Friday, October 28, 2011

Baby Fever

I couldn't even conceive the idea of wanting another child until a few weeks ago. The idea of having two children scared the crap out of me. Not that I don't love children but I worried that time would be taken away from my son and I also worried where I would get the energy from to care of them. However, lately I've developed a terrible case of baby fever. I see a baby and get all warm and fuzzy and wishful. But at this time in my life, it's just not a good time to entertain the idea.

I wonder what it will be like to ttc again. Will it be as difficult both physically and emotionally? Will it take as long? Now that I'm two years older, will I have more challenges? Sometimes I think back to monitoring my cycles, peeing on a stick and it all feels like eons ago.

I'd love to give Preston a brother or sister. I'd love to give him one close in age. My brothers are 7 and 9 years older than I am. They were great to have around but hardly playmates for me. So on one hand there's motivation to entertain the idea but on the other hand it doesn't seem like the right time for me for various reasons.

Some day I suppose and if it doesn't happen...well I already got my wish and I will do everything to make his life as a single child the best I can.

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