My Mum is Awesome

I (subconsciously?) forgot that I had yet ANOTHER baby shower to attend next weekend. I really don't have time this week to go shopping for gifts so I called my mum last night at 9:30pm and asked her if she could make a gift for me to take and by 1pm this afternoon, she emailed pics of what she made. The woman is a amazing. The package includes two fitted cloth diapers, two pacifier clips, two matching non-slip hair bows, and travel diaper/changing kit. All I have to add is a pretty box and a BRU gift card and it's a wrap. Talk about taking a load of my

shoulders.

For our trip to LA she's making us beach towel bags which I think are so cool because they hold things like your book, sunglasses, sunscreen, and whatever else you want to bring to the beach and then once you get there, you just pull it open and lay out. Then when you're done, you just stuff everything back in there and you're off.


Gracie had a good time at puppy school. She was by far the youngest and smallest. We learned sit, lay down, return, and focus where the pup looks at you and only you while walking. The latter two lessons were a little advanced for Gracie but she's pretty much mastered sit and we are still working on lay down. She tends to army crawl to get the treat instead of just laying down. There's no school next Saturday because of the holiday so she has a lot of time to practice her homework.

It's a hit

It's an hour later and she's still playing with it.

Gracie's Going to School

Yep, Gracie's off to school....Puppy School. Thank you Claire for suggesting it. I remember seeing an ad at Petco before we got her and completely forgot about it. I called around today and got an awesome deal at our local community college, 8 sessions for only $59 and it's on a Saturday at 1pm. Petco's classes were $110 for 6 sessions and they were at 8am on a Saturday morning. I mean, seriously, who the hell wants to be anywhere at 8am, especially on a Saturday?

I think Danielle and I are more excited about her going to school than she is. Of course she was full of excitement when we told her but it could have also been because we were home. I think I'll get a lot out of it because I've never had a dog before. I just Gracie is going to be a star student and the puppy all the other pups want as their BFF.

Melissa and Gayby, I am off to buy her a Kong tomorrow. She seems to have a long attention span so I'm sure she'll enjoy getting treats from it. Jess and AnOffering, thanks for reminding me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Gracie, PLEASE!

Exhausted, discouraged and guilty are three good adjectives to describe how I feel. Gracie is a handful. I've had several moments where I just wish she came to us already trained. The potty issue isn't even the biggest stressor. We bought her the Rascal Dog Litter and she is getting the gist of it. She'll go when we put her in there but she still needs to work on going in there on her own. She's done it about 3-4x's on her own and she goes when we go outside. We've only had two wee wee accidents on the carpet which is better than I hoped for but I'm still thinking of investing in the Bissell Little Green because Slice throws up now at least once a week (a whole other issue).

The biggest issue is her incessant whining, crying, and barking when we leave her alone. I know it's hard for her being away from her siblings and mother but it's really taking a toll on everyone. The poor cat has pretty much restricted himself to the second floor. We've tried transitional objects with her like the heartbeat puppy bone. We turn it on when she goes in her crate to let her know it's alone time but she freaks out. I'm finding that she is freaking out more than she did on Friday and it doesn't last just 5 minutes. No it lasts a long time. I just don't know how to manage this behavior. Aside from that she's fine. She loves to play. She loves to snuggle by your feet and fall asleep. She loves dress up and going outside. It's just being alone that she hates. Any suggestions?

On a ttc note, it was a no go this time around. It's really interesting being on the other side of the stick. I find that although I'm disappointed, I'm not heartbroken like when I'm the person poas. However, I don't think I realized how Danielle was going to take it. I mean she's still a trooper and she knew statistically that it wouldn't happen on the first try but I think she's a little more bummed out about it than I expected. I stupidly didn't go in for my follie check on day of +opk because I took the test at 11am and in order to comply with my RE's rules, you have to test at 6:45am to get the same day testing. So I'll do it next month and we will continue with Danielle.

Gracie's Here

Gracie came home today. She is adjusting well so far. A few accidents but it's to be expected I suppose. She napped most of the day, probably because she went to the vet earlier and had a shot. However, she enjoys being on the pillow Danielle's mom left at our house. Slice is very leery of her. He spent most of the day hiding upstairs and when he does come downstairs, he sniffs around but won't relax. I feel so bad for him but I hope he will adjust.

We booked our summer vacation to Los Angeles today. It's for the end of August but I can't wait.

BBQ Weekend

Saturday: was awesome. My friend Tiffany and her husband Bill came over for the Jamaican themed bbq. With a few phone calls to my mum to find out how to make certain things, everything came out great. Pictured is the fish dinner with plantains. I didn't take a picture of the jerk chicken but it came out good as well. Tiffany made Berry Mojitos which were so delicious especially after we broke out the firepit and just enjoyed being outside. It was really nice to enjoy our hard work.

Sunday: Danielle's mom and sister came over for hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill. I was so groggy from some medicine that I took last night that I wasn't exactly the social butterfly but I think they had a good time. Gracie came over for a day visit. It was the first time being away from her mom and siblings but she did good. I'm realizing how much work she's going to be. Slice wanted nothing to do with her and instead of sitting in the window like he usually does, he spent the afternoon sleeping upstairs.

TTC: Danielle is doing good. She's handling the tww like a champ. No anxieties, just waiting for me to hand her an htp when the time comes. Even though she would like to get a bfp this time around, she is surprisingly realistic that the chances of it happening the first time around are slim. Wow, I wish I had that same thought process back then.

Jamaican me Crazy- It's Friday

It's finally Friday. Thank you Jesus!

It's suppose to be nice tomorrow so we are going to enjoy the fruits of our labor from last week and bbq with some friends. I plan to make:

• Jerk Chicken- It's a spicy season rub that you put on chicken, fish, or pork.
• Salad to counter the spiciness
• Plantain
• Grilled fish with mango salsa on the side.
• Maybe some tropical fruits for dessert to go with the Caribbean theme which I just now realized I had. Jamaica is not really known for it's desserts. They eat a lot of fruits such as papaya, guava, pineapple, mango, etc.
• Limeade- same as lemonade but with limes. So delish
• And because I'm not ttc- ALCOHOL!!!!!!!!!! Yummy frozen alcoholic drinks. Sorry Danielle.

That's what she said

I had my consultation with the RE this morning. She offered IVF, suggested maybe Danielle taking over (which she already has) and told me that although meds help increase my chances of getting pregnant, I don't need them. If I wanted to continue ttc naturally (well as natural as it is for a lesbian couple) I could and still have a chance of getting pregnant because there is nothing medically preventing that but the darn sperm and egg being shy of each other. My tubes are open, E2 and progesterone levels are where they should be and I'm healthy. To ease my mind that I can produce a good follie without medication, I'm going in for u/s and b/w after my +opk this cycle and then b/w the week after. If my follie is good then I may continue to ttc with Danielle. Not twin cycle ttc but tag team ttc.

Last night's insem went well. I was able to use a speculum and get the catheter inside of her cervix (sorry if that is tmi). I felt really good about the process. Lets just hope we can see two lines at the end of ths.

I'll upload some final pictures of the backyard later this week. I finished up a lot today but I still have to buy the fire pit and chairs for the patio and some baskets. I just couldn't bring myself to go to Home Depot for the 7th time in 72 hours.

DIY Backyard: Before and After

We are EXHAUSTED and sore. Our bodies ache, make that hurt, but it was worth it because we are almost done. I just have to plant a few more flowers, hang some baskets, accessorize and clean up. Next week, we'll attempt painting the deck. In the meantime, here are some pics. Keep in mind, our backyard is tiny because we live in the city. There's about 2 feet (if that) between our house and our next door neighbors.

PICTURES

On a TTC note, Danielle got a +opk this morning at 11am and another one at 6:30pm. I'm off to thaw the goods, do the deed and watch a movie in bed while the little guys do their job. I can't wait to see what she's like in her tww.

Summer Projects- Day 1

- 4 trips to Home Depot (x 2 cars)
- 2 people approaching me with questions at Home Depot because I am wearing an orange t-shirt
- A possibility of going slightly over budget
- Patio area dug out and sanded. Just waiting to lay the stones (weighing 37 pounds each)
- Some sod laid out, will do the other half tomorrow
- 4 flats bought, need flower boxes for them
- 78 interlocking blocks to build flower bed
- 1 really hard working guy from Craigslist who happens to work for a landscaping company and brought all of his tools with him (score!!!!!)

Results: We are on our way. It looks nice. I think a bbq is in order next week.

Summer Projects Take II

Okay I think the contractor who came to give our estimate this morning has a serious coke problem. The guy couldn't stop sniffling and then at one point in the pitch he left, went to god knows where (his car? the front porch?) probably to use. The guys just looked at each other and then one of the other workers took over the pitch. They were terrible. It's a shame that it only took one guy (the one who happens to own the company) to ruin the job for all of them. I just got a sense that although the rest of the guys seemed okay, Jay, just didn't seem reliable. So it looks like this is going to be a Do-It-Yourselfer.

Today's To do List:
-post an ad on Craigslist to get a few guys to help with some of the manual labor
-Price tool rentals

Try #15- A Bust

I tested this morning and it was negative. I'm so incredibly sad that things couldn't turn out differently for me. I worry that this is affecting me way more than I want it to. I'm heartbroken, I feel broken, and I'm incredibly angry that I've gained so much weight from pumping myself up with all of these meds and not having anything to show for it other than shame for not being the thin person I was pre-ttc. I was horrified when I stepped on the scale this morning.

My RE wants me to come in and have a consultation with her but what can she suggest other than upping my meds and IVF? My FSA money is almost gone for another Gonal F round and I absolutely don't have out of pocket funds for IVF. I would consider an IVF loan but I fear that it won't work and I'll be stuck with this debt that will be a monthly reminder for a few years of my body failing me yet again.

I think the only saving grace in this is that Danielle should get a +opk this week and we'll be in the tww again.

Summer Projects

• Landscape backyard in time for Gracie's arrival
• Add a gate to backyard so Gracie doesn't escape and can romp around freely.
• Start a veggie garden (is it too late)? At least get the topsy turvy tomato planter.
• Buy a firepit and use it. I know, it's not ecofriendly.
• Have a bbq to celebrate my backyard.
• Lose 25 pounds
• Vacation in LA
• Follow the "Couch to 5K" Podcast on Itunes that's already downloaded onto my Ipod. I just have to get off the damn couch. I've always wanted to be a runner. Actually I ran track my freshman year of college only because there was a boy I liked on the team and I wanted to be near him. I sucked in comparison but I was a runner for a year.

TTC: I'm 12dpo today. I haven't tested. Sometimes thinking that there's still a possibility is better than learning the truth so that you don't sulk until AF arrives. But I do have to test by Wednesday because I'll need to order jizz in time for Danielle's +opk later on this week. I called our bank and the new black guy is finally available so it's great timing.