Bumper Sticker

I saw this on a bumper sticker today. I really like it:

"Live so the preacher wont have to lie at your funeral"

The Perfect Pushup

I am officially on break because I will be in NYC next weekend. I am looking forward to my trip. It's always nice to see old friends and NYC is such a fun place to be. I will be spending Friday with my friend Brad. He and I met during grad school. We were doing our internship at the same place. He now works as a lawyer in NYC advocating for children in foster care. He and his significant other live in a trendy apartment in lower Manhattan that has a very well known actor from The Soprano's living just down the hall. On Saturday I will be taking the LIRR (Long Island Railroad) to Long Island for Dina's 30th birthday party. Dina and I go waaayy back to 7th grade. We met in science class and have been friends ever since.

So this weekend, I have a lot of stuff to do. I have to find something to wear, schedule a hair and nail appointment, and buy Dina's gift. After 17 years of friendship you would think that I would know what to get her but I had no clue. Yesterday she mentioned she wanted "The Perfect Pushup." Me, being the ultra girly girl, assumed it was the newest push up bra from Victoria Secret but nope, I should have known better when it came to Dina. "The Perfect Pushup" is something that helps you physically do the perfect push up. What a waste of a name!!! So instead of trekking into Victoria Secret this weekend, I have to go the sports store. Yeah. Just where I want to go shopping. Maybe I'll sneak into VS anyway.

Dina's perfect pushup My perfect pushup

And the award goes to...

ME!!!!!

I am awe of myself that I think I deserve an award. I am 99.9% sure that this cycle is a bust. However, instead of falling apart like I thought I would, I am remaining amazingly composed and upbeat. Well upbeat may be pushing it a bit.

I am going to NYC the first weekend in May so try #10 may be put off until June. Breaks really suck because that is one more month you have to wait but they can be really helpful. I've taken about 4 breaks over the past year and I've felt really refreshed after them. The best break was when we went on a cruise to the Bahamas. I wish all of my breaks could be like that. How can you not feel refreshed after being on a beach with this in the background?

The Chinese Gods Know Something...

LOL! Even my chinese food is trying to cheer me up and give me some glimmer of hope.. Here's is what my fortune cookie from today's lunch read:

"Good news of a long-awaited event will arrive soon."

Dear god, why doesn't it ever get easier?

Just a quick update... I tested this morning at 13dpo and it was negative. To say that I am bummed out is an understatement. I could go into my bag of feelings and list them but I'll spare you (you can thank me later). I just don't understand. Anyway, maybe I'll be one of the lucky ones and get a late bfp. Either way, I'll survive <------at least that's what I keep on telling myself.

Oh by the way on the happier note.... I got my new laptop in last night. I am way excited! It is pink and very pretty. I love all of the features and functions. I can't wait to go home and download stuff when I get home. I am sure I will be blogging a lot more.

TTC #1, Try #9, Clomid 50mg.

I'm bbbaccckkk! Yep, on try #9. Last month didn't work out (sigh). However, after a year, you learn to move on. Actually, you give yourself permission a day for self-pity, crying, maybe a small indulgence, and then you move on.

So this month, we added Clomid to the mix. My doctor had prescribed it back in December but we were really hesitant to get it filled. However, after last month, we figured we had to change it up a bit. What is Clomid you ask? It is a fertility drug. It is primarily prescribed to women who cannot ovulate on their own. However, in my case, it was prescribed to increase my chances. Most women only produce 1 egg a month. However, on Clomid, you will produce more than one egg, therefore increasing your chances. However, there are side effects to Clomid which include headaches, hot flashes, full on bitchiness, and MULTIPLES!!!! Yeah, we could have our own version of Jon and Kate Plus 8 (if you don't watch that show, you should. It's so cute). Anyway, I consider myself lucky because the only side effect I had was hot flashes, make that sweating, at night. It isn't the most wonderful thing to have happen but it is much better than moodiness (which if you know me, know that I don't need a little white pill to help me in that area. I do it quite nicely all on my own), and headaches.

Soon after I started to take the pills (you take them days 3-7), I put in an order for another shipment. It arrived a day before we needed to use it. The process went really well and we are really hopeful that with the clomid and everything else that this is finally our month, cause between me and you, I don't know how much I can take this emotionally.

So here I am again in the tww. I've actually done amazingly well this time around. Maybe because I feel so ridiculously optimistic about this cycle. I am having some symptoms which I cannot distinguish if they are real, imaginary, or clomid induced. I did take a test today at 11dpo and it was negative. I was bummed for about an hour but snapped back into reality because in the land of ttc, 11 dpo is really still early to expect a bfp (big fat positive). Some pregnant women get several negatives before a positive so I am hanging in there.

I'll be back in a few days to give you an update. Until then, send me tons of baby dust. I know, can you believe it? I said baby dust. However, in ttc land, this is a very real thing!!!! You just wait until you start to ttc, you will want Fed Ex trucks filled with it.