Cry or not to cry it out?

Last week, during Preston's 9 month check up, his doctor spent some time giving us sleep advice. Preston, who was a great sleeper, has totally regressed. He pitches a fit and has a complete meltdown with snot and tears whenever he sees us leaving the room. Once upon a time, we could leave Preston fully awake in his crib and he would fall asleep without protest. He also started to wake up several times a night. The doctor we saw that day assured us that he should be sleeping through the night. He also strongly advocated the cry it out method, complete with handout. While crying it out didn't really gel with either of us, we listened to him, read his packet and decided to give it a while. Being a therapist, I completely understand behavior modification, conditioning, etc so it made sense that by going in whenever he started to pitch a fit just reinforced the behavior. But on the other hand I've spent the last 9 months creating this nurturing relationship that it seemed kind of harsh but I went along anyway.

Well lets just say, we're all still traumatized from trying it out. We did what the doctor instructed us to do... follow through with our usual routine: bath, nurse, story, and putting him in his crib. Allow him to cry for 2 minutes. Go in and reassure him that he was okay and then leave for the rest of the night. The poor kid was melting horribly. The wailing was insane. Three minutes after going in to check on him, we heard a loud thud, no crying, and then intense wailing. We rushed to his room to find that he had fallen out of his crib and was crawling towards the door trying to get to us. I will never forget that scene. He was a complete mess. Probably the worst I've ever seen him. Needless to say, we failed the challenge because we brought him to bed with us for the rest of the night.

The rest of the week was spent problem solving. By Thursday we remembered that we had a pack and play and set it up in our bedroom. I'm not sure if we are taking 3 steps back but it's working. Thursday, he woke up only once during the night and last night he slept the entire night. Maybe he just needs us close by right now. The goal is to get him to the point where he sleeps through the night (or waking up just once around around 5am) and then transition back to his room and hopefully back to his crib. The crib is on the lowest setting and right now, I'm just really apprehensive about placing him in it. The bruise on his face is a constant reminder and doesn't make me really eager to put him back. We actually placed him in the crib one evening and he attempted to get out again by swinging his arm over as though he was reaching for the floor. Luckily, we were there and intervened. but I suppose that's how he fell the first night. I also think that we tried to work on his sleep issues at the wrong time. We just got back from vacation 2 days prior to his 9 month check up. He had us 24/7 for 10 straight days. The only time I wasn't with him was for an hour on my birthday when I went to the casino on the cruise ship. He spent half of the cruise in the Ergo so it's not surprising that he developed some separation anxiety.

So for now, we will not be following the cry it out method. I'm not sure what I'm doing is the best thing for him overall but it feels right and I've parented so far by what feels right so we'll see.

Sleep

Sleeping through the night was awesome but short lived. The following week Preston got sick and it went downhill from there. He still has a cold and we are leaving for our annual cruise vacation in the morning so I don't see sleeping through the night returning any time soon. It's not even sleeping through the night that's my issue as much as it's going to sleep.

We have a pretty set nighttime routine: pj's, nurse, story time, kiss, bed. However, as soon as he senses that we are getting close to the door he starts to cry and stands up. I lay him back down telling him it's bedtime and leave. This goes on for about 20 minutes. I remember the days where we could leave him in his cradle fully awake and it wouldn't phase him. Eventually he would go to sleep. Now, even if he is incredibly tired, he fights it.

My brother assures me that all night sleeping is around the corner and this will all be a distant memory.

When we return from vacation I'm determined to put a little more effort in to getting him to sleep and not taking the easy route by bringing him in to bed with us and nursing/cuddling him back to sleep.

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2011

2010 was pretty amazing due to the birth of our son.

In 2011 I hope to:
- try running.
- if running takes off, try a 5k
- move
- buy a new car


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Merry Christmas

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Emotional Ouch

Last evening Preston went on strike and refused to nurse. After an hour of crying, screaming and refusing to go to bed despite being exhausted, Danielle handed him a bottle of pumped milk and he instantly went to sleep. So much for thinking he wasn't feeling well, had gas, or that I ate something that made my milk taste bad. To be totally honest, my feelings were hurt. It felt like utter rejection. Now while I know that my 8 month old doesn't have the capacity to be intentionally hurtful or be angry because I didn't make it to daycare at lunch to visit him like i usually do, or be upset at the memory or my stern voice the day before, man did it sting.

So I went to bed now eager to go in and console him at 2am and that little bugga didn't even wake up! He slept the ENTIRE night. I woke up at 6:15am to check on him and brought him to bed to nurse, which he did.

So he nursed while sleeping. Great right? No. To make things worse, I got my monthly breastfeeding newsletter email this morning and what was this months topic? Weaning.

I haven't really given weaning much thought. I just automatically assumed that we'd nurse until his first birthday. I know I'm jumping the gun. One evening of not nursing doesn't mean our breastfeeding relationship is coming to an end but I guess I have to consider it right? The thought makes me ill. Hopefully, it was just a fluke. I mean he exclusively breastfed our entire trip without any problems (we were just in Florida visiting grandparents). Last night was the first time he refused the breast.

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Ouch

We are 36 weeks in to our breastfeeding relationship and it wouldn't be a relationship without a bump or two in the road right?

Last night Preston bit me twice while nursing. Both were towards the end when he was just grazing and playing. The first time I ignored it but removed him. The second time I told him "no" in a stern voice. Well talk about mommy guilt. He looked up at me with those bright brown eyes and his lip quivered. It was a look of surprise from the sound of my voice and hurt that I would use that voice and take the boob away. We went back to nursing a little later on with a better outcome. I'm not sure I'll ever forget that look.

The other bump has to do with Preston instituting a 2am feeding. If I go to his room to console him, he spits his binky out and wails louder and louder until I give in and nurse him. So tonight we are going to switch it up a bit and send Danielle in. I know he will fall asleep if she rubs his back or face.

Fingers crossed.
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Recommendations please

We are going on our annual cruise next month. This time with Preston. I'm debating on whether to lug my full size stroller or invest in an umbrella stroller. My friend thinks we should buy a cheap $20 stroller but Danielle and I are both very tall and I refuse to be hunched over all week. So we're looking for a lightweight stroller that reclines and is ergonomically suitable for tall people. Any recommendations? I've heard great things about McClarens.

P.S. I'm also bringing my Ergo because we never leave home without it. It's an absolute life saver.

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