Teacher for a day

I'm on cloud 9 right now. I meet monthly with a therapist who is really well known in the field here in PA. She sees clients in her private practice, provides consultations and teaches at a well known University here in PA and another institute in Cleveland. I really admire her for her work and knowledge. So imagine my suprise when I got a call from her this morning asking me to teach one of her classes this Wednesday because she is unable to. Unfortunately, I can't because I have clients at my private practice that night but I'm so flattered that she would even consider me to do that for her. Sometimes we know we are good therapists or good at what we do but then there are these little reminders, when other people recognize it, that makes it feel even better.

On a ttc note, before starting this cycle, I just wanted to explore my options. So this morning, I spoke with the financial coordinator at my RE's office just to find out how much IVF would cost and if I wanted to use part of my FSA funds towards that instead of two cycles of injectables. After running some numbers, I'm going to stick with two rounds of injectables. She said that IVF would start out at $15,000 (procedure and meds, not including freezing). We were given the option of financing the difference but right now, I'm not sure I want that extra monthly expense. So the plan is to do two rounds of injectables and if I'm not pregnant by that time then we will look into an IVF cycle and if that doesn't work, I am throwing in the towel and Danielle can take over.

Ultrasound #4

There is a sign in the changing room that instructs you NOT to ask the sonographer any questions during the ultrasound. It took everything in me to avoid asking her what she saw and promise I wouldn't tell the RE. I would have taken a cough, wink, fart, anything to let me know what was going on. But, like any other visit, I had to wait for "the call." I finally got a call around lunchtime telling me that I have "a nice follicle measuring 21mm." Wahooo!!!! Ironically, the follicle is on the left side. If you recall, my lead follicle measuring 11mm on Saturday was on my right side. My estrogen level is 535 so I was instructed to trigger at 11:15pm and return on Thursday for the IUI.

I'm generally not an anxious person but I think ttc has turned me into a neurotic nitwit. What's my concern now? Well I've had tons of ewcm and 2 +opk's (yesterday and this morning) and now I'm worried I'm going to ovulate before the IUI and the timing will be all off. I asked the RE nurse about the +opk and she told me to disregard them. My control issues are being really challenged. I have to remind myself that this is their business and I have to trust them.

Okay I'm off to trigger.

1, 2.................3

I cannot tell you how many times Danielle and I counted to 3 before I worked up enough nerve to give myself the shot. We were literally at it for about 5 minutes. We tried it with me holding the pen, then her holding the pen and me dodging out the way when she came near me and then me holding the pen. Finally I worked up the nerve only because Danielle was getting ready to leave and I didn't want to do it without her. I needed her for moral support. However, the moral support went out the door when she laughed at me because I said "oh" as in "oh this is it?" when I stuck it in. It "burned" a little but that was it. With all of my fat, I hope the medicine finds its way to wherever it is suppose to go.

Well I'm off to go get some Indian food, come home and watch the Sex and the City Movie. I've gotten very little sleep these past few days and I'm exhausted. I had to move my u/s appointment up this morning because I couldn't get out of bed.

Gearing up for round thirteen

While I've thoroughly enjoyed my break, I'm getting excited and a little antsy to ttc again. Although breaks generally suck whether they are forced or voluntary, they do help. Anyway, I'm getting my checklist together. I still need to get alcohol swabs and a sharps container. After temping for over a year, it is going to be so weird not to temp this cycle or use opks. What will I do with myself every morning? It's become a part of my routine. I've decided that I'm not even going to temp during the tww because I've had such misleading charts in the past that it's not worth it. But who am I kidding? There's no way I can go without having some kind of information during the tww, so my supply of internet cheapies will be in the mail soon.

As far as our cruise, it's been so much fun looking at different excursions for us to go on. However, we may end up being a little limited if I am pregnant. I've found one that just seems so adventurous and a little scary. You almost look like a little alien but I bet it's fun.

On hold

We put the injectables on hold for a cycle. Through all of the excitement I forgot that our bank is closed until the 29th. From the sounds of it, there would be a possibility the injectables would make me o earlier than usual. You would think I would be bummed right? But actually I'm really okay with it. It's just nice to know there is a back up plan waiting in the wings.

Pay it forward (the receiving end)

I feel so fortunate at times. Today was one of those days. I received an email this morning with the offer of supporting my ttc journey by donating two boxes of injectables. Talk about being surprised. Yesterday, when we met with the RE and she brought it up, we never really went into much detail about it because I just felt it was out of reach. We knew we really couldn't afford it. So it just felt like such a blessing when I got this email.

So who's my little earth angel? It's Gia.

Initially I didn't think we could get it started this cycle because you are suppose to do the first injection on cd 3 (which is today). However my RE coordinator said we could start it on cd 4 the latest. We weren't sure if we could get it shipped in time and by the afternoon I told the RE coordinator that I was going to proceed with the Clomid and explore injectables next month if this cycle was a bust but then Gia called me saying it was being Fed Ex'd overnight and will arrive at 10:30am. So in the morning I just have to call the RE and tell her we changed our minds and will try injectables this month.

I am both incredibly nervous and excited. I feel extremely overwhelmed. Gia, being the technology forward woman she is, said she will make a video for me showing me what to do to decrease some of my anxiety. My stomach has been in knots all day.

Anyway, I just want to say thanks Gia. You are incredibly kind and generous. You didn't have to do this for me and you sure as hell didn't have to act as fast as you did to get it to me overnight. I really and truly appreciate it.