Drive by update

It feels like I'm neglecting my blog but truly I just don't have that much to write about.

Gracie- is doing much better. We went to our second class at puppy school. This week's lesson was heel, come, and walking forward on a leash. She was able to get it a few times. The way our teacher tells us to teach her gives us a few laughs. After school we took her to a street festival which she seemed to enjoy for all of the attention.

Slice- is now able to stand his ground and hiss at Gracie and then run away. Prior to that he would hiss while running away. He's able to get closer to her but if Gracie chases him, he's outta there. Luckily Gracie hasn't realized that she can actually climb the stairs.

Vacation- Only 6 weeks away. It feels like a long time from now but I know it will go by fast. After L.A. I think it's time to plan for another cruise. I'm telling you, they are so addictive.

TTC- I'm going in for some testing this week. Not sure if I should actually ttc this month at home or not. I'm worried about ordering and finding out that my follicle size isn't what it should be. Danielle will ttc in the upcoming cycle. The timing of ordering was off this month.

Gracie, PLEASE!

Exhausted, discouraged and guilty are three good adjectives to describe how I feel. Gracie is a handful. I've had several moments where I just wish she came to us already trained. The potty issue isn't even the biggest stressor. We bought her the Rascal Dog Litter and she is getting the gist of it. She'll go when we put her in there but she still needs to work on going in there on her own. She's done it about 3-4x's on her own and she goes when we go outside. We've only had two wee wee accidents on the carpet which is better than I hoped for but I'm still thinking of investing in the Bissell Little Green because Slice throws up now at least once a week (a whole other issue).

The biggest issue is her incessant whining, crying, and barking when we leave her alone. I know it's hard for her being away from her siblings and mother but it's really taking a toll on everyone. The poor cat has pretty much restricted himself to the second floor. We've tried transitional objects with her like the heartbeat puppy bone. We turn it on when she goes in her crate to let her know it's alone time but she freaks out. I'm finding that she is freaking out more than she did on Friday and it doesn't last just 5 minutes. No it lasts a long time. I just don't know how to manage this behavior. Aside from that she's fine. She loves to play. She loves to snuggle by your feet and fall asleep. She loves dress up and going outside. It's just being alone that she hates. Any suggestions?

On a ttc note, it was a no go this time around. It's really interesting being on the other side of the stick. I find that although I'm disappointed, I'm not heartbroken like when I'm the person poas. However, I don't think I realized how Danielle was going to take it. I mean she's still a trooper and she knew statistically that it wouldn't happen on the first try but I think she's a little more bummed out about it than I expected. I stupidly didn't go in for my follie check on day of +opk because I took the test at 11am and in order to comply with my RE's rules, you have to test at 6:45am to get the same day testing. So I'll do it next month and we will continue with Danielle.

That's what she said

I had my consultation with the RE this morning. She offered IVF, suggested maybe Danielle taking over (which she already has) and told me that although meds help increase my chances of getting pregnant, I don't need them. If I wanted to continue ttc naturally (well as natural as it is for a lesbian couple) I could and still have a chance of getting pregnant because there is nothing medically preventing that but the darn sperm and egg being shy of each other. My tubes are open, E2 and progesterone levels are where they should be and I'm healthy. To ease my mind that I can produce a good follie without medication, I'm going in for u/s and b/w after my +opk this cycle and then b/w the week after. If my follie is good then I may continue to ttc with Danielle. Not twin cycle ttc but tag team ttc.

Last night's insem went well. I was able to use a speculum and get the catheter inside of her cervix (sorry if that is tmi). I felt really good about the process. Lets just hope we can see two lines at the end of ths.

I'll upload some final pictures of the backyard later this week. I finished up a lot today but I still have to buy the fire pit and chairs for the patio and some baskets. I just couldn't bring myself to go to Home Depot for the 7th time in 72 hours.

Summer Projects

• Landscape backyard in time for Gracie's arrival
• Add a gate to backyard so Gracie doesn't escape and can romp around freely.
• Start a veggie garden (is it too late)? At least get the topsy turvy tomato planter.
• Buy a firepit and use it. I know, it's not ecofriendly.
• Have a bbq to celebrate my backyard.
• Lose 25 pounds
• Vacation in LA
• Follow the "Couch to 5K" Podcast on Itunes that's already downloaded onto my Ipod. I just have to get off the damn couch. I've always wanted to be a runner. Actually I ran track my freshman year of college only because there was a boy I liked on the team and I wanted to be near him. I sucked in comparison but I was a runner for a year.

TTC: I'm 12dpo today. I haven't tested. Sometimes thinking that there's still a possibility is better than learning the truth so that you don't sulk until AF arrives. But I do have to test by Wednesday because I'll need to order jizz in time for Danielle's +opk later on this week. I called our bank and the new black guy is finally available so it's great timing.

My week so far

It's a girl: It was a very hard decision but I think we are going to choose the girl puppy. Tonight we went over to Donna's house (Danielle's mom) to play with them. The girl is very feisty and playful. The boy is so adorable and very laid back, which I like but given the feedback, advice, size, match for the cat, etc I think the girl will be a better fit. We still have a few weeks to make a final decision but I think it's going to be the girl.

CD 2: Danielle has officially started her River Cycle. In Texas Hold 'Em, you are dealt two cards. The first three cards on the table is called the flop, the fourth card is the turn, and the fifth card is the river. You use your two cards plus three of the cards on the table to come up with the best hand. A devastating moment in a hand is when you feel like you have the best hand but the river (last card) comes and it gives someone else the best hand. This is known as "getting rivered." So as previously mentioned, Danielle has likened my last try to a poker hand (KJ suited) and right now we feel like I have the best hand (acupuncture, fate, the luck of the draw, good sperm count, good response to the meds, timing, etc). However, as we know, we can have a perfect cycle and then it can be a bust. So if I get rivered (like the last 14 times) by life, this will be Danielle's cycle. Long explanation, I know and if you are curious as to why Danielle has likened my last cycle to poker it's because she loves poker. We will only have a few days between finding out the fate of my cycle and possibly insemming her. It kinda feels nice not having to wait two more weeks before trying again even if it is with her.

Etsy: My mom made her first Etsy sale. She is totally thrilled and I'm happy for her. Trying to maintain that site has become a second job for me. Thanks everyone who went over to view it.

The girls: We are going to visit my nieces this weekend. Logan (age 4) is one of my favorite people. She's incredibly affectionate and just says some pretty funny things at times. Last weekend Danielle and I had fun buying the girls clothes at the Carter Store (love that shop). I've also gone a little mad with summer toys: Frisbee, jump rope, 3D chalk, bubbles, and lacross sticks (only because my brother played in college). I'm hoping to get a good game of hopscotch in. Honestly, I don't even remember how to play it. Google it, I suppose unless anyone else knows.

Oh and me: I'm 7dpo today. No signs or symptoms of anything. Just biding time. I was going to test over the weekend but Danielle suggested we wait and now that we are visiting the girls, it will be a great distraction.

Well peeps, I hope this short work work is serving you well. I know I can't wait for Friday.

Memorial Day Weekend

Trying to find somewhere to go to over Memorial Day weekend is proving to be a lot tougher than expected. Danielle is agreeable to just getting out of town whereas I want to go somewhere hot, sunny and with a beach. Here's what we've looked at:

• Camping with another couple (one of Danielle's coworker/friends)... could be fun but could also be disastrous. I'm not big into hanging out with coworkers. Danielle hates camping but was the one who suggested it. I've done it once and actually liked it. Would have to go buy camping gear and the idea of not having a hot shower isn't what I exactly had in mind.
  
• Rehoboth Beach- could visit a friend who lives there. It's a 6.5 hour drive. Not sure how hot it will be and I think the water will still be cold. Could end up costing the same amount if we go somewhere that is definitely warm.
• Atlantis. Nassau, Bahamas- A girl can dream.


• A weekend cruise on Royal Caribbean- It leaves it on Friday at 5pm. I work that day and can't get it off. Now, that would have been fun. The two ports of call are two of my favorite.
• Fort Lauderdale- no reason in particular for this location but there's a beach, shopping, and the ability for me to work on my tan (lol) and read in the sun on a sandy beach. Danielle is not sure she wants to spend that much for a few days in the sun.
• Las Vegas- Danielle's favorite playground. We found some decent prices but it can end up being pricey. We both enjoy playing poker.
• Los Angeles- Normally I would jump all over this idea. I would love to see my friend Erica, there are beaches, but it feels like there's way too much stuff to do in such a short weekend. The flight alone takes up a lot of time. Our original plan was to make this our summer vacation spot when we would have more time to sight see.
• Staying home and doing nothing- sigh!

I'm open to suggestions. Think warm/hot, sunny, beachy, not too too expensive.

On a ttc note: If I recall from my college days of taking bcp's, af should arrive when I get to the white placebo pills. If that is the case, my day 3 u/s will be on Saturday. Fingers crossed that the cyst shrunk and I can move on with my last try. I just want to get it over and done with. Now that's the spirit eh? lol.

ETA: Just realized that af will start when the placebo pills end not start. So that means my day 3 u/s will be next Saturday.

The Bug

I envy Samantha Brown from the Travel Channel. She has what I feel like is the coolest, most glam job ever. She gets to travel around the world, enjoy the perks of the best hotels, experience different cultures, and eat great food on someone elses dime. Even her wardrobe is taken care of. Who wouldn't love to get paid to travel and try out cool excursions? After watching a few of her shows over the weekend I have the travel bug.

I'm dying to take Danielle to England. Although I didn't grow up in London (I grew up further north in Leeds), I think that's where I'd like to take her and spend most of our time. We would make an exception to see my brother who lives outside of London. However, the cost of flying to the UK is outrageous and the currency conversion from dollars to pounds sucks!

My other itch is to be on a beach. I've heard great things about South Beach but I also get the feeling it's a little spring break like and have no desire to be around drunk college students. I guess it doesn't help that my parents just left for Jamaica this morning so I'm feeling quite envious.

Danielle and I generally usually reserve our vacations for the winter months, simply because I'd rather be on a beach during the winter and enjoy the warm weather at home during the summer. But I'm wondering if maybe we can switch it up. However, Danielle refuses to go on vacation if she's pregnant.

Yep, you read right, Danielle and pregnant were in the same sentence. Our ttc journey has been a long one. I started ttc two years ago, 14 tries ago, thousands and thousands of dollars ago, you get the picture. Although there's nothing more in the world I want to be than be pregnant, I've also gotten to a place where I just want to start our family. And if that means I have to bow out and let Danielle take over, well then I'm just going to have to put on my big girl panties (not to be confused with granny panties) and let her try.

So the plan is to monitor her this month while I do my last round of injectables. If I get a bfn, then she will take over in May and try several times and I'll take over for a few tries until one of us gets a bfp. I feel like knowing my luck she will get pregnant on the first try and I will then have to deal with what that implicates about me. But that's the goal right? For one of us to get pregnant this year.

Talking about wearing my big girl panties, I've been invited to not one but two baby showers this month and one next month. What's the icing to all of this? Yesterday, I was asked to co-host one of them. What was I going to say? No. All invitations are from dear friends so this calls for the Victoria Secret panties. I figure if I'm going to do this, I might as well do it with some mental flair. I'd lie if I said this isn't going to be incredibly hard for me. Receiving the cute invitation in the mail on the day AF started was hard enough, then I opened up my trap and gave away my baby shower theme and the co-host loves it and wants to use it. So now I have to work hard on coming up with another theme that she will love just as much and want to use.

So I'm taking suggestions for baby shower themes and vacation spots.

What I did today

I fell and I voted today. What a day!!!!

I woke up this morning and on my way to the kitchen fell down the first flight of stairs. I'm in so much pain and have a bump and bruise on my arm. I can laugh now but I honestly don't know how I fell. One minute I was up and the next I was balled up against the wall. LOL!

I was only the 91st person to vote at my station this morning at 11am. I hope it picks up.

On a ttc note, I took a hpt yesterday to make sure the trigger shot was out of me and it was. So it's only positives from here on out!!!!

Gearing up for round thirteen

While I've thoroughly enjoyed my break, I'm getting excited and a little antsy to ttc again. Although breaks generally suck whether they are forced or voluntary, they do help. Anyway, I'm getting my checklist together. I still need to get alcohol swabs and a sharps container. After temping for over a year, it is going to be so weird not to temp this cycle or use opks. What will I do with myself every morning? It's become a part of my routine. I've decided that I'm not even going to temp during the tww because I've had such misleading charts in the past that it's not worth it. But who am I kidding? There's no way I can go without having some kind of information during the tww, so my supply of internet cheapies will be in the mail soon.

As far as our cruise, it's been so much fun looking at different excursions for us to go on. However, we may end up being a little limited if I am pregnant. I've found one that just seems so adventurous and a little scary. You almost look like a little alien but I bet it's fun.

We are on our way

I'm so freaken excited. This week, we paid for our cruise and got a really nice deal with an on board credit. We got one on our last cruise that we used to pay for snorkeling and a buy-in to a poker tournament which Danielle placed 2nd! I love my little professional poker player (P3). Our cruise leaves on January 11th and goes to Puerto Rico, St. Thomas and St. Maarten. I'll be in Puerto Rico for my birthday which is really exciting.

I have about 1 more week until we are back in the ttc game. I've really enjoyed my break. It's been so stress free these past few weeks and I can't tell you how many pina coladas I've had. It's been great hanging out with friends and just doing things that I usually won't do during the tww.

Danielle and I have been doing our own Biggest Loser contest and while I've lost a few pounds, Danielle has done fantastic and has lost 10 pounds so far. I'm so proud of her. We are going to look fantastic on our cruise, pregnant belly or not.

Why is this happening to me?

Why is this happening to me? Seriously, I'm a ttc veteran. I've been there, done that. I'm not suppose to get caught up. I'm suppose to be immune to all of this nonsense. After about my fifth cycle I stopped reading into every little twinge, burp, and niggle. I know how powerful the brain can be in creating fake symptoms and making you believe you are pregnant when really you're not so why is this happening to me now? Now, at month 19 and cycle 12.

Of all people, trust me, I know it is waaaaayyyy too early to even experience the things I'm experiencing and I'm attributing them to my new work schedule. But if I am truly pregnant I will apologize to all of the whiny, suburban housewives on BBC birth boards who already have like 4+ children and are acting like this is their first pregnancy asking ridiculous questions like "I farted today, do you think I'm pregnant?" or "my boobs look veiny today, do you think I'm pregnant?" (that one is one of my favorites).

I think I'm having these fake symptoms because I've already convinced myself that I'm pregnant. Lisa, get a grip of yourself!!! I'm going to end up like that one lady on tv who convinced herself that she was pregnant that her body started to produce hormones and her stomach grew into a pregnancy tummy (did I ever tell you I hate the word belly?). Pray for my sanity people, pray hard!

Testing is in 6 days.

A Vespa= going green?

They're cute, they're tiny, they scream me!!! I don't even know where I got the idea but a few weeks ago, I got the idea that I want a Vespa. They are so Euro and so eco-friendly. Well maybe that's a stretch but you get about 70mpg, which in essence means you are using less gas which is eco-friendly right? I could just see me vepsing (yes, I made that word up) around town, back and forth to work.

Ladies night out with the blog girls is driving me nuts!!! In fear of sounding like an addict, all week I've been wanting a glass of wine, a fruity slushy alcoholic beverage, or a glass of bailey's. I log on to read everyone's blogs and what does everyone have? Delicious looking Sex on the Beach, Daiquiris and shots on their blog pages. WHYYYYYYYY? Why must you all inadvertently taunt me? LOL! Only teasing, I love the idea of celebrating our ttc journey. Cheers to all! Tomorrow I'm suppose to go to Sandbar, which is an outdoor beach themed club for a friend's birthday. You know because its beach themed they are going to have beachy drinks. I'd love to indulge but on the other hand I kind of have to protect this costly investment potentially going on inside of me. So for now, I'll just have a virtual drink. Let me tell you, its NOT the same.

Speaking about the beach, I called my parents (they live in FL) to say hi and they tell me they won't be home for a few days, they are going to St. Kitts for a few days. MUST BE NICE!!!! But I guess this is what retirement is all about. I just wish they invited me.

On a ttc note.... Sometimes for s&g (shits and giggles) I temp in the evening just to get an idea of what may happen in the morning. Anyway, my temps are a little low so I'm curious about that. I'm kind of hoping for IB this weekend just to give me some hope but I know it doesn't always happen to women who end up being pregnant. I don't have any real or imaginary symptoms to report. Those don't usually kick in until the 1ww so stay posted.

I've moved the poas day to Wednesday (11dpo) or Thursday (12dpo). I only have 2 FRER and I don't want to buy any more.