Sunday, August 22, 2010

The Baby Milestone Police Really Don't Exist

Didn't I just post about being confident in my decisions? Well for a day or two, I actually lost my mind a little. I read 2-3 different things that said Preston should be sleeping through the night (which he does by their standards) but if he wakes up, he should be encouraged to self soothe himself back to sleep rather than being fed. So despite being absolutely okay with our current routine, I got myself in a tizzy because when Preston wakes up after 6-7 hours of solid sleep, I pull him in to bed with me when he starts to stir and nurse him. Keep in mind, that he never fully awakens and neither do I. Did I mention that this routine works really well for us?

So why, I felt the need to conform to the practices suggested in these articles is beyond me. Where was my confidence? I told you I lost my mind a little because that night Preston woke up around 4am and I gave him his pacifier and rocked him in his cradle. Well that clearly wasn't working because within less than 5 minutes, he's fully awake and crying and I'm fully awake and not happy. In the end, I said "to hell with this," pull him in to bed and nurse him. It was evident that the boy was hungry. He wasn't comfort sucking, he was clearly filling his tummy. As I drifted back to sleep, the words that I tell myself all the time came to me clear as day: "you have to do what feels right for you and your child." So screw the articles, we're going back to what works for us. Sometimes I have to remind myself that the baby milestone police really don't exist. So if he doesn't self soothe himself back to sleep at 4 1/2 months, that's quite alright.

4 comments:

Loralou said...

Quite right! Every child is different!

J and DZ said...

Yep. Do what's right for you and Preston because that's all that matters. Screw the experts.
I've been on that path with Sadie from the beginning. Parenting by instinct. I get myself in a heap of trouble reading about stuff (worryfest!) and someone told me before she was born to NOT read up on milestones.
We go with the flow.
For what it's worth, Sadie only started sleeping through the night at 7 months. I still feed her if she wakes and wants a bottle. I just gave her one now at 4:00 am. I don't see it as a set back.

anofferingoflove said...

its hard to tune out all the advice, both from well-meaning friends and from the "experts." i think you got it right when you said that you have to do what is right for YOU. nothing else really matters. so, i say: good for you for listening to your own child and to your own instincts. you will raise a secure, healthy child that way ((()))

luckyduck said...

I missed this post, somehow. Jack just started sleeping through the night at 12 months 2 weeks. He came to bed with me every night until 11 months 3 weeks. I try to live by the idea that if it feels right for me or the babies, it must be right for me or the babies! So good luck! Enjoy that baby while he is still little. Once he is moving/crawling, the world of co-sleeping changes