Danielle and I recently had a discussion about godparents. I'm really trying to understand their purpose in order for us to choose the right people. I've heard so many things such as they are to provide religious guidance, be the person who cares for your child should the parents die, someone who is a support for the child, as well as other things. My godmother is my mother's cousin and my godfather is my dad's best friend. They both still live in England but as a small child I remember my godfather coming over to visit and bringing both my brother and I treats. My brothers have different godparents from myself and each other. Neither of theirs were really all that involved.
I suppose for me, I see their role as being a support "aunt/uncle" like figure in the child's life. If Danielle and I should die, the child would live with a family member as a first option, not them. And as far as religion, I have no problem with them doing that but I'm not sure all of my friends would be able to fulfill that task.
I know some people choose family members. Danielle's sister was very hurt that she was not in the running to be the godmother. I think she had just assumed she would get the role but personally, I'd like to choose someone who isn't a family member as family members already have a role/title in our child's life. Growing up I always thought it would be my best friend Dina. Our friendship had drifted at one point but seems to pretty strong again as of late. My friend Erica seems to be the person who comes to mind. Danielle is in agreement but struggles with the fact that she already has several godchildren. However, they are all girls. For us, having a male role model in our child's life is important. My brother lives 3 hours away, my dad is a 2 hour flight, and Danielle's brother doesn't like me (long very dramatic stereotypical gay boy story), my good male friend doesn't seem to have any interest in children, and we lack male friends that live geographically close that would serve good role models. Erica's brother was once our donor. I thought about him but he too lives in LA with his sister. Now, when we move to LA, geography won't be an issue but until then?
So here are my questions:
- who are your child(ren) godparents?
- how did you choose them?
- what purpose do godparents serve in your mind?
- have they lived up to that role so far?
- when did you appoint them that role? (christening/baptism/dedication, etc)
7 comments:
We're not religious at this point so our son doesn't have godparents.
We'll choose people to take him if something happens to us and we'll put it in our will but we're not telling anyone who it is so no one feels hurt
Justine and I chose two of our best friends, a hetero couple, to be our first child's godparents. We too felt that we wanted someone outside the family, for the same reasons you did.
We chose to have godparents for our child (and future children) because we think it's important to have lots of people involved in raising a child- especially people who are outside of your family. We wanted someone who would always make our child feel special and someone who our child could always turn to.
We will have a blessing ceremony when the baby is several months old. It will be a non-religious, but we look on it as a way for important people in our life to offer blessings to our baby. The godparents will have a special role in it.
I'm having a real hard time finding godparents for my child.
I was just thinking about this the other day. I am all out of people to ask! My brother and sister are Ceara's godparents, my best friend and one of my cousins are Farty's, but I have no clue to ask for this little one. My brother is such a drunken ass that I regret even asking him to be Ceara's, and we have seen my sister twice in 10 years. My best friend and cousin were great choices, and spoil Farty rotten on Christmas and birthdays. Is it weird to ask them to be godparents to another one of my kids?
Ceara was baptized in church, but Farty was baptized on an 'emergency basis' in the NICU. We did an affirmation of baptism at church when he got out of the hospital. But so many people were dispproving because of how he was conceived. Really? At church you're going to be that way? What's the point of going if you don't plan to change your bigotous ways?
It seems like the godparent thing is just one more potential resentment builder. I wish it could be skipped, but I can't really justify that at this point...the precedent has already been set.
Best of luck in navigating this minefield, I have no advice!
- who are your child(ren) godparents?
a host of my college friends and TLs college friends
- how did you choose them?
they are sane people. our families are not typically sane.
- what purpose do godparents serve in your mind?
to take care of said kid if you kick the bucket before your time and to be around in your kid's life, even if it is distanced sometimes
- have they lived up to that role so far?
yep. they have came to visit GP twice - which is fantastic considering we live on different coasts
- when did you appoint them that role?(christening/baptism/dedication, etc)
called them up for their socials when we were filling out the legal paperwork and said something about putting them down for GP. case closed. not so romantic, but we aren't sappy like that.
We don't have godparents so I can't really help you out. Just wanted to say how excited I am for you. It's getting so close!!!
We do not have god parents for our children, but we do have a god daughter. We were asked after she was born, then appointed at the baptismal. I view myself as the "Auntie", etc. I send cards for holidays, Christmas and Birthday gifts. They however live across the county (I'm in Iowa they are in Hawaii) so we don't see her. I love being a god parent and am honored they chose us. I think whomever you two decide will feel the same way.
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