From the early weeks of Preston's existence there has been this push, nag, if you will about giving Preston cereal. I would say that this all started around 5 weeks of age. I was adamant that this was not going to happen that early on. I've never once complained about breastfeeding my son or waking up in the middle of the night to feed him. Some people come from the school of thought that feeding them cereal at night in their bottle is the way to go. I do not attend classes at that school. Nor do I attend classes at the school where because so and so's mama did it, then you should do it too.
I have a friend who has been on my case about giving Preston cereal. I told her that at 4 months we would revisit the idea. Well during the 4 month check up, the doctor said I could continue to exclusively breastfeed Preston and revisit it over the next two months, keeping an eye out for cues that Preston may be ready. Clearly, my son is not underweight or malnourished. Well today I got an email from my friend saying in two days Preston is due to start cereal. When I told her our decision to hold off, she let loose on me saying I was depriving my son. She told me that I had promised her and Preston this (no, no, I don't think I did), and that she hopes that he doesn't seem satisfied by my breast milk and cries to be fed (cereal). Who says that to someone? And more importantly, why? I find it all quite peculiar and I'm still trying to understand how starting my son on cereal affects her directly or indirectly for that matter.
Is this what seasoned moms do to each other? Bully other moms in to conforming to their ways? Where is the respect for each other that says "I know you are a mom, you love your child and you are doing what you feel is right for your child. And while that may not be what I chose to do for my child, the decision is entirely yours." Yes, I'm a semi crunchy yummy mummy. Yes, I cloth diaper, exclusively breastfeed, plan to make my own baby food, co-sleep half of the night because we both fall asleep while breastfeeding at his 4am feeding, wear my child when we go out sometimes instead of using a stroller but dear god, I'm in no way putting my child's health in jeopardy. Her comments really struck me today. I am 100% confident with the decisions I make but I think if I didn't have the ego strength to support that, she could have easily crushed me. So what's the take away? Respect each other as moms.
Here's a pic of my little sunshine at the park yesterday:
14 comments:
This seems to e pretty common. I hear it over and over as well. People just would STFU about Sade starting solids. Drove me UP the wall.
We waited until 6 months and have been going slow. Our ped said to wait until 6 months and pretty much everything I've read said to exclusively BF or FF. You're doing nothing wrong!! People are just annoying!!
Big iPhone typos in that but you get the point. Lol (;
What the heck? That IS peculiar.
We actually started Manny on solids at 4.5 months which is considered very early out here (we did it because he wasn't gaining any weight). Many of my friends exclusively breast/formula fed until 6 months or later. Doctors recommend no earlier than 5 months out here.
you stick to your guns, he's your baby not hers (I find her whole conversation with you kind of wierd!! who's that interested in what another mother does with her own child!!)
Clearly that obviously malnourished child needs the empty, pathetic calories of tasteless cereal!
I pre-empt other pushy advice givers by being vague about any and all parenting choices! It is so annoying how mothers seem to tear apart one another!
Good job on your parenting decisions thus far. Your beautiful boy looks happy and healthy, and you seem happy and healthy, so you must be doing something right!
Jill
I'm so glad you are confident in yourself as a Mom. I agree, it is weird. I get pretty irked about names too. Why does someone else care what i name my kid, or any other kid. It doesn't matter if I like the name someone else picked, it is their kid not mine, why do they care so much what I named my kid? Bizarre.
I must tell you too, Preston is so stinking adorable! I love that latest pic you posted today. OMG, he is over the top cute.
Melissa in Durham
wow, it seems you are handling that much better than i would have. i am so annoyed FOR you! argh. that "friend" of yours is really out of line.
its true that other mothers seem to frequently want to impose "their way" on your parenting. i get a lot of grief about co-sleeping, cloth diapering, etc. but, you know what? i dont care. my partner and i are on the same page re: our parenting decisions and feel good about them - that is all that matters.
fwiw, we didnt give our girl solids until 6.5 months and even then, we started *really* slowly. listen to your baby and trust your instincts (())
oh, and that picture is TOO cute!!! :~)
Wow, it does seem odd this person is so worried about what you are feeding YOUR child! And 4 months does seem quite young. I know my Mother started my brother on cereal is his bottles around that time because he just never seemed satisfied by the formula, but if your little guy is fine exclusively BF I don't see why introducing cereal (or not) should be an issue.
How in the world could anyone look at that big beautiful baby and think he's not getting all the nutrition he needs? I just don't understand people sometimes.
How strange! Why is she taking your relationship with your son so personally?!? You are doing an excellent job with your little (BIG) man and shouldn't listen to anyone but yourself and Danielle. Stick to your guns and go with your gut and tell her to keep her nose out of your business. Maybe she should get a hobby like scrap booking!
it' weird the way that works. i agree, we should encourage. and not tear down. p doesn't have a growing issue and he will have the rest of his life to eat solid foods. there is no hurry!
Wow, well I know even though I have started Sydnee on baby food(I only give her it like every other day), If I told her doctor this, I'd be getting a lecture. I was told to not feed them until 5-6 months. So I dont see anything wrong with your decision. Preston is happy so I dont see what's the big deal is to your friend.
Its sad that women do this to each other. I got a lot of lectures and comments because Farty had cereal in the bottle from the time he was about 3-4 weeks old. I wouldn't have done that, but his reflux was so bad that the pediatrician ordered me to do it, since poor Farty was aspirating dluid into his lungs and choking. People called me lazy, accused me of not wanting to get up @ nite to feed him, on and on. But at the end of the day, I knew I was doing the best thing for my baby.
It seems you're damned if you do and damned if you don't!
P is adorable and looks like he's in no danger of being carried away on the next breeze!
I agree with you 100% about everything you say! I've just turned 20 and have no children of my own, but certainly plan on having them someday! I think parents have a right to make whichever decisions they feel are right when bringing up their children - unless of course they are obviously harmful to their wellbeing! I know for a fact that it has been medically proven that breastfeeding strenghtens a child's immune system up to one and a half years! My mother breastfed me untill around one year and never EVER fed me processed baby food... all I was fed was purréed (blended) adult food, mainly fruit, veg and potatoes/pasta. I was one of the healthiest children and my mum's doctor particularly commended her on how happy and healthy a baby she had!
So although I don't know you or your child, I think you are a wonderful mother and you should stick to your guns! I wish you all the best and hope people see you and take a leaf out of your book!
Vicky xxx
Post a Comment