Back away from the thermometer

I don't even know what happened, I totally caved and temped yesterday and today. Heck, I think if I'm honest with myself, I did it on Saturday as well. I was doing so well. I wonder if I was going through an unconscious withdrawal because somehow it was in my mouth over the weekend. I don't even know why because at this point in the game, the temps aren't that significant. They are going to be up regardless. It's towards the end of the week they would matter to see if they are still elevated (indicating possible pregnancy) or if they've dropped (indicating that I have to prepare myself to do this all over again next month).

Speaking of doing it all over again next month, I seem to go through this thing where I psych myself out by telling myself I'm not pregnant. Then, in following suit with "The Secret"I reframe my thoughts and say something positive. I guess after 10 tries, there is a glimmer of hope but deep down I don't expect this month to be any different than the other 9 months. Maybe I do it so that I won't be that disappointed, who knows. Even though I am trying to think positive, I've been thinking that maybe I'll take a cycle off, save up enough money and start exploring IUI's. It is going to cost me about an extra $400 out of pocket it seems. I'll have to call and find out for sure. I was referred to an RE in the past but I didn't really like her and felt that I couldn't put up with her icy personality if she was going to look at my yoohoo each month. It would be just way too personal to even go there so I may seek out another office closer to my house and with less frigid doctors. But hopefully, I won't even need to pursue that idea because ladies and gentlemen, I am BFP Bound. It has to happen to me at some point right? <----- This is where you enthusiastically nod your head yes and say "of course it will Lisa."