A Vespa= going green?

They're cute, they're tiny, they scream me!!! I don't even know where I got the idea but a few weeks ago, I got the idea that I want a Vespa. They are so Euro and so eco-friendly. Well maybe that's a stretch but you get about 70mpg, which in essence means you are using less gas which is eco-friendly right? I could just see me vepsing (yes, I made that word up) around town, back and forth to work.

Ladies night out with the blog girls is driving me nuts!!! In fear of sounding like an addict, all week I've been wanting a glass of wine, a fruity slushy alcoholic beverage, or a glass of bailey's. I log on to read everyone's blogs and what does everyone have? Delicious looking Sex on the Beach, Daiquiris and shots on their blog pages. WHYYYYYYYY? Why must you all inadvertently taunt me? LOL! Only teasing, I love the idea of celebrating our ttc journey. Cheers to all! Tomorrow I'm suppose to go to Sandbar, which is an outdoor beach themed club for a friend's birthday. You know because its beach themed they are going to have beachy drinks. I'd love to indulge but on the other hand I kind of have to protect this costly investment potentially going on inside of me. So for now, I'll just have a virtual drink. Let me tell you, its NOT the same.

Speaking about the beach, I called my parents (they live in FL) to say hi and they tell me they won't be home for a few days, they are going to St. Kitts for a few days. MUST BE NICE!!!! But I guess this is what retirement is all about. I just wish they invited me.

On a ttc note.... Sometimes for s&g (shits and giggles) I temp in the evening just to get an idea of what may happen in the morning. Anyway, my temps are a little low so I'm curious about that. I'm kind of hoping for IB this weekend just to give me some hope but I know it doesn't always happen to women who end up being pregnant. I don't have any real or imaginary symptoms to report. Those don't usually kick in until the 1ww so stay posted.

I've moved the poas day to Wednesday (11dpo) or Thursday (12dpo). I only have 2 FRER and I don't want to buy any more.

My addiction

I am addicted to Mario 3. Damn if I can get past the 3rd world though. It's our (yes, Danielle is addicted right along with me) goal to conquer it tonight. Playing Mario has been a wonderful, wonderful distraction through the tww.

7 days and counting or is it 6?

It only takes one

After thawing, our donor had a sample of 19 million. We were told by the nurse that it was a very good sample so we left feeling rather happy about it. Then after chatting with some of the women on BBC I found out that there have been known samples of 75-100 million with a higher motility so I definitely felt a little bummed. When I told Danielle she said I crushed her "hopes and dreams" being the little drama queen she can be sometimes. However, I was also told that some women have had samples as low as 5 million and still got preggo so I'll acquiesce to remembering that it only takes 1.

8 days and counting.

Doing it ol' school

While visiting a few weeks ago, my brother showed me how to buy old games on our Wii. So last night Danielle and I bought Mario 1 and Mario 3, you know, the old school versions for the original nintendo. Those games are hilarious. We are having so much fun reminiscing about the days we played it as a child. I think I was in about 6th or 7th grade when these games were big. It's so funny how much you remember from so long ago like where there are hidden blocks. There are just some things we can't remember for the life of us. We are still trying to clear world 3!!!!

My first IUI

That nurse is a bitch! I wonder if she knew that I called last night and left a message asking for the doctor to perform the IUI instead. I got a call this morning informing me that the doctor wasn't in at all and that the nurse would be performing all of the IUI's this morning. She went on to spell out her training in doing this and then asks if I want to reschedule if I don't feel comfortable. Um, this isn't the dentist's office where timing isn't a factor. So if I don't do it today, that means, I have to wait a whole other cycle. And furthermore, if I did that, I would ovulate on a Sunday next month which would put us in the same position. So without much of a choice, I agreed to still come in.

We are in the IUI room and she tells me the process of the IUI, stating that the only thing that may hurt is the speculum going in. I'm thinking well that should be a piece of cake because speculums don't hurt that much. Well, she wasn't lying... she literally and I mean literally jammed it in me, about 3 times. I was so far up on the table and all I hear her saying is "relax." How can I relax when you are hurting me? Danielle said it looked like she was raping my vagina. Finally, maybe out of frustration, she asked if I wanted to insert it. So 1,2,3 and it was in but then she took over again and started being rough again to get the cervix in place. Highly trained, my ass!!! I wanted to take my foot out of the stirrup and kick her in her head. Anyway, the actual insemination of the jizz went well. So we'll see in two weeks if this worked.

Countdown: 14 days until testing. Oh who am I kidding? 10 days until testing.

On the verge of a temper tantrum

Riddle: Someone is referred to a specialist to assist with fertility. That same person is asked to pay $280 for an IUI to be performed. Who should perform the IUI?

Answer: Um, maybe the specialist.

I got my +opk this morning on cd 14 like clockwork. So I called to schedule my IUI which is tomorrow at 8:30am. I really wanted Dr. K to perform the IUI because I really like her but I found out that the ice queen doctor is scheduled to be in the office tomorrow. Fine, whatever, I'll take her. She knows her stuff, started the clinic and so I'll deal with it. You never know, I may even have a change of heart about her. But oh no, the receptionist added that the doctor may not even perform the IUI, the nurse may. Now don't get me wrong, I think nurses are great and they do really good work. To boot, I am sure she is trained to perform IUI's. But I wasn't referred to a nurse, I was referred to a specialist and if I'm expected to pay $280 to have a IUI performed by a specialist, well then I want a freaken specialist to do it. I know this sounds like a little temper tantrum but trust me, it's not. I can't vouch for not having one tomorrow though, especially if it is the nurse who told me that I had PCOS.

If it was routine for all of the patients to have a nurse perform an IUI I wouldn't have a problem with it. As I said, I'm sure she is highly trained to do it. But it's not routine so why should I be picked out of the bunch? If I'm being referred to a specialist, then I want the doctor to deal with me start to finish, especially when it comes to what I feel is the most important part of this whole process.

On a opk note... the same sticks used for the CBE digitals (smiley's) can also be used right afterwards in the CBEFM.

Forgivness being a foreigner

Am I naive in thinking that the older I get, the more I'd be accepted? Since moving to America, one of my biggest challenges is being readily accepted by black girls. Most automatically judge me, sometimes even before having an actual conversation with me. I think they hear me talk and automatically assume that I'm a snob or think that I think I'm too good. I've never truly understood it but just came to accept it. Actually, accept the process. Here's the process.... they see or meet me, think I'm a snob, don't talk to me, alienate me, then one person will be nice enough to seek me out and have a conversation, and then afterwards they like me. I've literally had people who are my friends now tell me they prejudged me thinking that just because I am English, I would be a certain way but when they actually took the time, found out I was completely different than their initial perception. The frustrating thing is that the reason they've learned to accept me for who I am is because I'm English. As though being English is all the explanation they need but if I wasn't English then it would be 100% unacceptable. It's a total pass. It's bullshit.

So where is all of this coming from? Well I've been at my new job for the past 3 weeks and it feels like high school. I've literally had the girl who sits closest to me blatantly ignore me when I've said hi/bye or smiled at her but totally acknowledge others, even Danielle. Out of about 20 black girls close by me, there is only ONE girl who consistently says hi to me and smiles to me. When I asked for her assistance today, I think she got up enough courage to start a conversation with me and how does she start it? By saying "you're not from here are you?" As though that is the get of jail free pass I'm awarded for talking the way I do, for being the way I am, etc. As though if I was from America it would be totally unacceptable.

No one understands how frustrating this is. My own girlfriend makes fun of me at times and
suggests she is "more black than I am." How fucked up is that? I wonder why this is such an issue in America, this "being black enough." This is not an issue in England. You would just think that at 29 years old, being around other adults, that this wouldn't be an issue.