepped on the scale today to find out that I lost all 18 pounds of my pregnancy weight PLUS 5 additional pounds. Now it's time to lose my ttc weight and I'll be that yummy mummy in no time!

Happy Earth Day

2010-04-22T12:46:00.000-04:00

Preston is doing his part and rockin' cloth diapers for Earth Day. I will TRY to upload a pic of each one throughout the day.

Happy Earth Day.

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Breastfeeding

2010-04-22T01:02:00.000-04:00

Today was a good breastfeeding day. It seems like new issues arise one day and resolve itself the next. However today we fed on demand vs a three hour schedule which seemed to work out well. Hopefully he will continue this tomorrow.

I knew breastfeeding would be challenging and I have to remind myself on a daily basis that it will get easier.

In the hospital I was asked to pump after each feeding which caused WAY too milk when I got home. This was incredibly frustrating because I was leaking everywhere and would wake up completely soaked and shivering. It seems like that has gotten better.

Preston is a good feeder and latches well but sometimes he won't feed from both sides in one setting. The lactation specialist said this was okay but encouraged us to feed from both sides if possible.

Seeing the lactation specialist at the pediatricians office was helpful. She observed an entire feeding and gave some really helpful pointers. She introduced us to the cuzoodle nursing pillow which I fell in love with. I want one but im trying to justify the $70 price tag for a pillow. I think I can since I HATE the boppy and will use it multiple times on a daily basis.

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My first week in review

2010-04-18T22:53:00.007-04:00

Preston's Birth Story

2010-04-18T09:04:00.003-04:00

To say I am in love is an understatement. From the moment I saw and held Preston, I was overwhelmed with emotion. Sometimes I just sit and look at him and become tearful at his existence. His birth was so amazing to me and I can't believe I created and carried such a precious gem.

His birth story started on Saturday when Danielle and I went to the chili fest as a distraction. It was a beautiful day and we had a great time together. We decided that night that I would try some castor oil to get things moving. Around 6pm I took some and by 7pm I was feeling the unpleasant effects of it. I went to bed early in hopes that I could get some rest before going in to labor. I just had a feeling. By 3am Sunday morning I woke up to what I thought were contractions. By 3:30am, I was sure that they were. The contractions were anywhere from 6-10 minutes apart, mostly around 6-7 minutes and lasted for a minute. I remember thinking thank god, they were only a minute long. Knowing that allowed me to get through them much easier. By 5am or 6am, I had to get out of bed to manage them. I watched tv, finished up laundry, finished packing our hospital bag, straightened up the house, ate breakfast, walked around and used the exercise ball. The breathing we learned in lamaze class really helped.

Around 10am, I went back upstairs and fell asleep with Danielle but didn't have another noticeable contraction for 50 minutes. I felt defeated at the time wondering how my contractions went from 6-7 minutes to 50. I thought "man, I went through all of that and it was false labor." Danielle felt defeated as well because she was so hopeful that it was the real deal and now we weren't sure.

Around 11am, I called Mr. Midwife who said he would be in the office doing paperwork and asked us to come in. From the sound of it, he too, thought it was false labor. We took a shower, packed the car with our things and met with him at 12:30pm. He did a cervical check and surprised us all (including himself he admitted) that I was already 4cm dilated and had just a little lip left that had to efface. His office is in a cute neighborhood with many shops so he encouraged us to walk around for another hour, get something to eat/drink and return to his office. So we did just that. I wasn't very hungry and could only tolerate a toasted bagel from Brueggers. I remember the cashier looking at me in concern as I dealt with contractions. Upon returning to the midwife's office, we learned that I was 5cm dilated and my water broke showing that our little guy had passed meconium in utero. So with that he encouraged us to go to the hospital and he would meet us there.

The man is like superman, by the time we got there and to the sign in desk, he was already in his scrubs waiting. I labored in the birthing room for 7 hours drug free on top of the 12 hours at home. The jacuzzi tub was heaven sent. It really helped ease the pain. However, by hour 19/20 in to my overall labor, I hadn't progressed past 7cm and I couldn't manage the pain anymore. I went off mentally to some other place. I remember during my second time in the jacuzzi, Danielle suggesting pain meds and at that point, I accepted. My goal was to try to have this birth drug free with the back up of an epidural and honestly, I have no regrets. I was really afraid of getting the needle in my back but as I was getting out of the jacuzzi, I remember wondering how fast the anesthesiologist could get to my room.

I laugh now because Danielle said I was really snippy with the anesthesiologist team. I remembering looking up to see about 3-4 extra people in my room and in my birth plan I wanted as few people as possible. I'm also all for med students and teaching moments but the med student who was administering my epidural took forever. The doctor who was observing/teaching her would show her and then have her do it. It really was a teaching moment and at the time not really appreciated by me because I was in so much pain. However, with that said, once it was in, I felt so much better. I still had movement in my legs and just felt pressure with each contraction.

About an hour and a half later it was time to push. I did a few pushes on my back and then got on my knees, faced the back of the bed, using it's upright position for support and pushed that way. Danielle said I pushed for 1.5 hours. It really didn't seem that long but I was just in another place mentally and lost track of time. Danielle said that she and Patrick were so up close and personal but instead of being grossed out, she was completely mesmerized watching his head move further and further down. When he started to crown, they packed a lot of ice around my bottom to deal with the burning sensation. I remember before the last push thinking, okay this really burns so I can either push and get him out or sit with this pain. With one more great push, he was out.

Because of the meconium, a doctor examined him right away to make sure he hadn't ingested any into his airways. He was then handed over to Danielle while I was being stitched up (tore slightly) and cleaned up (birth is sooooo messy) then handed over to me for some skin to skin time with warm blankets placed over us. The moment was magical. I get so overwhelmed at times to think that I carried him for 9 months and then here he is in my arms. He was truly worth all the wait, the 2 years of trying, the 16 tries, the heartache and sadness of bfn's after bfn's, the wanting and waiting, he was worth it all. I love him so much.

NICU day 3

2010-04-16T05:53:00.000-04:00

Preston is doing much better as of yesterday afternoon. He's well hydrated and his soft plushy skin has returned. He is producing many wet diapers and has more energy during his feedings. His IV was removed from his hand and his jaundice uv lights were decreased. His billi level dropped to 11 as of this morning. They are looking for a reading below 12 with the ability to maintain it without lights so I think they will discuss testing that out today but I have to wait for his treatment team meeting later this morning to find out.

As for me Im holding up. I'm tired and my feet and legs are incredibly swollen again. Mr. Midwife strikes again and came to visit me yesterday to offer some support.

I'm excited at the possibility of him coming home tomorrow and can't wait to snuggle with him for hours on end. As of right now I only get to hold him for less than an hour every three hours for feedings. Poor Danielle gets even less time.

Anyway thank you all for putting us in your thoughts and prayers. Let's hope for a discharge for tomorrow.

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NICU

2010-04-15T00:06:00.002-04:00

I have so much to write about and so little time. Preston's birth was AMAZING and I am so in love with him. He was definitely worth the wait. A lot of you have sent emails, texts, and facebook messages checking in on us and I apologize for the delay or lack of responses. After being discharged home on Tuesday, Preston was admitted to the NICU Wednesday afternoon for jaundice. He left the hospital with a 13.7 reading and a follow up with his Pediatrician the following day. They are generally concerned about any reading over 14. After his appointment the Pediatrician sent us to have bloodwork done at the hospital where we delivered and after hearing the results, 19.x he was admitted directly to the NICU. He's doing incredibly well. Within the 10 hours that he's been here, his reading has gone down from 19.x to 14.7. They removed one of the lights and I'm hopeful that he will continue to do well and can be discharged tomorrow or at the very latest Friday.

I didn't understand the set up of the NICU prior to going and feared having to leave him there alone. It was heartbreaking and I'm amazed at the feelings you develop so quickly for your child. Even though rationally I knew that I hadn't made him sick, I felt that I had and felt helpless in being able to make him feel better on my own.

The NICU triage nurse, Stephanie, was a wonderful advocate for us. Because I'm exclusively breastfeeding, she was able to get us a nesting room overnight in the NICU so that both Danielle and I could stay with him but also rest. The room is down the hall from his room but the fact that we can be so close makes a world of difference. Because he's doing well he's able to come out of his incubator every 3 hours so I can breastfeed him. Stephanie instructed me pump in case his levels didn't drop. But because he's doing so well, we use it supplement after he nurses. Danielle was able to bottle feed him for the first time.

I click so well with some nurses and others, well...not so much. Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly appreciative of the work the nurses have done for us but some of them can really make you feel like crap. Once Preston was stabilized in triage, he was placed in his own room and Nurse Mary Ann took over his care. I swear, I was about to lose it if she suggested one more freaken time to give him formula. As a new parent in the NICU, you are already venerable and you really put your trust in the staff to guide you in the right direction but the fact that I was breastfeeding, his numbers were going down AND I had conceded to allowing a bottle of breastmilk, I was downright pissed off that she continued to bring up the idea of formula and it did nothing but make me stress out more about milk output which we all know is counterproductive. It felt like she was insinuating that my milk wasn't good enough. After his last feeding, I went over to pump what was left since he didn't really latch on to the left side and they only want him out for a short period of time to nurse and she questioned why I was doing that, that it didn't make sense, etc. Luckily the nurse who was taking over for her for the next shift, told her what I was doing was right and for me to continue. So then Mary Ann apologizes and proceeds to tell us how she "failed" at breastfeeding her children and doesn't know much about it. I was just so grateful that it was change of shift.

Anyway, it's almost time to feed my love again. I'll post his birth story another day.

Introducing

2010-04-12T03:11:00.000-04:00

Preston Tyler. He was born 4/11/10 at 11:23pm. He weighs 7 pounds, 6 ounces and is 21 inches long. Labor was over 20 hours. I'll post details and a pic later.

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In labor

2010-04-11T08:54:00.000-04:00

Contractions started at 3am this morning. They are definitely no fun but at this point manageable. We went to the midwife's office bc I couldn't feel him move and oddly enough the contractions decreased in frequency. However, I'm 4cm dilated. We were instructed to walk the neighborhood for an hour and grab something to eat. After that we will return to his office and then head to the hospital.

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Still Pregnant

2010-04-09T17:34:00.002-04:00

Hi everyone, I just wanted to drop a note to let you know that I feel your support, labor vibes, and well wishes. I'm still pregnant but hope something kicks in to high gear today or over the weekend. I have periodic feelings of breathlessness, nausea (at night), and contractions but nothing consistent.

I officially started my maternity leave today and had a great pamper-me-day. I got my hair done, a wonderful pedicure, and met a friend for lunch and a long chat.

I'll keep you posted. I will post one last belly shot as requested later on.

Week 39w3d Check Up

2010-04-05T10:52:00.005-04:00

We met with the midwife this morning. He did a cervical check and said I’m starting to thin out. I’m about 30% effaced right now but not dilated. He kept on reminding us about the possibility of going over 2 weeks but said that the thinning out is a good sign and thinks maybe the baby will come around his due date. Just as an aside... Danielle was born on her due date. I think the statistic of being born on your due date is something like 2% so it would be a cool thing for them to have in common. If by next Monday, which is my next appt, he’s still not here, I’ll have to go in for a non-stress test and another u/s to measure the amniotic fluid to make sure he’s okay. We will then schedule an induction to take place on the week of the 19th. He said he doesn’t think we’ll end up going that route but that’s the plan if we do.

BTW, I HATE cervical checks. They are painful and traumatizing. I cannot imagine keeping it together and having one while in labor.

My midwife suggested Evening Primrose. I hate the smell of the oil but I will start it tonight.

Those Little Things You Do

2010-04-04T20:11:00.000-04:00

Have I ever mentioned that I have a wonderful partner? During this pregnancy Danielle has been so incredibly supportive. From the daily massages, to the empathic look and cuddle she gives me when she knows I don't feel great, I just feel really lucky to have gone through this experience with her. Sometimes I roll my eyes when she tells me I'm beautiful and will miss my huge belly but deep down it makes me feel good to know that she's still attracted to me even when I don't feel attractive. And while I'll miss the pampering and extra attention, I'm ready for our little guy to arrive. He's due this week and I'm praying that he comes on time. Either way, I start my maternity leave on Friday but I just hate the idea of wasting vacation time when he's not here.

My swollen feet

2010-04-02T10:19:00.000-04:00

I hope my skinny ankles return. Fat ankles in heels just won't work for this future yummy mummy.

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"The Talk"

2010-03-29T11:48:00.002-04:00

Mr. Midwife had "The Talk" with me. The one that you hope never to hear...going post 40 weeks. I know it's possible to be pregnant for 42 weeks but I'm not sure anyone really wants to go over 40 weeks. I've been patient the entire pregnancy but the last few weeks once you hit full term are hard. Although I'm aware of the possiblity, I kind of live in denial and hope and to believe that SugarPlum will come on time. However, this morning, Mr. Midwife said that if he doesn't come next week we'll go in to a deeper discussion about being induced. I asked him when that would happen, thinking he would say we would consider it week 40, but he said week 42! Sigh.

Baby Shower #2

2010-03-24T20:54:00.004-04:00

My co-workers threw a shower for me which was hosted by my coworker friend, Rachel. She did a great job and brought her cute little 4 year old boy with her. There was lots of great food, especially the cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory (lemon raspberry-yum). I got lots of cool gifts which is always nice. One of my favorite things about receiving gifts from both this shower and my other shower is that a lot of people didn't shop from my registry so there were lots of cool surprises. It's nice to know that people took time to think about something they thought we'd like. I know some people get really pissed off if their guests don't shop from their registry but I don't. Either way is fine with me. Who am I to be ungrateful? Anyway, I got another carrier which Danielle has already claimed, receiving blankets which we needed, Sophie the teething Giraffe which I hear is a hot item, a Pirates outfit (so Pittsburgh but I love it), toys, diapers in two different stages, wipes, clothes, a photo album, books, halosac, and a $50 gift card to Babies R Us. Our little guy is so lucky.

BTW- Danielle and I decided on godparents. Yay! I'm pretty happy about our decision. I can't wait to ask them. For us, we'd like our son's godparents to be support people, role models and aunt/uncle figures. We don't expect them to raise our child should we die. We just want them to be involved. Even though they are not in the same state as us, I think they'll do well with the role we're asking them. I'll reveal their identity once they accept. We decided we'll ask them once the baby is born.

Nursery

2010-03-22T10:11:00.005-04:00

Here are some pics of our nursery. There's no real color or theme to it once we changed the color from blue to latte. It's just a collection of things I thought he'd like. Please excuse the mess. We still have pictures to add around the dresser area, the strollers need to go in the back of our cars, and I need to add hooks on the back of the door to hang his slings/carriers.

nursery

37 Weeks

2010-03-22T09:39:00.002-04:00

I'm officially full term. Yay!!!
I'm not sick of being pregnant but I'm ready to give birth. I'm excited to meet SugarPlum and live motherhood.
Selfishly, I'm definitely ready for maternity leave. Finding something that fits for work on a daily basis is becoming a challenge. I've also developed "the mask of pregnancy" and can't wait to get rid of it, I can't wait to shed this weight, and have control over my bladder.
I must be going through some kind of hormonal change because my mood has plummeted. I'm incredibly quiet and irritable.
Danielle has been wonderful. I love her so much. She's been so nurturing and understanding that it's made these last few weeks easier.
This is the last week of lamaze. Thank god. I feel like it was a waste of money. I don't think we learned anything that amazing. I've been doing a lot of reading and I'm sure I could have gotten the same info from a book or a good DVD. No one is particularly close in our group so I can't even say that we may get a friend out of the deal. I'm just glad it will be over and we can get our Wednesday nights back to relax after work.

Who wants ice-cream????

2010-03-16T20:42:00.000-04:00

Mmmmmmmeeeeee!!!!!! My favorite ice-cream shop is opened for the season. I love this place. They use local products such as homemade cookies from a local bakery for their ice cream sandwiches. Their milkshakes are so yummy and they have really fun

artic swirls. I love coming here in the summer. This year we are starting a little earlier. Yum!

Godparents

2010-03-13T23:45:00.003-05:00

Danielle and I recently had a discussion about godparents. I'm really trying to understand their purpose in order for us to choose the right people. I've heard so many things such as they are to provide religious guidance, be the person who cares for your child should the parents die, someone who is a support for the child, as well as other things. My godmother is my mother's cousin and my godfather is my dad's best friend. They both still live in England but as a small child I remember my godfather coming over to visit and bringing both my brother and I treats. My brothers have different godparents from myself and each other. Neither of theirs were really all that involved.

I suppose for me, I see their role as being a support "aunt/uncle" like figure in the child's life. If Danielle and I should die, the child would live with a family member as a first option, not them. And as far as religion, I have no problem with them doing that but I'm not sure all of my friends would be able to fulfill that task.

I know some people choose family members. Danielle's sister was very hurt that she was not in the running to be the godmother. I think she had just assumed she would get the role but personally, I'd like to choose someone who isn't a family member as family members already have a role/title in our child's life. Growing up I always thought it would be my best friend Dina. Our friendship had drifted at one point but seems to pretty strong again as of late. My friend Erica seems to be the person who comes to mind. Danielle is in agreement but struggles with the fact that she already has several godchildren. However, they are all girls. For us, having a male role model in our child's life is important. My brother lives 3 hours away, my dad is a 2 hour flight, and Danielle's brother doesn't like me (long very dramatic stereotypical gay boy story), my good male friend doesn't seem to have any interest in children, and we lack male friends that live geographically close that would serve good role models. Erica's brother was once our donor. I thought about him but he too lives in LA with his sister. Now, when we move to LA, geography won't be an issue but until then?

So here are my questions:
- who are your child(ren) godparents?
- how did you choose them?
- what purpose do godparents serve in your mind?
- have they lived up to that role so far?
- when did you appoint them that role? (christening/baptism/dedication, etc)

Diaper Mail

2010-03-12T09:24:00.000-05:00

Sugarplum got some diapers

in the mail from nana.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Our Baby Shower

2010-03-08T09:34:00.004-05:00

Our baby shower was simply amazing. It was touching to see how much attention to detail Erica (hostess) put in, to incorporate both Danielle and I in a way that I think and hope Danielle felt this shower was as much for her as it was for me.

The shower was High Tea held at "the oldest dining room in Pittsburgh" at the Terrace Room in the Omni Hotel. The room looked beautiful with the linen cloaked tables, table settings, and chandeliers. It reminded Danielle and I of the dining rooms on our cruise ship. Erica set each place setting with favors that matched the theme of our invitations. They included a bookmark, chocolate lollipop with our names and date on it, and a tea bag in the most beautiful themed packet. She also made homemade red velvet cupcakes for people to take home with them and put them in their own individual boxes. I think our guests felt just as well thought of as Danielle and I did.

With the exception of one, everyone showed up. Games included naming the children of the listed tv parents and their show. Erica is a HUGE tv/movie fan so this was so her and a lot of fun. Another game included trying to guess the most items in my diaper bag. My niece Logan, was given the job of walking around with a baby bottle of jellybeans and allowed each person to guess how many were in it. Logan (age 5) and my 1 year old niece were the only children there so it was nice to give her a job to do. And then the last game was while I opened my presents. Everyone was given a bingo board with common baby items and as I opened my gifts they were able to use their marker (spring colored M&M's) to mark it off. We ended up with a few bingos. This was my favorite game because it kept people interested as we opened up gifts. In between games and as we were having tea, Erica did a "P3 challenge." If some of you remember the ongoing joke/nickname for Danielle is P3 (professional poker player- long story). Anyway, on the cupcake boxes and under the tea cup saucers, Erica randomly placed poker stickers. Whoever, had the sticker she called out won the prize. And talking about prizes, she picked out some really nice prizes. I could see that the guests were impressed and really enjoyed them.

Um, what else? Oh, yeah gifts. We got TONS of gifts. Once again, I have amazing friends who are incredibly generous. Our little guy is going to be so decked out in all of his cute clothes. My friends have great taste in baby clothing!!! Someone commented towards the end that we didn't receive any blankets, bottles, or receiving blankets and they were right. We have enough at home but usually people receive tons of them. I think it just means that my friends think outside the box!!! Other gifts included super cute bibs, an Ergo carrier, exersaucer, pj's and shower gel/lotion for me to take to the hospital, toys, diapers/wipes, tons of books with beautiful greetings written from the gift giver, monitor, money, gift cards, etc. Truly, our little guy was lavished with lots of wonderful gifts.

Anyway, all in all, I had a great time. It was truly everything I hoped and wished it to be. My friends have been so incredibly supportive along my journey and it was nice to have them all there with us to celebrate the pending arrival of our little guy.

Hospital Tour

2010-03-02T09:31:00.002-05:00

This morning Mr. Midwife took Danielle and I, along with another couple on a tour of the hospital. He told us where to sign in, showed us triage, L&D, and recovery. The triage area has a really nice jacuzzi that seems to be limited to patients using midwives. I guess the nurses are way too busy to monitor OB patients in there so it's not offered to them. The tub is a nice size with lots of jets. We are allowed to labor in there as long as possible. For those who used a tub or shower of some sort during your labor, what did you wear? I'm trying to figure out what would be the most appropriate/comfortable.

I'm really impressed with the labor and delivery area. It's quite large and cozy. I just assumed it would have a sterile feel to it but quite the contrary. Mr. Midwife showed us how the bed breaks down into a birthing chair and how there's a steel bar that can go across it if you want to brace yourself and squat during delivery. I just love that I'm not just limited to laying on my back and pushing. He's a big fan of moving around and trying different positions. He's also a big fan of kangaroo care and said the nurses have no problem accommodating us by holding off on weighing, feet stamping, etc of the baby for an hour or so.

The post partum rooms aren't as large or cozy but they will accommodate what we need for our 2 night stay. Visiting is 24 hours a day and Danielle can stay with me the entire time. The babies have a special device on their bracelets that literally shuts down the entire hospital (doors, elevators, etc) if someone goes beyond a certain point with them. I'm truly impressed with this security measure. Breastfeeding is encouraged as well as rooming in. He also gave us the tip of making a sign to bring with us that says "sleeping." He said you won't get much rest at the hospital but if you put the sign up, it can reduce some traffic in and out of your room with people like the water fillers, tray takers, etc.

So all in all, we enjoyed the tour. It definitely raised our level of excitement about the baby's arrival and made the idea that he'll be arriving soon all seem a little more real.

Lamaze Class #1

2010-02-25T10:17:00.003-05:00

We started lamaze last night. Of course, we were the only lesbian couple and I was the only black person there out of 10 other couples. I think most couples caught on that Danielle and I were there as a couple. However, one girl was just so clueless. The ice-breaker was to go around, find out each others names and due dates. Well there was one other couple who are due April 9th like us. However, the clueless girl didn't catch on so when she introduced herself to us and we both said April 9th, she thought there were 3 of us due April 9th. Later on, she was talking to Danielle about baby experiences in a way that she was waiting for Danielle to relate as a carrying mom would. However, she seemed a little confused when Danielle couldn't. Maybe next week....

Class is from 6:30-9pm which is great for us working people. However, it makes for a long day. Towards the end, the teacher engaged us in a relaxation exercise where she turned out the lights, had us lay on mats with our pillows and put on soothing music and did some guided imagery. I remember her saying something about beach umbrellas and that was it, I was out for the count. Danielle had to jab me to wake me up!!! The teacher had forewarned us that this may happen. Let's just say, I have no problems relaxing. I do think guided imagery will help me during labor as well as using a focal point. The first thing that comes to mind as a focal point is a vase of purple or deep pink tulips. So hopefully, we'll buy some the weeks leading up to my due date.

Tonight I'm off to an open house for a Pediatric Office. Tomorrow, I have a prenatal appointment. Saturday is Danielle's mother's surprise 50th birthday party and Sunday we are visiting friends. It's been a busy week. My goal for next week is to get my hospital bag packed. I know it's early but I'd rather have it waiting than trying to scramble at the last minute.

Invitation greatness

2010-02-23T15:08:00.005-05:00

Our Shower is next Sunday, March 7th. I'm so psyched about it and can't believe it's coming up so fast. I'm honestly way more excited about seeing my friends than the gift receiving (although that will be fun too). I truly feel like this is a celebration of our really difficult ttc journey and being able to share the happiness with my good friends who supported me along the way.

My friend Erica is flying in from Los Angeles, her mother is coming in from DC, my childhood BFF from NY, and my brother and his family are coming in from OH. Then I'll have all of my in town friends as well. It will be a small shower with a little less than 30 people and it's at a really nice hotel downtown for afternoon tea.

Erica did a wonderful job with the invitations and envelopes. They are beautiful and totally reflect me and my personality.

Gifts are starting to pour in already. Over the weekend, Danielle's mother and sister bought us a pack and play. The week before we got a Chicco travel system from my parents. Yesterday my brother and sil sent us a monitor. It's pretty neat because you can wear it like a watch, on your upper arm like an ipod when you are exercising, or clipped to your shirt. They also bought us an Ergo carrier. And Rachel (single mom insanity) sent us Boon sippy cups at Mr. Farty's recommendation.

This baby is going to be so decked out with all of this stuff but he deserves it. It took him so long to come to us.

Nothing Says Romance Like....

2010-02-15T08:58:00.002-05:00

Going to BRU and the Auto Show on Valentine's Day.

V-day isn't huge for us. I think as long as we are together, we're happy. We went out of sushi on Saturday and did some shopping.

Then on Sunday, we took advantage of BRU's trade in event. A friend of mine was gracious enough to donate 3 old baby items so that we could obtain three 25% off coupons for baby gear. We bought a baby gate, travel system, and a separate car seat for Danielle's car. We had to put back the mattress because we ran out of room in my small car. The coupons saved us a ton of money.

Because I have such a small car, I've been toying with the idea of getting a new car. It's such a difficult decision because my car is paid off and has been for several years, runs well, and did I mention paid off? The thought of going back to a car payment sucks. However, my car is small and I worry about our safety more so now that a baby will be in the car with us.

So yesterday we went to the Auto Show. All of the top makers were there showing off their cars, suv's, and minivans. Danielle is really pushing for a minivan and while they are cool inside, I'm not truly in love with the idea. My current car was chosen and half paid for by my parents when I finished grad school. So this will be the first time that I actually get to choose a car that I want. I seem to be really drawn to crossovers and suv's. I'm also really drawn to the Nissan Altima. The nice thing about the auto show was that I got to look at and sit in suv's by makers I had never even thought about. Maybe during my maternity leave I'll look into shopping around.

Last night we watched "The Happiest Baby on the Block." Has anyone tried his techniques? My friend and SIL had success with his 5 S's. Just wondering what other people thought about him.