Thursday, April 29, 2010

Music Time

Can be so exhausting at times.

My little love is growing like a weed. I bet he is going to be tall like his mamas. Within a week he gained 1 pound 1 ounce so as of Monday he weighs 9 pounds 1 ounce.

He's had some fussy moments but is easily soothed. The past few nights he wakes up for feedings vs having to be woken up. This weeks goal is to practice nursing while lying down.

Next week Danielle returns to work (sigh).

Monday, April 26, 2010

What I've Learned So Far...

In the two weeks of being a mother, I've learned the following:
  • You have to allot WAY more time to get both yourself and the baby ready to go out, even if it's a quick trip to get frozen yogurt at Razzy Fresh.
  • ALWAYS bring a second set of clothing in case of accidents (i.e. blowouts)
  • Diaper blowouts SUCK. We've had them about every other day.
  • Breastfeeding poop stains (yep, the swing, bedspread, and clothing)
  • Sleep when the baby sleeps is easier said than done but I'm working on it.
  • You can't please everyone and these days I don't aspire to. If your feelings are hurt, I'm sorry but this is not about you, me, or his other mother. It's about him and I will continue to make decisions that I feel are in his best interest.
  • I have a lot of patience for crying and I hope it will continue as tonight Preston has learned to exercise his lungs.
  • Driving alone with him in the car was not as scary as I thought it would be.
  • However, driving in the rain storm alone in the car was slightly scary.
  • I need to get out of the house daily if even for a walk around the block. The other day I didn't and I cried on and off the entire evening. It was not a good day. The following day I left Preston with Danielle for 1.5 hours so I could run to Target and Motherhood Maternity and I felt like a new woman.
  • A good nursing bra makes a huge difference. Thank god for my mini trip to Motherhood Maternity.
  • Breastfeeding does get easier like everyone said after the first two weeks. Preston now feeds on demand except at night when he still gets fed at 1am and 4am and my boobs are less leaky! Yay!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Pregnancy Weight

I stepped on the scale today to find out that I lost all 18 pounds of my pregnancy weight PLUS 5 additional pounds. Now it's time to lose my ttc weight and I'll be that yummy mummy in no time!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Happy Earth Day

Preston is doing his part and rockin' cloth diapers for Earth Day. I will TRY to upload a pic of each one throughout the day.

Happy Earth Day.

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Today was a good breastfeeding day. It seems like new issues arise one day and resolve itself the next. However today we fed on demand vs a three hour schedule which seemed to work out well. Hopefully he will continue this tomorrow.

I knew breastfeeding would be challenging and I have to remind myself on a daily basis that it will get easier.

In the hospital I was asked to pump after each feeding which caused WAY too milk when I got home. This was incredibly frustrating because I was leaking everywhere and would wake up completely soaked and shivering. It seems like that has gotten better.

Preston is a good feeder and latches well but sometimes he won't feed from both sides in one setting. The lactation specialist said this was okay but encouraged us to feed from both sides if possible.

Seeing the lactation specialist at the pediatricians office was helpful. She observed an entire feeding and gave some really helpful pointers. She introduced us to the cuzoodle nursing pillow which I fell in love with. I want one but im trying to justify the $70 price tag for a pillow. I think I can since I HATE the boppy and will use it multiple times on a daily basis.

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Sunday, April 18, 2010

My first week in review

Preston's Birth Story

To say I am in love is an understatement. From the moment I saw and held Preston, I was overwhelmed with emotion. Sometimes I just sit and look at him and become tearful at his existence. His birth was so amazing to me and I can't believe I created and carried such a precious gem.

His birth story started on Saturday when Danielle and I went to the chili fest as a distraction. It was a beautiful day and we had a great time together. We decided that night that I would try some castor oil to get things moving. Around 6pm I took some and by 7pm I was feeling the unpleasant effects of it. I went to bed early in hopes that I could get some rest before going in to labor. I just had a feeling. By 3am Sunday morning I woke up to what I thought were contractions. By 3:30am, I was sure that they were. The contractions were anywhere from 6-10 minutes apart, mostly around 6-7 minutes and lasted for a minute. I remember thinking thank god, they were only a minute long. Knowing that allowed me to get through them much easier. By 5am or 6am, I had to get out of bed to manage them. I watched tv, finished up laundry, finished packing our hospital bag, straightened up the house, ate breakfast, walked around and used the exercise ball. The breathing we learned in lamaze class really helped.

Around 10am, I went back upstairs and fell asleep with Danielle but didn't have another noticeable contraction for 50 minutes. I felt defeated at the time wondering how my contractions went from 6-7 minutes to 50. I thought "man, I went through all of that and it was false labor." Danielle felt defeated as well because she was so hopeful that it was the real deal and now we weren't sure.

Around 11am, I called Mr. Midwife who said he would be in the office doing paperwork and asked us to come in. From the sound of it, he too, thought it was false labor. We took a shower, packed the car with our things and met with him at 12:30pm. He did a cervical check and surprised us all (including himself he admitted) that I was already 4cm dilated and had just a little lip left that had to efface. His office is in a cute neighborhood with many shops so he encouraged us to walk around for another hour, get something to eat/drink and return to his office. So we did just that. I wasn't very hungry and could only tolerate a toasted bagel from Brueggers. I remember the cashier looking at me in concern as I dealt with contractions. Upon returning to the midwife's office, we learned that I was 5cm dilated and my water broke showing that our little guy had passed meconium in utero. So with that he encouraged us to go to the hospital and he would meet us there.

The man is like superman, by the time we got there and to the sign in desk, he was already in his scrubs waiting. I labored in the birthing room for 7 hours drug free on top of the 12 hours at home. The jacuzzi tub was heaven sent. It really helped ease the pain. However, by hour 19/20 in to my overall labor, I hadn't progressed past 7cm and I couldn't manage the pain anymore. I went off mentally to some other place. I remember during my second time in the jacuzzi, Danielle suggesting pain meds and at that point, I accepted. My goal was to try to have this birth drug free with the back up of an epidural and honestly, I have no regrets. I was really afraid of getting the needle in my back but as I was getting out of the jacuzzi, I remember wondering how fast the anesthesiologist could get to my room.

I laugh now because Danielle said I was really snippy with the anesthesiologist team. I remembering looking up to see about 3-4 extra people in my room and in my birth plan I wanted as few people as possible. I'm also all for med students and teaching moments but the med student who was administering my epidural took forever. The doctor who was observing/teaching her would show her and then have her do it. It really was a teaching moment and at the time not really appreciated by me because I was in so much pain. However, with that said, once it was in, I felt so much better. I still had movement in my legs and just felt pressure with each contraction.

About an hour and a half later it was time to push. I did a few pushes on my back and then got on my knees, faced the back of the bed, using it's upright position for support and pushed that way. Danielle said I pushed for 1.5 hours. It really didn't seem that long but I was just in another place mentally and lost track of time. Danielle said that she and Patrick were so up close and personal but instead of being grossed out, she was completely mesmerized watching his head move further and further down. When he started to crown, they packed a lot of ice around my bottom to deal with the burning sensation. I remember before the last push thinking, okay this really burns so I can either push and get him out or sit with this pain. With one more great push, he was out.

Because of the meconium, a doctor examined him right away to make sure he hadn't ingested any into his airways. He was then handed over to Danielle while I was being stitched up (tore slightly) and cleaned up (birth is sooooo messy) then handed over to me for some skin to skin time with warm blankets placed over us. The moment was magical. I get so overwhelmed at times to think that I carried him for 9 months and then here he is in my arms. He was truly worth all the wait, the 2 years of trying, the 16 tries, the heartache and sadness of bfn's after bfn's, the wanting and waiting, he was worth it all. I love him so much.

Friday, April 16, 2010

NICU day 3

Preston is doing much better as of yesterday afternoon. He's well hydrated and his soft plushy skin has returned. He is producing many wet diapers and has more energy during his feedings. His IV was removed from his hand and his jaundice uv lights were decreased. His billi level dropped to 11 as of this morning. They are looking for a reading below 12 with the ability to maintain it without lights so I think they will discuss testing that out today but I have to wait for his treatment team meeting later this morning to find out.

As for me Im holding up. I'm tired and my feet and legs are incredibly swollen again. Mr. Midwife strikes again and came to visit me yesterday to offer some support.

I'm excited at the possibility of him coming home tomorrow and can't wait to snuggle with him for hours on end. As of right now I only get to hold him for less than an hour every three hours for feedings. Poor Danielle gets even less time.

Anyway thank you all for putting us in your thoughts and prayers. Let's hope for a discharge for tomorrow.

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Thursday, April 15, 2010


I have so much to write about and so little time. Preston's birth was AMAZING and I am so in love with him. He was definitely worth the wait. A lot of you have sent emails, texts, and facebook messages checking in on us and I apologize for the delay or lack of responses. After being discharged home on Tuesday, Preston was admitted to the NICU Wednesday afternoon for jaundice. He left the hospital with a 13.7 reading and a follow up with his Pediatrician the following day. They are generally concerned about any reading over 14. After his appointment the Pediatrician sent us to have bloodwork done at the hospital where we delivered and after hearing the results, 19.x he was admitted directly to the NICU. He's doing incredibly well. Within the 10 hours that he's been here, his reading has gone down from 19.x to 14.7. They removed one of the lights and I'm hopeful that he will continue to do well and can be discharged tomorrow or at the very latest Friday.

I didn't understand the set up of the NICU prior to going and feared having to leave him there alone. It was heartbreaking and I'm amazed at the feelings you develop so quickly for your child. Even though rationally I knew that I hadn't made him sick, I felt that I had and felt helpless in being able to make him feel better on my own.

The NICU triage nurse, Stephanie, was a wonderful advocate for us. Because I'm exclusively breastfeeding, she was able to get us a nesting room overnight in the NICU so that both Danielle and I could stay with him but also rest. The room is down the hall from his room but the fact that we can be so close makes a world of difference. Because he's doing well he's able to come out of his incubator every 3 hours so I can breastfeed him. Stephanie instructed me pump in case his levels didn't drop. But because he's doing so well, we use it supplement after he nurses. Danielle was able to bottle feed him for the first time.

I click so well with some nurses and others, well...not so much. Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly appreciative of the work the nurses have done for us but some of them can really make you feel like crap. Once Preston was stabilized in triage, he was placed in his own room and Nurse Mary Ann took over his care. I swear, I was about to lose it if she suggested one more freaken time to give him formula. As a new parent in the NICU, you are already venerable and you really put your trust in the staff to guide you in the right direction but the fact that I was breastfeeding, his numbers were going down AND I had conceded to allowing a bottle of breastmilk, I was downright pissed off that she continued to bring up the idea of formula and it did nothing but make me stress out more about milk output which we all know is counterproductive. It felt like she was insinuating that my milk wasn't good enough. After his last feeding, I went over to pump what was left since he didn't really latch on to the left side and they only want him out for a short period of time to nurse and she questioned why I was doing that, that it didn't make sense, etc. Luckily the nurse who was taking over for her for the next shift, told her what I was doing was right and for me to continue. So then Mary Ann apologizes and proceeds to tell us how she "failed" at breastfeeding her children and doesn't know much about it. I was just so grateful that it was change of shift.

Anyway, it's almost time to feed my love again. I'll post his birth story another day.

Monday, April 12, 2010


Preston Tyler. He was born 4/11/10 at 11:23pm. He weighs 7 pounds, 6 ounces and is 21 inches long. Labor was over 20 hours. I'll post details and a pic later.

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Sunday, April 11, 2010

In labor

Contractions started at 3am this morning. They are definitely no fun but at this point manageable. We went to the midwife's office bc I couldn't feel him move and oddly enough the contractions decreased in frequency. However, I'm 4cm dilated. We were instructed to walk the neighborhood for an hour and grab something to eat. After that we will return to his office and then head to the hospital.

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Friday, April 9, 2010

Still Pregnant

Hi everyone, I just wanted to drop a note to let you know that I feel your support, labor vibes, and well wishes. I'm still pregnant but hope something kicks in to high gear today or over the weekend. I have periodic feelings of breathlessness, nausea (at night), and contractions but nothing consistent.

I officially started my maternity leave today and had a great pamper-me-day. I got my hair done, a wonderful pedicure, and met a friend for lunch and a long chat.

I'll keep you posted. I will post one last belly shot as requested later on.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Week 39w3d Check Up

We met with the midwife this morning. He did a cervical check and said I’m starting to thin out. I’m about 30% effaced right now but not dilated. He kept on reminding us about the possibility of going over 2 weeks but said that the thinning out is a good sign and thinks maybe the baby will come around his due date. Just as an aside... Danielle was born on her due date. I think the statistic of being born on your due date is something like 2% so it would be a cool thing for them to have in common. If by next Monday, which is my next appt, he’s still not here, I’ll have to go in for a non-stress test and another u/s to measure the amniotic fluid to make sure he’s okay. We will then schedule an induction to take place on the week of the 19th. He said he doesn’t think we’ll end up going that route but that’s the plan if we do.

BTW, I HATE cervical checks. They are painful and traumatizing. I cannot imagine keeping it together and having one while in labor.

My midwife suggested Evening Primrose. I hate the smell of the oil but I will start it tonight.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Those Little Things You Do

Have I ever mentioned that I have a wonderful partner? During this pregnancy Danielle has been so incredibly supportive. From the daily massages, to the empathic look and cuddle she gives me when she knows I don't feel great, I just feel really lucky to have gone through this experience with her. Sometimes I roll my eyes when she tells me I'm beautiful and will miss my huge belly but deep down it makes me feel good to know that she's still attracted to me even when I don't feel attractive. And while I'll miss the pampering and extra attention, I'm ready for our little guy to arrive. He's due this week and I'm praying that he comes on time. Either way, I start my maternity leave on Friday but I just hate the idea of wasting vacation time when he's not here.

Friday, April 2, 2010

My swollen feet

I hope my skinny ankles return. Fat ankles in heels just won't work for this future yummy mummy.

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