99 Days

I just looked over at my ticker and noticed I have 99 days left. Time is flying by so quickly.

While I'm off for the next few days here are my goals:
- Take down the christmas tree
- Clear out and set up new guest room
- Clear out baby's room and tape areas to be painted
- Test out paint colors. Can't wait to buy some of those little jars of paint
- Take several naps in awesome wearable blanket (even better than a snuggi)
- Play the new Mario Game on Wii and hopefully not get yelled at by Danielle for accidentally killing her.

My Year In Review- 2009

I love looking back over the year to see what happened:

January: I turned 30 and survived. Danielle and I went on a cruise to commemorate this and it was great. However, we came home from vacation to a nasty flood in our kitchen which turned out to be a blessing because we got a new kitchen, bathroom and few other items. On January 25th my niece was born.

February: I started ttc again after yet another break. I start to address my back issues due to severe pain. We start to window shop for appliances, bed, etc.

March: I have back surgery after much debate. I feel much better. After two months of hammers and people in an out of our home, the house is finished in mid March. The first ttc session of the new year results in a bfn.

April: This was an emotionally tough month in the ttc world. I was invited to 2 baby showers for two good friends and had a tough time dealing with it. However, I survived and had a great time. I went to visit my parents in Florida before going back to work after 8 weeks of recuperating from my surgery. I had a great time visiting with them. My mom sets up her Etsy store. Try #15 was put on hold because of a cyst. The desire to move out of Pittsburgh becomes really strong. It becomes a big issue in our relationship because Danielle doesn't want to move away from her family and I feel as though I cannot stay in Pittsburgh for the rest of my life.

May: I ttc for the 15th time. I think its my 3rd round of gonal F and I add acupuncture to this round. We consider getting a puppy and later in the month make a definitive decision to get the female dog. I have a feeling later in my cycle that it was a bust and Danielle takes over and tries ttc for the first time.

June: Danielle has her first insem this month. I get confirmation that try #15 was a bust. My RE gives me three options: increase gonal f, ivf, or have Danielle take over. When I asked, she stresses that there is nothing physically preventing me from getting pregnant. This really sticks in my mind. Danielle and I start to identify our summer projects and finally get our backyard landscaped. It looks awesome and we are really pleased with how good it looks. It only took us a weekend and a million trips to Home Depot. We also decide that we want to go to LA to visit our friend Erica this summer and to see if it is somewhere she would consider living. Moving is still a big issue for us. I worry that we may not be able to resolve this and how it will affect us. Gracie comes home in the middle of this month. I quickly learn how difficult it is to take care of puppy and we sign her up for puppy classes through a local community college.

July: We learn that Danielle's cycle was a bust. Gracie gets her second round of shots and has a horrible reaction. I quietly ttc this month with the last bit of money on my FSA card. We ttc at home without any meds, IUI, etc. It's at home with Danielle, very smiliar to how we started our journey. Danielle has doubt about this cycle. She took the cycle off. My niece's christening was this month and I remember enjoying two mimosas at brunch following the service. I buy myself a much wanted Iphone and love it.

August: We look for doggy daycare but don't have any luck. August 5th, I get the best gift ever... a long awaited bfp on try #16. My betas are 333 and 1008 (16 and 18 dpo). I have my first u/s. I remain in shock for pretty much the rest of this month. It was so hard to believe that this pregnancy was truly happening to me after 2 years off trying. We meet with my OB and a Midwife. We decide hands down to go with the Mr. Midwife. August 26th we fly to LA and love it. Danielle fell in love after about an hour of being there and we decide it's somewhere we'd like to live.

September: We hear SugarPlum's heartbeat for the first time (Sep 8th). The G-20 comes to Pittsburgh and I'm sent to work 3 hours away in Harrisburg. Morning sickness is kicking my ass. We have our first tri screening. SP doesn't cooperate so we go back the following week.

October: We go in for our second first tri screening. Everything looks great with the baby. My morning sickness is going away. I buy my first Coach Purse. Actually I bought two. Danielle turns 26 years old. I start to feeling the baby move slightly.

November: I start to sew items for the baby and buy a crib. We learn that the baby is a BOY. We decide we are going to give cloth diapering a go. We interview two daycare centers. We narrow down names to Preston, Nicholas, Jayden, and Tyler.

December: We do some repairs/improvements in what will be the baby's room and identify colors. The baby moves around a lot and Danielle can feel from the outside. I enjoy the Christmas season a million times more than I have in the past few years. I end up at the hospital twice for stomach flu and bleeding. I recover from both within a short amount of time. We plan to start the baby's room within the next week.





My 2009 goals:
Build up my practice- I was able to keep a number that I was comfortable with.
Get certified as a MFT- Pitt no longer offers this program so I put it on hold.
Getting back to my pre-ttc weight- Didn't do this although I lost about 12 pounds in my first tri.
Strengthen core muscles- Worked on it but still have work to do.
Saving more money- I was able to do this and was more financially stable than previous years.
Take Danielle to Europe- We went to LA instead and on a Caribbean Cruise. Maybe next year
Get pregnant/start a family- Accomplished!!!!

Once upon a Christmas

As I sit at my desk waiting for the next 38 minutes to pass so I can go home and start my Christmas vacation (read: Christmas cleaning, packing, etc), I started to think about some of my favorite gifts from Christmases past. So far Ive come up with Speak and Spell, Cricket Doll, a car, the watch I wear every day, and a cruise which for the past two years has been our gift to each other.

No More McDonalds

This post is kinda boring (so feel free to skip) but I just wanted to document my thoughts about my illness and to vow never to eat McDonalds again. Which I should point out that I rarely ever eat to begin with but being hungry late at night drove me to eat a burger and fries for the sake of something quick and accessible.

I ended up in the ER again for the second time in a row Friday into Saturday night. My fever continued to escalate that night and if it weren't for the fact that I'm pregnant, I would have stayed at home to ride it out. They hooked me up to an IV and hydrated me which caused my fever to go down and I was released to go home.

H1N1 Kickback or a doctor who just doesn't listen? Let me first say that I was vaccinated for BOTH the flu and H1N1. But while I was at the hospital, they tested me for H1N1 and "because H1N1 is the worst thing you could have" they gave me a prescription for Tamiflu which has a hefty $70 copay. I opted not to fill the prescription because I didn't have confirmation (and we still haven't heard from the lab) as to whether or not I truly have it. We got home at 4am at which time I took Tylenol and woke up at 9am feeling tons better.

So why the skepticism? Well for one, I told the nurse and doctor about eating the McDonald's hamburger at 10pm and getting sick at 2am. I brought it up repeatedly because I thought there was a definite correlation. I also pointed out several times that I had been vaccinated for both. However, the doctor said "well you have a nausea, GI upset, fever and bodyache which are the same signs of H1N1." I wanted to point out that they are also the same symptoms of the flu and now that I did some googling, found out that they are the same symptoms as the stomach flu (gastroenteritis). So although I can appreciate their thoroughness, I found the nose swab (a swab that they push down the back of your nose down your throat) very invasive as well as an unnecessary $70 medication.

I just wish I had googled prior to going to the ER but I was so sick I didn't have the energy. Mr. Midwife was on the right path all along. He agreed from the start that it probably had something to do with the burger and it would probably pass within 24-48 hours. But he told me to call him if my temp went over 101 and when it did, he told me to go to the ER. So I'm sure I'll start the new year out with two nice medical bills (thank god for insurance).

By the way reading what causes gastroenteritis is really gross. Pretty much, it's caused by spoiled food or someone not washing their hands after using the bathroom. Somehow the latter, grosses me out way more.

Snatchysnoo

Thursday: Yep, that's what the ER doctor called my vagina when giving me my discharge orders... A snatchysnoo. I know he was just being funny and it did make me laugh (he called it a vagina the rest of the time). So the ER.... I had some unexplained bleeding yesterday. Although the rational side of me knew things had to be okay because I wasn't in pain, have any cramping and I could feel SugarPlum move around like he usually does, I had no explanation for the amount of blood I was seeing. So I did the only sensible thing.... I cried. I'm usually pretty good in a crisis but everything just swirled around in my head and in the midst I was crying and couldn't stop crying. I couldn't find Danielle, who works in my building, and this made me cry some more. Anyway, the doctor, Dr. Snatchysnoo checked me out and it seems that it may have been a fibroid that ruptured or my placenta coming slightly loose. He said it will reattach itself if that is the case. Just to keep an eye on it, I'll be scheduled to have an u/s at 28 weeks.

Friday: Around 2am I started to feel sick. I had terrible nausea, upset stomach, and my skin started to hurt. I hate when that happens. By this morning, I had a low grade fever which throughout the day increased to 100.7. It's finally starting to break (100.2) and I've been able to stay awake long enough to jump online. My midwife seems to think that I have a stomach bug vs the flu and said it should pass within 24-48 hours. I sure hope so. I hated taking time off from work today (ironically 5 other people from my team called off too so maybe something is going around). Being sick just sucks. However, Danielle is a gem as always and did whatever she could to make me feel better. Hopefully, I'll feel better by the morning.

Pet pics Christmas 2009

This is Gracie's first Christmas.

SugarPlum's Nursery Color Inspiration

I want something that's not too dark, not too girly, fun, and bright. The color inspiration came from one of my stocking stuffers. So the room will be blue, white, orange and a splash of brown. I'm off to buy a pack of coloring pencils today so I can play around with colors and designs.

Christmas Ornaments

Here are some of my favorite Christmas Ornaments:

• Pregnant lady- Danielle bought it for me this year
• Tower of cards- for Danielle who loves to play poker
• Rainbow- our dedicated glbt ornament. It looks cool when the light shines on it
• Princess Barbie- I absolutely love that she's black. She's so beautiful.
• Lady in kimono- my friend brought it back from Japan one year
• Grinch- my brother bought this for me. He absolutely loves the Grinch

First Quilt

Here's a pic of SugarPlum's first quilt made by my mother.

The Name Game

Danielle and I cannot seem to agree on a first name for Sugarplum and we may be one of "those" parents who just waits to see what the baby looks like before naming. This gives me both a sense of a relief about not being locked into a name and maybe wanting to add something to the short list later but then I also feel a little flaky about not being able to decide on a name. At any rate, I thought I'd share them with you. Please note that the name with the most votes does not necessarily mean we'll use that name. It's just for fun.

Please cast you votes to the right.

***BTW- thanks for those who provided feedback on Gracie and the poop situation. I think we are going to reevaluate the food she eats. I was making homemade food for her in the past (rice, ground chicken, carrots, celery and parsley) but stopped about a month ago (laziness) and switched to Pedigree dog food (total random choice). I may have to go back to the homemade or find a good canned choice for her. We mix it with her kibble.

Daycare #2- Child Development Center

I toured another daycare center which has "Child Development Center" in it's title and is owned by a very large teaching/medical facility so I had high hopes for this center thinking that it would be at the top of it's game being developmentally stimulating for little SugarPlum. They have a waiting list with the first opening in July 2010 so I thought it would be the stuff. However, I wasn't all that impressed.

Hilltop (daycare #1) offers formula and solids in their tuition, is $50 less, has better pick up and drop off parking, has staff who have been there for over 14 years in the infant room, changes their schedule every 30 minutes, starts the day off with "lots of hugs, smiles and holding", has accommodated same sex families, close to home, offers groups for parents, uses stimulating activities such as reading, puppets, music, songs, art, and toys. Their ratio is 1:3. The only drawback: don't love the neighborhood, and they follow Pittsburgh Public School snow days (could pose a problem).

CDC (daycare #2) does not offer any extras in their tuition. Hot meals only start when the child is 1 and is in the 1 year old room. They have a teacher with a BA in child ed in each room. Their ratio is 1:4, it's close to work, the children are held in a room with other children up to the age of 2 until all the staff and children arrive for the day, their schedule changes every 60-90 minutes. I didn't see anything about the use of music, puppets and art. I did notice a lot of use of toys.

Both allow me to drop in any time to feed, have lunch or say hi to our child. Both will accommodate same sex families, although CDC said in the 5+ years she's been there, she's never had a same sex family in their infant room. Both offer codes to get into the facility. However, CDC said the code can be given by the family to extended family. I'm concerned about this because it seems like really easy access for loony family members.

So while there are other pros and cons for each, daycare #1 is the top contender at this time.

Gracie Strikes Again

Gracie ate Slice's poop this afternoon. I'm so deeply disturbed by this. Why must she be so gross?

19w6d Photo Shot

I'm not brave enough to do a side shot but you get the gist.

Crib Bedding???

This week we are in the planning phase for the nursery. Ironically (?), I had a girl's nursery planned right down to the accessories but I had nothing planned for a boy. It feels like boys room are more themed orientated than just decorated. So the challenge is deciding on colors, layout, bedding, etc. Danielle and I are trying compromise on color. We don't exactly want a typical blue nursery but we're not against it. We've tossed around a few colors but we're not sure. However, my purchase today may help move the decision along. While at BRU I scored an Amy Coe 4 piece crib set and mobile. The bedding alone generally goes for $169 and I got the bedding and mobile for..............$16.00. No that's not a typo $16.00. Even the sales associate was surprised. I don't know if it was mismarked or what because bedding NEVER goes that cheap. Even the ones around it were $70 on clearance. So I figured even if Danielle doesn't care for the bedding for the nursery we can send parts of it to daycare or use it as a back up. Either way, I'm super excited about this purchase.

Game On....

Now that we know what we're having, GAME ON!!!! I hit up Carters and bought our SugarPlum a few (okay slightly more than a few) items. Baby clothes are so cute.

SugarPlum is a...................

Press play to find out if SugarPlum is a boy or a girl:

Daycare Questions: Input needed

We have a busy week planned:
Tuesday- tour a highly recommended daycare center located less than a mile from us.
Thursday- the big u/s followed by lunch with Danielle's mother and sister to celebrate the gender.
Friday- prenatal appt with Mr. Midwife
Saturday- lunch again with the in-laws and some baby shopping/registry updating at BRU.

Here are some questions I've come up with so far to ask the daycare center. If anyone has any suggestions please add them. In my search for what to look for in a daycare, most of the info was geared towards toddlers and not so much on newborns. If there's anything you like about your infant room/daycare provider can you share?

• Daycare Questions:
• What are your hours? Drop off and pick up?
• Do you care for babies in cloth diapers? If so what would I need to do to make it easier for you?
• What is the schedule for newborns like?
• How do you handle holidays like father’s day for children who come from single parent homes or two mother homes? (i.e make a card for uncles/grandfathers)
• What is your policy for sick children?
• Do you still charge if we go on vacation for a few days to a week?
• Which holidays are you closed? Are we charged for that day?
• Do you accept FSA?
• What is the staff to child ratio?
• What kind of training does your staff have (i.e. CPR, Child Development)?
• Is there a nurse on staff?
• What is included in your fee? Diapers, formula, meals, etc? Is there a discount if your child breastfeeds, is on a special formula that you don’t provide or is cloth diapered?
• As our child gets older, will you respect our wishes for no candy?
• What kind of snacks do you serve older children?
• Do you offer an educational program or curriculum? At what age do you start?
• What kind of stimulation or child development skills do you offer infants?
• What is your policy on discipline?
• Do you send home a daily report on how my child’s day went?
• Do you allow parents to visit during the day?
• Can parents join their child during lunch time every once in a while?
• How do you reduce the spread of germs and infections (i.e. washing hands after diaper changes, children not coming if they are sick/sick room, washing hands before lunch)?
• Are babies taken outside for fresh air/walks?
• Do you allow children to watch tv or play video games? Is there another alternative to this activity?

BTW, I called my insurance company today and an electric breast pump can be coverd if my doc/midwife gets an auth and documents that I'll be separated from my child for either work or school. That'll be a huge saving on my part.

UPDATE: The tour went well. I got all of my questions answered and then some. Their daily schedule made me choke up because it's so cute. SugarPlum is officially on the list.

Cloth Diaper Consultation

Itwas never out intention to cloth diaper. However, as many of you know, my mother makes cloth diapers for her Etsy site and offered to supply us with all the cloth diapers we needed so I'd be a fool to turn it down. The only dilemma was that Danielle and I knew nothing about cloth diapering. So we were referred to Pittsburgh Cloth Diaper, which is run by a SAHM who runs this business out of her home in a very cute workshop. She offers free consultations and sells just about every kind of cloth diaper and accessory out there on the market. She was very thorough and after being there for an hour we were completely sold. Now, that's not to say our child's hiney won't ever see a disposable but we plan to primarily cloth diaper. I think learning about it really decreased the overwhelming feeling of it all. The nice thing was that we brought two of my mom's diapers so that she could offer some feedback and she absolutely loved them. She also suggested that instead of having my mom make 24 newborns, to have her just make about 10 and supplement with prefolds and covers while I'm at home on maternity leave as the baby will grow out of them fast. That way my mother can spend a lot more time making larger ones.

The icing was that she offers a gift registry on her site so I can't wait to register for some accessories.

Ive learned a very important lesson during this pregnancy which is as you are going through pregnancy and I'm sure this extends itself to when the baby comes and you are parenting, keep your decisions to yourself because everyone always has an opinion and wants to tell you what you should/shouldn't do or enforce their parenting styles on you. Note, this is done primarily when their opinion was NEVER asked in the first place. The cloth diapering lady made a good point today when I told her about some people's reactions to cloth diapering and she said that as a new parent you are seen as lacking credibility. I've found this to be quite true and as a result I tend to preface my answers by saying "I'm going to try to ...." instead of being more assertive because it seems like people are always telling me the negative or their failed attempts at something or try to discourage me in some way or either by their tone or their words. For example:

Midwife: people were really taken aback when I told them about this and felt I should use an OB because it was "safer." Meanwhile I love my midwife and have had nothing but a great experience so far. While I'm not knocking OB's, this was a great fit for us and I have no regrets.

Medication: I'd like to try it med free. Not because I think meds are bad but because I'm deathly afraid of it putting me on the train track to a c-section. And while I know c-sections are medically necessary for some, I'd really like to avoid it.

Cloth diapering: The response has been, why would you want to do that? It's so time consuming. Disposables are so much easier, etc. I just want to respond with "what the hell do you care? you'll never be responsible for changing my child's diaper whether cloth or disposable."

Breastfeeding: It's so hard. You are naive. Everybody thinks it's so easy but you'll see. Not all babies take to it. A bottle is easier. And once again I just want to say "what the hell do you care? I'm not asking you to take your breast out to feed my child."

Baby names: My friend Deanna told me early on not to disclose the names we were considering because at the end of the day, it's your child and your decision and people will always tell you if they don't like it. This my friends, is very true. So I agree with Deanna, don't do it.

Finding out the gender: It amazes me how many people try to talk us out of finding out the baby's sex. What difference does it make to you? I'll just be as suprised when the tech tells us if it's a boy or girl as I would be if the midwife told us at birth.

I just find people in real life to be utterly rude sometimes. I love when I come across women who share positive stories of breastfeeding or cloth diapering or natural child birth. It's just so inspiring and I try to focus on their stories more so than the people who try to discourage me or want me to parent like them.

Anyway, sorry about my rant. I'll leave you with some pics of our cloth diapering Elmo who is our temporary baby model. Danielle is WAYYYY better at doing the prefolds than I am. Danielle, who loves poker, also bought a onesie that says "you stack blocks, I stack chips."

Crib update

Holy cow! I got a call today from JCP telling me that the crib arrived. I only ordered it two days ago. I can't wait to pick it up (not that we are assembling it until after the holidays).

Maternity Leave Sucks

I found out today that maternity leave is not what I expected at all and it left me slightly (okay a little more than slightly) heartbroken. Maternity Leave: 1 week of vacation time before you can take the 5 weeks of leave at 60% of your pay. You can take an additional 12 weeks under FMLA but it's unpaid. Maybe I'm naive but I truly thought maternity leave meant 6 weeks of full pay and the 12 weeks was at a reduced rate. So now our goal is to make 2 extra student loan and mortgage payments before SugarPlum is born so that I can spend time with him/her without worrying so much.

Crib

I know it's early but we ordered our crib this morning from JC Penny. We were going to wait but got some great deals that made it all worth it:

• Free shipping= a savings of $150
• Comes with the safety rail (aka toddler rail) for free= a savings of $90
• On sale= a savings of $150
• Great reviews on JCP's website= peace of mind

Sewing Day

I decided to start on some projects for SugarPlum. Working as the sun was beaming through the window and listening to soft music made for the perfect Sunday afternoon (a glass of wine would have made it better but you know how all that goes).

Shown: Bib (will have to pass it along if I have a boy) and some burp cloths (heard the cloth diapers make great burb cloths).

Baby Bump Moments from Week 16

• Sorry, no I don't have a baby bump pic to post. Maybe later on in the pregnancy (with clothing).
• Someone (other than Danielle) noticed or at least verbalized my baby bump today. How cute (and a little embarrassing).
• I felt my SIL eyeing my baby bump today and I felt a little self-conscious. Although she's not actively ttc, she wants a baby and recently verbalized that she's jealous of my pregnancy.
• SugarPlum is moving around like a little Mexican jumping bean today. Maybe he/she knows something I don't.
• I've been really good about laying off the potato chips for the past 5 days. It was getting a little out of control. Should I be concerned that I bought Lays potato chips to hand out to the kids trick or treating tomorrow?
• I had a really good conversation with my older brother last night. We were on the phone for 2 1/2 hours and just chatted about everything any anything. He's such a good brother. Part of our conversation was about seeking the approval of my parents. I admitted that sadly at the age of 30 I still do this and I'm not sure why. I'm realizing that it takes a lot of effort on my part and with a baby coming I need to stop. My brother has a really laid back philosophy that whoever wants to be involved in my life will be and those who can't move past their own opinions, etc will just miss out and that's on them. I wish I could adopt that attitude. I'm sure this will take up my entire therapy session on Tuesday.
• I left work early yesterday because I didn't feel all that great. I was exhausted and worried I was coming down with the flu or cold. Today, I came to work even though I'm still exhausted. I went to take a quick nap in my car but forgot which floor I parked on, found the car and realized I forgot the car keys. Mission aborted!
• I need a good book to read. Any suggestions? Nothing too heavy or pregnancy related.
• We have 12 days until we find out the sex. Danielle's mom wanted to come to the gender appt with us but I really wanted it to be just Danielle and myself (if we decide to do a 3D/4D u/s later on in the pregnancy then she and Danielle's sister are more than welcome to attend) but for this appt, I felt like I just wanted to share the moment with Danielle. Is that selfish? Anyway, rather than just telling her the news over the phone, I came up with the idea of us meeting her mom for lunch that afternoon and giving her a gift bag with a onesie that says "what happens at mema's stays at mema's," flowers for her desk and a scratch off that announces if it is a girl or boy. I think the scratch offs are kinda cool bc Danielle's family loves them (real ones) around Christmas, birthdays, etc.

Movement

A few days ago I started to feel SugarPlum move. It happens mostly when laying down. Talk about such a cool feeling. I can't wait until Danielle can feel it as well.

Week 16: Prenatal Appt

We met with Mr. Midwife this morning for yet another great prenatal appointment. We got a prescription for b/w to test for spina bifida and drum roll..... a prescription for the big u/s. We've been waiting to get this "golden ticket." I can't believe 3 weeks, we'll find out what we're having (granted the baby cooperates). For the record, I suspect that it's a boy.

I'm down 2 more pounds (11 total). Our teachable moment in this appointment included Mr. Midwife giving me a mirror and bringing Danielle down to his level to look at my cervix. He explained the process of the cervix thinning out and becoming effaced prior to childbirth. I haven't checked out my cervix since ttc so it was pretty cool. We were able to listen to SugarPlum's heartbeat. Earlier in the week I started to have some anxiety about how SP was doing in there. I had to reassure myself that the likelihood of m/c at this point is low, that we had a healthy u/s 3 weeks ago, etc but sometimes the anxiety just kind of creeps up out of no where. I wonder if it ever goes away.

Thanks for the feedback on Gracie's bum issue. We are in the process of identifying a Vet for her. She has an appt at a clinic next week for other issues so hopefully they can address this as well.

Scratching Items off the List

Tonight my friend and I attended the Baby and Maternity Consignment Sale. Tiffany was a great help with carrying items, helping me weed through stuff, and helping me stay on task. She was the perfect person for the job. We ran into Pleasantly Furious and her partner while we were there. Although we didn't get to sit and chat, it was nice to meet in person and put a face to a name.

I'm pretty pleased with my purchases:

• Fisher Price Little Lamb Swing: $65 (retails for $160)


• Bouncer: $9


• Hands Free Breastfeeding Pump support: $10 (retails for $40)


• Child sized rocker: $3 (plan to buy or make a cover)


• Sealed High School Musical Board Game for Tiffany's daughter: $5

Gracie Question: She keeps scooching her ass along the carpet, like in that carpet commerical. Why?

Random Moments from Week 14

• I went to the bathroom at work in dire need to pee and completely forgot the code to get in. I had to run down three flights to use one that didn't require a pass code. I always had a slight disbelief about "pregnancy brain" and knew I would never be a victim of it.
• Danielle and I are attending a "Plan and Scan Workshop" tomorrow at BRU. Afterwards we plan to start our registry. Virtual shopping is always fun.
• It was Danielle's birthday yesterday.
• A conversation between Danielle and myself. Me: OMG, you have to come to this huge consignment sale with me next week. It's suppose to be huge. Danielle: what's a consignment sale. Me: (I explained). Danielle: So what you're saying is that you want me to attend a huge baby garage sale? Me: Thanks. Thanks Danielle for cheapening the whole experience. I took back the invitation and our friend Tiffany is coming with me instead.
• Last night I wasted 30 minutes of my life watching "Mall Cops" on TLC and laughed so hard. Good times!!!
• I lost another pound. I'm now down 9 pounds compared to my first prenatal visit. I'm eating though. Weird!!!
• I interviewed for a position with better hours than what I'm working now. I doubt I'll get it bc they inadvertently told me that a lot of supervisors were applying. That intimidates me but keep your fingers crossed for SugarPlum's sake.
• I confess that sometimes feel guilty about blogging about my pregnancy. I know that when I was struggling with ttc there were times I had a hard time reading pregnancy blogs and just skipped over them on my blog roll. I will understand if anyone has to do that with me.
• I find that I'm losing a connection with one of my friends. When I'm asked what's going on with my life, I talk about my pregnancy. I hate that I may be turning into one of those people. However, right now, there isn't much else going on in my life. God, that's sad.
• Slice and Gracie are GROSS!!!! Our cat, Slice, throws up about once a week. Mostly bc he ate too much or ate too fast. Well last night he threw up a large amount. I was looking through the mail at the time and figured I'd clean it up after I was done. I went to go clean it and Gracie had eaten 3/4 of it!!!! Ew!!!! I mean who the hell eats someone else's vomit? Talk about dry heaving. I thought I was going to puke just at the thought of her eating it. Well on the bright side, it was less for me to clean.

Who are you?

I've turned into this hormonal woman who chokes up, tears up and cries over the silliest things which range from overdone french fries, tv shows, and the pet parade. I sometimes feel like I'm having this out of body experience where I'm like "who are you?" It's very weird and quite honestly, a little scary.

I never thought I'd be one to have cravings but sure enough Sunday night started the desire for Fish Tacos. Of all things, Fish Tacos! I'd never had one in my entire life. It didn't help that Throw Down with Bobby Flay featured the most awesome looking fish tacos that night. I live in Pittsburgh though. The Mexican population is about 100. There's no way in hell I'm going to get an authentic fish taco to save my life. However, my friend and her 4 month old baby stepped in this afternoon and met me at Mad Mex for their version of the taco. Although it was tasty, it ranked a 2 on the authenticity scale. But at least it soothed me for a while.

There's nothing much going on in the land of baby right now. We are just anxiously awaiting the time when we can find out the gender. In the meantime, I've researched car seats, strollers, and carriers. There are so many to choose from and it's very easy to get overwhelmed. This week's research will be focused on baby monitors. I've read that if you buy a certain kind on a certain frequency you can hear or see other people (who do not live in your home but rather in your neighborhood). The idea of that truly freaks me out. Several years ago, someone tried to break into our home while we were home and so the idea of someone knowing I am home alone with the baby is very scary. Any baby monitor suggestions are more than welcome.

A Treat

Yesterday was a beautiful Fall day so we took a drive to the Outlet Mall which is in the next county. My goal at the mall was to buy a Fall coat which I found in GAP. It was not my goal to end up with two Coach purses, which I did. Spending that much on a purse is so out of character for me but they are so pretty and I consider them as investments of becoming a Yummy Mummy!

Today we took Gracie to her first Howl-O-Ween Parade at a local park. It was a fundraiser for a local animal shelter. Here are some Photos

Week 13

Week 13 has brought about my appetite. While I can only tolerate small meals, I enjoy them oh so much.

Week 13 has brought about an itch to shop. Okay, who am I kidding? That itch started weeks ago. I've been able to manage the itch simply because alot of items seem so gender based and because we don't know what we are having, it makes it hard. However, I did buy a four pack of baby legs from www.babysteals.com for $20 with free shipping. They usually run $12 for just one so I couldn't pass up this deal. I bought the blue set knowing that it would be easier for a girl to pass them off than a boy to pass off the pink. I can't wait to get them.

First Tri Screen Take II

It took a while but SugarPlum finally cooperated long enough for the doctor to take measurements. Without calculating the formal numbers, which we'll get on Monday, the doctor said that everything looks normal.


Gracie went to the groomers this morning and got a new haircut with cute Halloween bows. I swear that chicky gets treated to the salon more than I do. I bought her a matching orange sweater but she feels a little spastic in it and won't walk, no make that move. She just stood there frozen until I took it off her. BTW, she's doing much better staying off the couch. Thank for your suggestions.

Finding the Shelf

Mr. Midwife does it again...with each visit, he continues to affirm that my decision to use him was the right one. We met today for about 45 minutes answering my questions and then moving us to the exam room to weigh me, get my bp, and listen to the baby.

I've lost 8 pounds since learning of my pregnancy. The irony in all of this is that I couldn't lose 8 pounds to save my life when I wasn't pregnant. So now I'm around the same weight pre-cruise which was in January 2009. Danielle and I put just about the same things in our mouth and sorry Danielle, but she put more in her mouth than I did and she only gained 1 pound and I gained 9, WTF? Ha! So I'm down in weight but in the middle of the week my appetite returned and although I'm still cautious about my weight, I seem to be enjoying every thing I eat (maybe a little too much).

Today, we got an extra little treat after hearing the hb.... Mr. Midwife told us that by 13 weeks the uterus/baby should be in x position and he felt around for it. When he found it he had Danielle come to the table so he could teach her how to feel for it. He told her to feel for the "shelf" and she was able to find it (located on the lower right side above my pubic bone). It's small things like that, that make the appointments so special.

Gracie in her terrible 2's?

Fall is here. There are two perks to this time of the year: The fall line up on tv and extra snuggling.

This week Gracie has been driving me up the freaken wall. She learned to jump on the couch and she's up here all the freaken time, yapping in my ear, moving around, crawling all over me and yesterday just standing there barking incessantly only at me. My patience is really being tested. I never wanted her up on the couch in the first place and now we have to work really hard to help her unlearn this behavior. It's very frustrating.

First Tri Screen Take I

We had our first trimester screen. They did a general scan to see how SP was measuring up, heartbeat, etc. However, when it came time to measure for the NT scan, SP would not lay down. The tech tilted me backwards, made me cough, turned me from side to side but nothing. She even asked us to go have breakfast in the cafe and come back in hopes SP would lay down but when we returned still no dice. So we go back next Saturday to try again. I can't say that I'm all that disappointed because that's another peak at the baby. As parting gifts we got 4 pics and a 3minute DVD of the little one.

Thanks J&D for the directions. Here's SP giving a thumbs up to let us know that things are going okay in there. I think you'll have to double click on the pic to make it bigger.

Girl, did you hear?

I work with a bunch of fucken morons. Apparently I'm a part of the gossip mill. Am I surpised? Not so much. It's one of the major reasons I delayed announcing my pregnancy. I talk about Danielle a lot at work but no one seems to put two and two together and no one has asked so it is assumed I have a boyfriend on the "down low" as one woman put it and the other is that I got knocked up from a one night stand. Really? I'm freaken 30 years old. I haven't had a one night stand my entire life even when I dated guys. Part of me is annoyed but the other part just has to laugh.

One woman caught on last night that I have a dp. How did she find out? She grabbed my phone off my desk while it was ringing to look at the picture of Danielle and I on my screensaver. Then today, another girl came to my desk today and began tapping on the screen on my Iphone. When I asked her what she was doing she said she wanted to see what my phone was like. Knowing what she was up to, I opened up my phone to show the apps but she quickly lost interest. Why? because she really came over to look at the screensaver. People are so incredibly nosey that all I can do is laugh.

People, I'm a 30 year old pregnant woman in an interracial same sex relationship who used a donor to create a wonderful baby to be born in April 2010. Get over it. It's not that big of a deal.

Playing Dress Up

Danielle and I had a fun day out yesterday. It started off with lunch at Carinos and then some shopping. We stopped off at BRU to check out strollers. Danielle and I are both quite tall and we needed to make sure that we could find one that is the right height for us. We found two, very similar colors, $100 difference and different brands. I like the Chicco, she likes the Evenflo so we'll see. Anyway, I made her try on carriers being silly. Here's a pic:

11 weeks

*Next week I have to go to Harrisburg (about 3 hours away) to work part of the week due to the G-20 coming to Pittsburgh. Some of the world leaders are staying in the hotel that is attached to my office building so we got the boot due to high security. I'm looking forward to the end of the week when I can relax at home, start some sewing, enjoy time with Danielle and the furbabies and try out some new recipes.

*Next Saturday I go for our first trimester screening. It's an u/s so I'm assuming we'll get to see SugarPlum.

*I find the birth boards to be completely useless. Women ask stupid questions like will coughing hurt my baby. One lady said she was so concerned she would hold a pillow to her stomach when she coughed. Seriously???

*Please pray for this 19 year old girl that I know. I wrote about her a few months ago when her father committed suicide. Well she's pregnant, was hospitalized yesterday due to complications and they plan to do a c-section on her tomorrow at 24 weeks. The doctor is not giving her much hope that her baby will survive. She asked me to come see her tonight at the hospital. I just hope that the baby pulls through and that somehow the universe provides her with the things she needs to raise this child. She is in an apt with no long term heat or electricity. She doesn't have a thing, not even clothes or diapers for this child and really doesn't have $$$ to buy anything. If the baby does survive, I'm sure he will be in the NICU for a few weeks/months so it will buy her some time. She truly is not in the best position to raise this child physically, financially, or emotionally but she's going to try so I can only hope and try to help.
UPDATE: I spent about 2.5 hours with her. She has severe pre-eclampsia and even with meds her bp didn't come down. She has a high protein level so they told her that they were taking the baby in an hour. That was about an 1.5 hours ago. My heart is just breaking for her because she is so scared. She won't share it outright but you can tell. She said she doesn't even want to see the baby. She just wants him to go to the NICU. She's so afraid he'll have down's or die. So while I can understand being self protective, my heart just breaks for the both of them.
UPDATE #2: He weighs 1.5 pounds and is in the NICU. She did look at him and says he is adorable. I'll go to see her tomorrow or Sunday.

Horsie

I'm totally in love with this toy: (crazy because I'm aware it will get dirty in 60 seconds flat)

Sticker Shock

The other day during my lunch break I went on a walk to do a few errands (bank, post office, etc) and decided to stop in the USS Towers, which is a large office building about a block away from my office building. They have a Kindercare Daycare Center in there and geographically, it's the closest daycare center to my job. I had lovely visions of popping over on my lunch break to see/feed little SugarPlum as I'm sure I'm going to miss him/her during the day. However, all that came to a screeching halt (imagine the sound of 10 MAC trucks screeching to a halt) when I asked for the cost.
Drum roll....................$287 a week which adds up to be $1148 a month!!!!!!!

Do you hear the screeching too? Now I wonder will SugarPlum be disappointed to hear that he/she doesn't even live in a home where the mortgage is even $1148 a month? Will said little SugarPlum think he/she is a rock star for having the most expensive bill in the home? Can I use this as justification when said little SugarPlum wants a new fancy dress, karate lessons, or a shiny new bike? Will little SugarPlum want to hitchhike to Nana's when we are eating soup out of a can because of this monthly expense?

I only tease. While I'm currently in a position where I can afford this ghastly bill, it kills me to think that I will be paying this ridiculous amount for childcare. Of course, I'll shop around but if I want to take SugarPlum to a reputable daycare, I'll have to sucks it up and realize I'll be paying close to this amount. We will consider adjusting our schedules if our employers allow it or consider a nanny but who do you trust these days? Maybe we'll even look into Danielle becoming a SAHM or working part time.

Maybe I need to write a letter to the President and see if he can speed up whatever actions he has in place to cut down on the cost of childcare for the working family. You know, just as a rant, childcare and the system really isn't set up for working people. I mean, here I am, working full time, earning a living, waiting until I'm at an age where I can responsibly and financially care for a child and yet I'll spend $1150 a month in childcare. Whereas some people who are capable of working yet don't, are able to earn free childcare or childcare partnership funds to put their kid in daycare for pennies. It just doesn't make sense.

If some of the mommies out don't mind sharing, what are you paying in childcare? Are you in a facility, in someone's home, a SAHM, etc? I'm interested in learning what childcare decision people made for their family.

Heartbeat

Mr. Midwife is so nice. I called him last week to see when we would get to see SugarPlum again. The last time was at 6w3d for the u/s at the RE's office. His response was typically at 18 weeks we'd see him/her again. Even though I have morning sickness, I still felt the need to know what was going on in there just to make sure. So he told me to come in this morning so we could try to listen for the heartbeat via doppler. He took me right back and within 5 minutes, we were listening to SugarPlum's strong heartbeat. It was so awesome to hear. I have Rx to get b/w and some prenatal testing and I go back on October 2nd. He said if I need to come back in beforehand to listen again I could call him. Although I won't, it's so nice that he offered.

Baby Sites

What are some of your favorite baby websites?
ETA: to buy baby items.

Ooppsss!

I've been really sick this week and finally broke down and told my boss earlier this week and my two supervisors today just in case I had to leave work early. I don't want to be viewed as a slacker especially after coming back from vacation.

• Response from boss: thrilled, happy, gave me a hug, talked about the experience so far.
• Response from supervisor #1: happy, concerned about my sickness, gave me the most awesome ginger/peppermint teabag and honey in my teacup.
• Response from supervisor #2: happy, confused and asked the best question of all time:

"was it planned?"

Now ladies and gents, all three of these people know I'm in a lesbian relationship so I couldn't help but laugh hysterically (inside of course because outside would have just been rude) at this question. Because seriously, how do two women in a lesbian relationship have an "ooppss baby?" Ahhh, good times I tell ya.

Thinking out loud about L.A.

I moved to Pittsburgh for grad school and I've always felt that I stayed several years too long. After I got out of grad school I got my first job and then met Danielle and so I stayed here but always longed to move. Danielle and I discussed moving for a long time. Initially it was to a bigger city but then I decided that I wanted to move somewhere warm and sunny. I'm aware that my mood is greatly affected by the weather. And while I love skiing, I have no qualms about taking a special ski trip rather than living in a state where I can drive to ski. I love the idea of Christmas with snow but we can always fly to my brother Jason's home in Ohio to get that experience. So we kind of narrowed it down to Florida or Los Angeles. After our recent trip, Danielle fell in love and is ready for a change. I found LA to be more fast paced than Pittsburgh but not as fast paced as NYC. We love the idea of being close to the beach and being surrounded by the sun. With that said we still need to sit down and iron out some things but it sounds like we've made the decision to move. Sometimes thinking about moving makes me incredibly overwhelmed. It was one thing when it was just Danielle and I moving, but now we have a little baby to think about as well. So here are some questions and things we need to do/consider:

• Does it make more sense to move before or after I give birth? (I'm thinking during my maternity leave may be better).
• When should we put our house on the market?
• I have to sit for my license exam in California. They make you take two. Yikes!
• We both need to find a job
• We need to find somewhere to live. It's going to be a huge adjustment going from our 4 level spacious home to a townhouse or apt.
• Getting our cars there
• Deciding what to keep and what to sell
• Dealing with the guilt being dished to us about leaving.
• Terminating with my clients in private practice and handling their reactions.

Ahhhh, there's so much to think about.

L.A.

My trip to LA was A.W.E.S.O.M.E. We had so much fun that we are considering moving out there (a separate post to follow on that topic). My BFF was the best host ever and it's always fun being around friends. Her dog Cooper, who despite his size, is the biggest loveable baby ever. We just fell in love with him and want him to be Gracie's boyfriend. He has the longest tounge and loves to lick you and cuddle. On my long list of must sees and we got to everything. Some highlights included the beach, driving around different neighborhoods, the hike at Ruyon although it kicked my ass, and riding bikes along the beach. We went to Malibu, Beverly Hills, West Hollywood, Hollywood, Bel Air, on UCLA's campus, Santa Monica (my favorite) and Pasadena. I'm sure I'm missing some places. Our celebrity sighting was the guy from Curb Your Enthusiasm on our drive back from Malibu.

Los Angeles- day 1

I'm loving LA. Today we went to Pinks Hotdogs and afterwards we went to The Grove (a shopping area) and The Farmers Market. It was difficult adjusting to the time change and the 92 degree weather but a nice nap helped out.

Pics to come.

Mr. Midwife

That's what our new midwife calls himself, well at least his website. His real name is Patrick. We met with him this morning for an hour and we've decided he's the one. He's going to be our prenatal provider. He really took his time and answered all of my questions and I had quite a list!!! Here were some of my questions (for those who may consider a midwife at some point):

1. Can I have meds if needed? Yes, he is able to order them if I desire.
2. Do you have a back up doctor? Yes, he works with a small OB practice who will step in should I need more intensive intervention (lets hope not).
3. Hospital Privileges? At the one I really like
4. Who performs prenatal testing and ultrasounds? He orders them and we go to Magee to get them done.
5. Are you available in April? Yes
6. How do we contact you if needed? He gave us his cell phone number and said we can call him. We can also shoot him an email if needed. He doesn't use an answering service.
7. What do you do post birth? He stays 1 hour post birth to help with anything we need at the hospital and then leaves us to bond with the baby. If possible he will do one home visit but it's not a promise.
8. Will you help with breastfeeding after delivery? Yes and No. He said he knows the basics but a lactation consultant will help us in that area (or better yet, my mom will help me seen as she did it with three of us). He even gave us a place to attend a free breastfeeding class prior to birth. Most of the ones offered by the hospital are not free.
9. Where are you while I'm in labor? He said we stay in contact by phone until labor intensifies and then he'll meet us at the hospital. He said it's best not to go to the hospital without him because the hospital is very methodical in their process of birthing and will try to start us on pitocin or other meds even if it's not in our birth plan. He said he acts as a buffer and advocate for us at the hospital. We can use a jacuzzi prior to birth to ease the labor pain if we would like.
10. Do I have to birth laying down? No, the beds can break down into birthing chairs, you can get on your hands and knees, squat or stand. I asked this because over the weekend we watched "The Business of being Born" and they said that laying down actually makes your pelvis smaller and isn't the most efficient way of birthing. I was also inspired by the women on this movie who birthed standing or squatting.
11. How often will you see me during my pregnancy? Monthly until my 7th month at which time we'll meet every two weeks. During my last month I go weekly.
12. What's a typical visit like? Take my blood pressure, pee in a cup, listen to the baby's heartbeat, measure my tummy, review any test results and discuss any concerns or questions I may have. Each visit is one hour long.
13. How long do you suggest laboring at home? Said in a joking manner, best would be until 7cm. But who knows how to measure that? We'll have to discuss that later on down the line.
14. Does the hospital I like have private rooms? Yes.

I didn't get to ask: the percentage of births that turn into c-sections. I also didn't get around to asking how many babies he delivers weekly/monthly.

When I raised my concern about weight gain, Mr. Midwife challenged me to no sweets during this entire pregnancy. That's going to be sooooooooooooooooo difficult. I already failed today with two, three pieces of chocolate.

My OB

I really cannot stress enough how much I really like my OB. She's very easy to get along with and very nice but even with all of that I'm just not sure we are going to use her. First of all, it was like hell getting in with her. If I didn't take the appointment yesterday during the middle of my work day then I had to wait until my second trimester to see her. That's how busy she is. Danielle and I took close to 4 hours off from work yesterday just for this appointment. We were waiting so long in both the waiting room and examination room. The consolation prize: patients are able to take any pregnancy magazine they want. Score!!! I just bought one the other day for $6. I quickly got a subscription for a year for $10 after that. But there was the Pregnancy and Newborn Magazine that I didn't get that we were told to take yesterday. Anyway....

During our meeting we learned several things: 1. she is now in a practice with 9 other doctors. We were encouraged to schedule with the other doctors so we could meet them. While I can understand that concept, I followed my OB to this new practice because I wanted HER, not any of them. 2. The only guarantee we could get that she would deliver out baby is if I made it to 39 weeks and got induced on a day she was available. Now, while I'm not here to pass judgement because I don't know much about being induced I will say this... - I'm under the impression the process of being induced was not so that you can specify the day your baby was born but for other more, lets say, medical reasons. I'm also all for the idea of not knowing when I'm going into labor or the day my baby is going to be born. Isn't that part of the fun? And lets point out that if I go earlier than 39 weeks, lets eh say 38w6d, then all bets are off and I get the doctor who is on call that night. Um, I don't think so. Anyway back to my list 3. because she moved practices, she has also moved hospitals. She no longer delivers at my #1 choice but at a more conservative hospital that doesn't allow birth control for their employees on their health plan. So with that in mind, I'm kind of worried that they will have some kind of restriction for Danielle. My doctor's response was "tell them to mind their own business." While I have no problem doing that, I don't want to risk Danielle not being allowed in L&D or caring for the baby.

So it's off to the Midwife we go on Monday. My fantasy would be that I could have both my OB and my Midwife involved but I doubt that happens in the real world. So unless my Midwife is a complete ass, we'll be using him.

In the meantime, Danielle and I are going to BRU this weekend to price some items (crib, furniture, strollers, etc). I can't wait.

This week in pregnancy land: Nausea. That sneaky bastard just kinda crept up on me without notice. Yesterday was the worst. My mother is so cute and told me this morning that she mailed me a box of ginger tea. I say this is cute because she could have easily instructed me to go to the grocery store down the street to get it myself and save the cost of shipping. This morning I also bought some ginger snaps from Whole Foods and B6 vitamins. I haven't taken any of the vitamins yet but I noticed that it is the primary ingredient in those prego pop things. Luckily for me, I'm finding a slight aversion to sweets, candies, etc. This my friends is excellent since it is partly responsible for my weight gain.

Next week we leave for L.A. Yippee!!!!! Sun, beach and my BFF Erica.

Can you stop breathing please?

Ha ha ha, the u/s tech actually asked me to stop breathing during the u/s. It was kinda funny because she never told me when to breath again so I was like dying and taking small gasps of air. Why did she do this? I'm not sure but I think it's because I was so nervous during my u/s appointment that my heart was beating so fast. I'm not sure if that could actually intefere with the recording of the baby's heartbeat but obviously it was screwing up something on her end.

If you recall, the u/s appointments are very strict. There's no asking of questions, no showing of the screen, just the tech looking at the monitor, clicking, moving the dildo cam around and more clicks. Then for a follie check you get a call later on that day with the results. But in my case, at the end of the appointment (about 5 minutes of freaken clicking while my heart is beating a mile a minute wondering what the hell she' s seeing) she called Danielle in, turned the screen to us and showed us SugarPlum. We couldn't hear the heartbeat because she didn't use a Doppler but we got to see it flickering on the screen. It was so awesome. SugarPlum looks like a little bean. His/her heartbeat at 6w3d is 115bpm and measures 5mm. Both she and the RE were happy with this number and I am officially discharged to my OB.

I will crop and adjust the pic when I get home but I quickly stopped off at a copying place before work to have them scan and email Sugarplums pic to me so I could share.

Tone it Down

My anxiety level is out of control. I know, I know, it's not healthy for the baby but honestly, waiting for this u/s on Monday is worse than any tww I've had. I feel like my symptoms are deminishing. Luckily the weekend is here and I have lots planned to distract my mind until Monday.

Midwife Vs. OB

After our u/s next Monday, we will be discharged to my OB. I adore my OB. She does great work but she's so darn busy and does a lot of outreach work to third world countries, which is 100% admirable but it makes her a little inaccessible sometimes. I had to track her down this weekend because she left one group practice and went into another one. My biggest fear about going with her is that she won't be there for the birth. I mean today I called and it was so hard to get an appointment scheduled with her. The receptionist gave me two appointments and then took them back, stating she would have to call me back. I called 2 hours later and it was either next Wednesday in the middle of my work day or in late September which the receptionist calculated would be close to my second trimester. Obviously I took next Wednesday and pray that my supervisor will be understanding as I'm already coming in late next Monday because of the ultrasound at the RE's office. I haven't told my boss and don't plan to for as long as possible.

I also made an appointment for a consultation with a highly recommended midwife, who happens to be a male. Actually, he is only one of three male midwives in the entire state of Pennsylvania. I was told, by a close friend who recently delivered with him, that his care is phenomenal. So while I really liked the idea of having a female midwife (why I have no idea) I'm drawn to him and his work. Additionally, he is in a solo practice so I know only he will deliver our baby. Ultimately I have three midwife options: 1. The Midwife Center- they have a birthing center and deliver back up at AGH. They are a really well respected group of women but I have no interest in birthing at their center which I didn't find all that homey and I don't have any desire to birth at AGH so they are kind of out. 2. The Midwives at Magee Hospital- they too have a good reputation but I learned that I won't always see the same midwife throughout my pregnancy and I'm not with that. 3. Patrick Thornton- solo practice, male midwife who has a good reputation. So we'll see.

My experience so far: I get really hungry really quickly without much notice. I have to stock up on some healthy snacks to help in between meals. I've gained so much weight over these past two years that I'm really concerned about excessive weight gain. While I'll confirm it with my OB, the books tell me I shouldn't gain anymore than 15-20 pounds for my current weight. I don't know how realistic that is so I'm interested to hear about other people's weight gain. I'm walking Gracie 1.5 miles daily so hopefully that will help as well keep it under control.
Today I also noticed that my ta ta's are growing. SCORE!!!!!!!!!! They feel a little heavier and look fuller. While I was never a mbr of the itty bitty titty committee, I don't mind having these nice ta ta's for a while.

I feel a little embarrassed about admitting this but I bought Sugarplum his/her first gift. It's a silver piggy bank. I figured there's no harm in trying to fill it up during the next 9 months.

Wanted: Doggy Daycare

Yesterday, we went to visit Doglogic and all I can say is that whoever manages doggy daycares should shut that place down PRONTO! Here's what was wrong... Two kids were managing about 40 dogs. There were two rooms, one for big dogs and one for little dogs and all they did was roam around the room. The room with the little dogs down the hall was behind a wooden door and they said "we TRY to check in on them about once an hour." He let us literally peek into the room and there was nothing but pee and poop all over the floor in this very drab, windowless room. I asked if they had a schedule for the dogs and they said no. I asked about the inground swimming pool and the outdoor play area and they pointed to the area but didn't take us out there stating that it's mainly there for the big dogs to use and SOMETIMES they will take the little dogs out there. So basically what I gathered is that it is just a dumping ground that you pay almost $20 a day for that lacks supervision, a schedule, adequate staff, or any regard for how the smaller dogs are doing in a very closed off room. We were so outta there.

On a whim we decided to go to Camp Bow Wow. OMG, what a difference. The place was set up nicely, you saw staff cleaning as we went through. They have play areas for ALL dogs that are sectioned off for their size. They monitor the dogs throughout the entire day and will place the dog in their "camper" (kennel) to rest or calm down. They are fed organic food if you decide not to bring your own. You could tell that the staff were really invested in caring for the doggies. However, the owner told us that Gracie was way too small to attend. She would consider taking her when she got to her full weight of 10 pounds. She was concerned that she would get hurt because her bones are still fragile. However, the sweet thing was she took our information and posted it for a personal dog sitter. So it seems that a personal sitter is the way we'll have to go for now.

On a baby note (I almost wrote a ttc note because I'm so use to writing that) thank you so much for all of your well wishes. It's amazing to see how many people read my blog that I didn't even realize or popped over to congratulate me. It's a great feeling to have so many people being so happy for us.

I had my second Beta today and it went from 333 to 1008. We were asked if we wanted to be discharged to our OB or come in for an ultrasound first. We opted for an ultrasound (of course). I need to buy some time anyway because although I love my OB, she travels a lot and I would be very disappointed if she wasn't there for the birth. I really like the idea of a midwife so I need to investigate a little.

And Finally, Baby Makes Three

Can you believe it? I'm finally pregnant. I've been waiting so long for this day to arrive and now that it's here, it feels so surreal. I know, I know, I didn't even tell you that I was ttc this month. But honestly it was a last minute decision. I had titled this cycle "Ah what the hell" on FF. I was relatively calm throughout the whole 2ww. I hung out with friends, went to my niece's christening, shopped, and just didn't really think about it too much. I wasn't even the slightest bit tempted to test. However, this morning af was due and because I hadn't had any of my usual pre af symptoms, I tested and low and behold I got this:

I tried to surprise Danielle but that didn't work because I was so excited that I just kind of blurted it out. There were lots of tears (Danielle), happy dances (me) and hugs (both). I had to reel Danielle in a bit from announcing it on the 6 o'clock news. However, she did tell her mother and sister. Who did I tell? My two online friends, Tosha and Gia. Both were incredibly supportive (thanks), and well you guys. I plan to tell my mother and brother/sil but I've been so busy at work today that I haven't had a chance.

Actually work was really difficult today. From the time we left the RE's office to the time they called me with the results (um about 4 hours later) I was a nervous wreck. My stomach was in knots and I had literally worked myself into a tizzy. I wasn't able to enjoy the bfp at all. It's just so hard to believe that it finally happened to me. I know I'm deserving of this pregnancy but in the back of my mind I'm just so worried. But with that said, I got my Beta results back and for 16dpo, my number is 333. The RE said she was pleased with the number and that I'm in the range they want me to be in. I go back for another Beta on Friday and if all goes well, an u/s in 1-2 weeks.

So there you have it kiddos. A bfp story after 16 tries over a 2 year span, many buckets of tears, multiple RE visits, 2 cycles of clomid, 3 cycles of injectables and the decision to try at home one time without meds, without an IUI, just with Danielle and myself on a Sunday night in our bedroom the way we started this journey.